A list of puns related to "Hour Glass"
It’s now month later, and I have to explain to my wife why we have hundreds of black widow babies.
It takes me an hour to figure out where my glasses are!
There’s this kid who lost an eye at a young age. His family was poor, so they couldn’t afford a glass eye, but his father whittled him a wooden eye. It didn’t look like an eye, but was better than a patch.
He took abuse about his wooden eye for his whole life. Didn’t have friends, never had a gf, etc.
On his 21st birthday he decides he’s going to get drunk for the first time in his life. He goes to a bar and starts drinking heavily.
After a couple of hours, he notices a woman at the bar. She’s vivacious, outgoing, has many friends; but, he notices she has a cleft palate.
He thinks “this girl knows what I’ve been through. She was probably bullied but came out of it confident and friendly. She might be the girl to show that life is worth it, that I can overcome my wooden eye and make a life for the both of us.”
He proceeds to steel his resolve with another couple shots and confidently strolls up to her. “Would you like to dance?”
She replied excitedly “would I?”
He points at her and yells “Hare-lip!!!”
My daughter woke me around 11:50pm last night. My wife and I picked her up from her friend Sally’s birthday party, brought her home and put her to bed. My wife went to the bedroom to read and I fell asleep watching basketball.
“Daddy”, she whispered tugging my shirt.
“Guess how old I’ll be next month?”
“I don’t know, honey.” I said as I slipped on my glasses. “How old?”
She smiled and held up 4 fingers.
It’s now 7:30am. My wife and I have been up with her for almost 8 hours. She still refuses to tell us where she got them.
So we were eating dinner tonight, which is a rare treat because our work hours don't leave much overlapping free time. I had a dark glass with white wine with dinner. She asked what I was drinking, and I decided to recall a friend's joke.
Gf: boss_ginger, what are you drinking? Me: Oh, just water. Do you want it? I can pour another glass. Gf: Please, thank you. takes sip ... Gf: This is wine... Me: Raises hands into the air, leans back in chair Praise the LORD and his miracles!
Fiancee left for work without glasses, asks me to get them.
Enter the university coffee shop she works at, and hand her the glasses, saying loud enough for everyone to hear,
"You left these at my place last night"
and left, without another word.
Hour later on her break, she texts me, calling me an ass, and how she got such looks and snickers. It was wonderful.
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