I have evidence that Robin Hood is aromantic and asexual.

He's an arrow ace.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RoyalRaven14
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
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What's the occupation that has the most likely hood of putting people in the hospital?

A paramedic

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sknabnotloc
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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why couldn't the spicy pepper dress like robin hood for halloween?

He didn't habanero

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tinferbrains
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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I installed a new range hood for an oven

Wife: You need to knock out the vent hole.

Me: I think due to the pandemic, we should wait.

Wife: Why?

Me: The country is low on vent hole laters.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/8Heists
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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Did you know robin hood owned a Flower shop?

It was called the Sherwood Florist

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vapurware
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
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I visited a monastery the other day and as I walked past the kitchen I saw a man frying chips. I asked him "Are you the friar?"

He replied "No, I'm the chip monk..."

πŸ‘︎ 575
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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What do you call the Italian hood?

The Spaghetto.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Multiple_Melons
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2020
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What do you call a Korean restaurant in the hood?

Seoul food.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ForeignFlash
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
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why was the electrician in the hood?

coz switches be trippin,

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πŸ‘€︎ u/acceler8er
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
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Robin HOOd
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shantotto11
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
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Why are KKK members terrible car mechanics?

They never check under the hood.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/morsodo99
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
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I'm not circumcised as I cum from the hood
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elephantbeepbeeps
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2018
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What do gangstas decorate their Christmas trees with?

Hood ornaments

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ironfist221
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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My wife is reppin the realest hood since Compton

Motherhood

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πŸ‘€︎ u/linknt01
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
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Was Robin Hood a good boyfriend?

Yeah, he Maid Marian happy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Locath13
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
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A saw a man with the hood on his coat jumping up and down reddit.com/r/cleanjokes/c…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/devanks
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
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I live in a hood and bough my kid a toy gun

We call it pack-n-play

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PLUMBUM2
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
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"Dad can you take your prosthetic off the table?"

"No, I'm trying to get a leg up."

(my actual amputee father)

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OnlyHere4Info
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
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The sheriff of Nottingham and his son were talking about robin hood

His son asked if he really stole from the rich and gave to the poor the sheriff told his son he does and his son asked "would he steal from us too?" And the sheriff replied "He Sherwood son"

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
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What's the worst hood in America?

Adulthood

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhisperTickles
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
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The store told me they would sell me a hoodie with a hood that couldn’t close

They said they would sell it to me no strings attached.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MightBeATaco
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2019
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What did Robin Hood say when asked if he wanted to take a walk in the woods?

Sherwood.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Baby-Soft-Elbows
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2018
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In the hood
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AuraBorah
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2017
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Robin Hood was finally captured and tied up.

The sheriff of Knottingham was the one who got him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2019
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Why was "Robin Hood" pulled from the elementary school library?

Too much Saxon violence.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrunkenTree
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2018
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Why did skeleton Robin Hood get kicked out of the costume party?

He forgot his bow n' marrow!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TRUEfoe-X
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2018
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What did Robin Hood say when Little John kept bothering him?

I Sherwood love it if you'd knock it off.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/actionscripted
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2018
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Imgur-ate with these puns
πŸ‘︎ 853
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πŸ‘€︎ u/uncle81
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2019
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I'm always skeptical of artists drawing in the hood

It's so sketchy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TerlerSwerft
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2018
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Jack and the Beanstalk meets Little Red Riding Hood

This is the story of Jack and the Beanstalk, after the story ends. After chopping down the beanstalk, Jack realizes that he’s actually pretty damn good with an axe, and casual vegetative vandalism really struck his fancy, so he began chopping down other trees for a living. He became a traveling woodsman, and he enjoyed many years of his simple life of manual labor.

One day, as he chops wood, he hears screams from a nearby cottage. Hurriedly breaking in (because recall: jack has no problem with entering houses uninvited), he sees a cross dressing lycanthrope attempting to devour a little girl dressed all in red and her little grandmother too. Wielding his trusty axe, Jack murdered yet another fantasy creature, and safely led Little Red all the way back home. Answering the door was a beautiful woman of around his age. After sending Little Red to bed, the two of them talked for hours.

One thing led to another, and a year later they were married with a child on the way. They had a beautiful little boy named Jack Junior who followed in his father’s steps to become a woodsman. This was fortunate, because as Junior grew up, Jack was feeling the pain of his previous adventures. An old back injury from jumping from the beanstalk was haunting him, and over time his posture grew more and more hunched. He had a tough time working, but at least Junior was becoming a strapping young man.

One day, Jack and Junior took the long road to the grandmothers place to bring her a meal, just like that fateful trio Red took so many years ago. When they arrived, the grandmother greeted them cheerily, welcoming them in and making conversation. β€œOh Junior,” she said, β€œyou’ve grown into such a handsome and strong young man. It’s so kind of you to handle all the work so your poor father, with his bad back and all, doesn’t have to. Why don’t you have a girlfriend yet?” Junior hesitated. β€œWell Grandma,” he replied. β€œIt’s because... I’m gay”. The close-minded, set-in-her-ways grandma’s expression became stormy. She pulled poor hunched-over Jack into adjacent room, and whispered angrily: β€œJack, your life is a mess! Your posture is terrible and your son isn’t giving me any grandsons!” Jack replied: β€œMa, we’re happy, you can’t just-β€œ But she interrupted. β€œNo excuses!” She snapped. β€œYou need to straighten your lumbar, Jack!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/coyoteTale
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2017
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What do you call pasta that lives in the hood ?

Spaghetto.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Radmangoes
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2017
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Little Red Riding Hood was arrested yesterday in Montana

The judge told her she was going to hell in a hand basket.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/marcuccione
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2017
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I got a Red Riding Hood hood for 60% off

I guess you call a fair retail

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πŸ‘€︎ u/logiko
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2017
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My daughter said it would be awesome if we could go see where Robin Hood used to live...

I said, "It Sherwood".

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2016
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If I were a modern day Robin Hood...

If I was a modern day Robin Hood donning a mustache and a sombrero, I would target the fashion industry mugging ladies for their expensive footwear.

I would say "JΓ­mmy your ChΓΌs."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ywkwpwnw
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2016
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There's a detective named Frederick Lee...

His teammate is an anthropomorphic pig who wore a hood like little red riding hood. The pig’s name was Boar-Hood. So this one time, I wanted them to check out a masked menace in New York City. Fred wanted to lead the investigation. But since the criminal’s mask was animal themed, I said to them, β€œFred Lee: nay. Boar-hood: spy the man”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/megadecimal
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
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Do you ever think back to child hood and regret not make enough puns? For example: (History) Vladamir Putin more than halved the poverty rate during his first term.

(Under breath but loud enough that everyone can hear) guess he was really Puttin some work in

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProllyWasted
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2015
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Dad's thoughts on landscaping in the hood.

We were sitting around the dinner table talking about buying some trees to plant in the lawn this fall.

Dad says: "We need some thug trees."

We all give him a puzzled look and ask what on earth he means by that.

His reply: "I hear they're very shady."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/localglocal
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2015
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Watching Disney's Robin Hood with my kids...

Boy, that Maid Marian sure is a FOXY lady!

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BrainRadio
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2013
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What's Robin Hoods girlfriend called?

A teacher asks her class "Can anyone tell me the name of Robin Hood's girlfriend?"

Little Paddy raises his hand and says "Yes Miss, it's Trudy Glen."

"No Paddy, the answer is Maid Marion."

"But Miss, what about the song? Robin Hood, Robin Hood, riding Trudy Glen."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aontroim
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2015
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Driving down the road with my dad and he sees an old Volkswagen beetle without the rear hood...

"Hey, you can see all the junk inside her trunk."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhiteBaconPrince
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2014
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My dad stops abruptly in front of his car in the parking lot and looks at the hood...

"SHIT!" ....patiently waits for someone in my family to see the bird poop he is staring at while my mom is freaking out about a possible dent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/seewhatyadidthere
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2013
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What do you get when you cross a tortoise and a porcupine

A slow poke

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
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What do you call the Italian hood

The sphaghetto

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Roboragemachine
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
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What do you call an Italian from the hood?

Spaghetto

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hi_im_Nadeem
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2019
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If Robin Hood stole from the poor and gave to the rich, then he'd be Robbin' The Hood.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KyuubiBlade
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2018
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Why did Skeleton Robin Hood get boo'd at the Costume Party??

Q: Why did Skeleton Robin Hood get boo'd at the Costume Party??

A: He forgot his Bow n' Marrow!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TRUEfoe-X
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2018
🚨︎ report

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