The queen liked my girlfriend so much, she immediately made her an honorary member of the royal family...

She was really empressed!

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📅︎ Apr 24 2021
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Why did Santa make Eminem an honorary elf?

He was a pretty good wrapper

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👤︎ u/flrgx
📅︎ Dec 10 2020
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Did you hear about the scarecrow that was made an honorary deputy?

He's constantly preventing murders

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👤︎ u/ShaggyB
📅︎ Aug 07 2018
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My wife is an honorary dad

Her: Did you know that the pool on the titanic is still full of water?

Me: Welcome to the club!

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👤︎ u/unclerudy
📅︎ Feb 06 2018
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My best friend is only 24 but an honorary dad-joker for coming out with this gem...

What's green and lets you do stuff?

Permit the Frog.

👍︎ 34
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👤︎ u/axisundone
📅︎ Oct 03 2013
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Apparently my daughter is an honorary dad

I looked at my wife earlier and said, "I don't know about you, but I'm hungry." My four year old daughter replied, "Nice to meet you, Hungry!"

👍︎ 8
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📅︎ Jul 22 2016
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My aunt is now an honorary dad.

This just happened. My cousin was talking about a girl in her class who decided not to walk during their graduation. My aunt asked her what the girl's name was. When my cousin said "her name is Eileen or something" my aunt replied with "Oh, the girl with one leg?" She got a lot of groans.

👍︎ 8
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👤︎ u/deck-neep
📅︎ May 23 2015
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Petition to make /u/TomBergeronAMA an honorary mod
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👤︎ u/dabisnit
📅︎ Feb 24 2014
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You know how when geese fly they fly in a V formation and one side is always longer than the other? Do you know why that is?

There are more geese on that side.

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📅︎ Nov 19 2019
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What vampire does everyone accept, but basically ignore?

DracEULA.

👍︎ 1k
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📅︎ Oct 29 2015
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I'd be surprised if this is a re-post

My soccer inflicted ingrown toenail has been giving me serious grief, exasperated by an infection. Swollen, purple and painful, my wife told me I needed to buy an expensive set of nail scissors and clippers to trimming down the offending nail.

I replied with "For toepiary?"

I think i must have failed in the telling of my 'dadjoke'. She did NOT roll her eyes but actually laughed!

I guess the journey is long in this game.

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👤︎ u/Toocents
📅︎ Aug 17 2016
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He got engaged to a certified dad

The guy I'm dating's last name is Feliz.

Over the holidays at his family's New Years party his little brother asked his girlfriend to marry him. Her response? Yes! It would make me happy.

Feliz is Spanish for happy. He is literally making her happy. I was rolling. I think everyone else may have heard variations of the joke too many times cause all they did was groan but I definitely think she's a honorary dad.

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📅︎ Jan 01 2015
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Just got home from vacation

Once we got home, I told my fiance that the last two countries we went through made us honorary citizens.

She looked at me with confusion as we drove the whole way and never left the country.

I smiled as I told her while we were on the way we were Russian, and once we got home we were Finnish.

She hit me. I just laughed.

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📅︎ May 10 2014
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Hanging with my Buddy

We're sitting here laughing our asses off at Dad jokes and we were wishing we could make quality jokes when my cat was sticking his head into a mcdonalds sack. We laughed and my cat stuck his head out and looked at us. My buddy turns to me and says "Well I guess the cat's out of the bag." He is an honorary dad to me now.

👍︎ 13
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📅︎ Nov 13 2013
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