Hereford Cattle Puns

So, a little more backstory, we like to sell show cattle because honestly, we get pretty attached. I don’t like to talk about it but we bond with them from calves, and they’re very tame. We treat them like pets at the expense of our mental health in exchange for theirs. And we keep and expand the more we are able. We only ahem the ones we will eat ourselves otherwise we sell them. It’s something I’ve had a lot of trouble coming to terms with and honestly, when I’m like 70, I have a plan to end my breeding program. I also breed hybrid felines. Stories for another day.

We recently started boarding cows for other people and eating the overhead cost to streamline it. My clients first heifer calved and had an infection so it’s blind but healthy and happy and beautiful and she wants to breed her still and vet says cool beans so. Anyways. It occurred to me this might be a good system to scale. Does anyone have experience with this and how to make it work? I can scale my facilities, they aren’t even full. What we are working with is they just pay for feed, and the auction price we get for whatever cow they signal on. And we split sale price. We aren’t doing anything for boarding but in the future we may need to to factor in lot scaling. We have about half of our small lots full. Minus ac calfing zones.

I’m on a long car ride, lol. Thoughts?

Edit: split profit after giving back auction price we agreed upon. Misspoke.

My family used to have BWFs until my grandpa retired- now my parents have the ranch and want to start off small but don’t know where to start- we were never successful and the meat was shit. I rope and sort but I’ve never raised beef so I want to help them start out right, pick a breed with a good temperament and also produce good beef. What would you suggest for absolute beginners?

Has anyone seen and how do you like it.( Beth fans opinions ignored)

Myself, The Wife, and Stepdot own and operate a small (6.5 acre) farm in north-central Arkansas. On the farm, we have 25 Jacob Sheep, 1 llama (guardian for the sheep), 6 dairy goats (alpine x nubian) and 1 mutt goat companion for the buck, 1 Jersey cow (with an Angus x calf), 27 mixed chickens (including 1 rooster), 2 dogs, and 3 cats. Oh, and 2 recently added hereford pigs!

The sheep are raised for fiber (The Wife is a fiber artist... spinning, weaving, crochet). A couple of the sheep have some dairy genetics and The Wife wants to try milking them this spring. We'll see how that goes... We also raise them for meat (can't keep all the ram lambs!).

The cow is here for the milk and cream. The Wife makes LOTS of cheeses, and Stepdot makes butter or cooks with the cream. And since we breed her back to beef cattle, we put something in the freezer, too.

The chickens are here for eggs and entertainment. We typically do not eat them... kinda hate plucking LOL

The dairy goats are here for the milk. The Wife prefers goat milk, and makes cheese.

The pigs are here to consume the leftover milk and whey, and they'll eventually be bacon and chops.

In the summer, we have a scattershot acre of garden that is mostly herbs, tomatoes, okra, strawberries, raspberries, blackberries, and 1 fig tree.

Sorry for rambling, thanks for reading. See ya around...

The desire to own land has been moving the prepping and off-grid communities for generations. Having a few acres that give you room to do almost anything you can think of is a dream for many of us. Even more, achieving self-sufficiency on such a lot, and having a large pond or a small woodlot, is the ultimate life goal for some.

Owning half an acre or more provides you with endless possibilities when it comes to farming and you must become as efficient as possible to avoid wasting time and resources. With a large lot, you just won’t have the time to do everything you want, and you will keep yourself busy all day trying to cover everything that needs to be done.

Tools are needed

If you have a plot of land ranging from one to five acres, you will need certain tools to make your life easier. For example, a chainsaw can be used for both landscaping jobs and rough carpentry if needed.

If you plan to build a fence, you will need various tools to do the job right. A 13-pounds maul is an indispensable tool for wooden posts, and if you use fence wire, you’ll need wire stretchers.

The more fencing you have; the more work will be needed to keep vegetation from growing up in the fence lines. In such a case, a string trimmer becomes mandatory to clear the weeds.

Pulling and lifting jobs become impossible chores without a hand winch, a tool that becomes indispensable at times.

A sturdy barn

As time goes by, you will acquire more and more tools, and you’ll find that a barn will become the ideal place to store all those tools. Even more, it will keep feed dry, it can host machinery and protect it from the elements, and it can accommodate your livestock. It can host a milking parlor for goats and pretty much all the utilities you can think of.

Most people go with the two-story, gable-roofed barn since this design passed the efficiency and time-lasting tests. Some folks incorporate their chicken coop into their barn, especially if one side of the building provides access to a pasture area. Also, keep in mind that your barn should be connected to a corral. By doing so, you will be able to move livestock between pens but also load them into a truck with ease.

Building a barn is not easy since you’re dealing with a large construction project, and it becomes a major responsibility. Your barn needs to be strong enough to hold a heavy load in the upper loft and be able to also keep the elements out.

When you decide to build

Video (steak cooking starts at 8:30) :

https://youtu.be/3lhrXzxoBXQ

I grew up on a cattle ranch. We initially had all Hereford cattle. If you don’t know the breed, it’s a red with white face often curled hair on the face medium to large (for cattle breed) animal. They were gentle and often could become pet like animals that put on a lot of good marbling and fat.

In the mid 80’s the media began telling everyone “fat is bad” so the packing houses started asking for Brangus and Angus characteristics. So we began transitioning to the Angus breed with some Brangus. These were not gentile, docile animals. They were incredibly muscular and far more high spirited. We had a lot of cows who would literally do all they could to kill you once we separated them from their calves.... and they would do this with long memories. Anyway, I noticed a massive change in the quality of the meat and fat content from the two breed. I call it the dark years of meat production. Seemingly over a period of 10 years streaks went from heavily marbled, lots of fat to lean and mean. The Angus netted us more money as a producer but at a cost of needing more feedlot prep to get a good steak. This had two effects on the market. First the average stake house saw a decline in quality while the higher end steak houses saw a large increase in the cost of a properly fatted steer. We found it took 3-4x longer feeding and pampering during the early years of Angus/Brangus breeds to get deep rich marveling and flavor.

That’s been 40+ years. Today the selective breeding and years of careful selection has made for a better Angus / Brangus steak. However, I recently ate some prime Hereford steaks and was reminded that it’s hard to beat the gentle and naturally fat generating Hereford. I’ll say this, Europe farmers never really bought into this “fat is bad” campaign as far as beef production goes. They ignored the media and kept producing what they had perfected long ago.

Most of the cattle ranches, where I grew up, have a mix herd these days. Their cattle, genetically are a mix of Hereford, Angus, Brangus and Lemoisin. It’s interesting, the females are smaller than Hereford and most Angus cows. In general, their hornless. You’ll see a mix of colors with a lot of white faces. Most of the ranchers are using Angus Bulls and occasionally bringing in other breeds to “see what happens”.

Our ranch (sold it in 1992) was in the mountains of NM where the Guadalupe and Sacramento Mountains

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”

“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.

Mentos

(I will see myself out)

The doctor says it terminal.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Original conception and first draft

https://www.reddit.com/r/writers/comments/rb6z89/cow_pies_original_first_draft_workshopping/

The point is that it doesn't matter what subject you choose or what characters you create, it matters that you get the ideas out of your head where they do nobody any good and onto a page where you can work with them.

I really do want to show you that my drafts look as crummy as anybody else's.

Cow Pie In the Sky

Ferdinand: a bullfighting bull who has great hopes and whose present is haunted by a memory of his mother.

The cows: Bessie Mae, Maybell, Desi, Daisy, Betsy, Betty, Angie, Norma, Jessa.

Piggy: a large pig who lives with the cows.

Cecil B de Bull: Ferdinand's friend who is killed in a bullfight.

Mr. Yogi: A human who loves animals and who delights in the natural world.

The Industrial Dairy Farmers: a conglomerate of humans who run a network of milking operations that use industrial milking machines and beef hormones and sedatives.

Tex Oilauger The Industrial Beef Farmer: A human who runs a slaughterhouse, but who decides that mechanical meat separators are the way of the future, so he fires his human labor force nd transitions to a completely automatic system to kill cows more efficiently.

Desperate Dave: A cowhand who works on the beef farm as a cow puncher and drinks to get over the trauma of constantly smahing the pretty, trusting faces of cows.

Smoking Cigarette: A hotheaded cigarette that smokes cigarettes.

The Villagers: people who believe cows are sacred

CHAPTER 1

"Moo. Your name is Ferdinand A. Bull. Moo." He remembered his mother spoke in the language of Cow Tongue. He remembered when he was a slunk lolling in a pasture after suckling her, she had told him: "Moo! Hey, diddle diddle! The Cat play the fiddle! The cows jump over the Moon! The little Piggy laugh to see such sport! And the dish run away with the spoon! Moo!" And he repeated it back to her.

"Moo!" He had sighed and then he recited: "Hey, diddle diddle! The Cat play a fiddle! The cows jump over the Moon!" He'd rolled onto his back. "The little Piggy laugh to see such a sport! And the dish run away with a spoon! Moo!" And then he'd flopped onto his side. His mother nuzzled him and licked him and he'd fallen asleep.

Ferdinand's eyes open and he is alone in a dark bullpen. The sound of many feet pounding above the bullpen have aroused him and Cecil is gone. A slit of light cuts across the floor from a crack in the fence. Ferdinand he

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

He lost May

Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.

Gender is fluid.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

But let me give it a shot.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

He’s the new temp.

And now I’m cannelloni

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.