He finishes his drink and asks for his check.
Duck billed platypus.
I told him “actually that was a stroke”
You boil the hell out of it.
I couldn't rest on my Laurels.
Aye matey.
I replied that all I need is a mirror...
My iPhone, complete with the hardy Otterbox case, fell on the floor today in front of my dad. I picked it up and muttered "...and people ask me why I use this massive Otterbox."
My dad said: "right, its just in case."
As I stare at the cheese aisle, I'm trying to decide what looks Gouda for my Munster appetite— each cheese goating me to choose it. The truth is, I don't know Jack about cheese selection. But then I realize I Havarti made my choice. I'll go with cheddar, because it has Provolone-standing favorite of mine. Now I better stop this Brie-fore it gets too cheesy.
True story—happened today. Hardy har harlsberg.
Mom- considering 3 of the 4 of us like Wicked and the other hasn't seen it before... Me- How wicked of you. Rest of family- Hardy har har
My dad would say:
Dad: "Why did they put a fence around the cemetery?"
Me: I don't know, why?
Dad: "Because people were dying to get in!"
hardy har har, Dad.
