Guaiac Puns

I can't find anything that tells me if dog's hemoglobin is the same or different enough to cause false results. TIA.

And what could I say in reply, when it wasn't MY blood?

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Also when did you know you wanted to be a dick doc? I feel like these are things i would not get desensitized to over time.

Available here

🧵Bluestocking -- a big cup of chamomile tea, lavender shortbread, creamy tonka bean, guaiac wood heart

🦢 Demi-monde -- royal sandalwood, syrupy aged patchouli, fresh violets, rockrose resin, creamy vanilla & white chocolate bonbons, vintage skin musk

👒 Green Girl -- pistachio, wildflower honey, oatmilk matcha latte, heliotrope blossoms, marshmallow musk

🧇 Hoyden -- fresh orange juice, sweet waffles with butter and caramelized maple syrup, mounds of whipped cream

🕯 Ladybird -- caramelized fig, smoky lapsang souchong tea leaves, pink peppercorn, cashmere vanilla musk, myrrh resin

Which blends are you most intrigued by?

This is a review of all my Vanilla decants, full bottles and samples!

Note: I have't included my thoughts on perfumes I didn't like and therefore did not keep the samples. I also don't include perfumes that are more Amber leaning.

Dior - Feve Delicieuse

Level of Vanillaness: 7/10

Other key notes: Tonka, Caramel, Sandalwood, Jasmin, Bergamot

Grade: 9.5/10

Thoughts: Although it is a vanilla scent - I would say the Jasmin and Sandalwood notes are very strong. I absolutely love this perfume - it's so warm and comforting!

Kilian - Love don't be Shy

Level of Vanillaness: 8/10

Other key notes: Caramel, Jasmin, Orange Blossom, honeysuckle, Bergamot

Grade: 9.5/10

Thoughts: At first the whiff of Orange Blossom and Bergamot is very strong but at is dries down it becomes a sugary and citrusy vanilla. Amazing perfume for those in search of an amazing Gourmand.

Nobile 1942 - La Danza delle Libellule

Level of Vanillaness: 7/10

Other key notes: Coconut, Cinnamon, Apple, Bergamot

Grade: 8/10

Thoughts: Smells of holidays! Coconut and Vanilla with a side of citrus.

MFK - Grand Soir

Level of Vanillaness: 7/10

Other key notes: Amber, Tonka, Benzoin

Grade: 9/10

Thoughts: I added this one as the Vanilla is very present, but I would say it is equally Ambery with a strong punch of Benzoin. Love love love this one.

6140 Tuesdays - Creamy Vanilla Crumble

Level of Vanillaness: 9/10

Other key notes: Custard, Hay, Tobacco

Grade: 8.5/10

Thoughts: A literal vanilla and custard crumble. Would eat.

Bastille - Un, Deux, Trois, Soleil

Level of Vanillaness: 7/10

Other key notes: Tonka, Benzoin, Almond, Bergamot, Pepper

Grade: 7.5/10

Thoughts: A fresh and peppery Vanilla with Benzoin thrown in!

Floral Street - Wild Vanilla Orchid

Level of Vanillaness: 7/10

Other key notes: Sandalwood, Patchouli, Jasmin, Citrus

Grade: 7/10

Thoughts: Lovely and easy to wear floral and citrusy vanilla. It dries down a strong vanilla.

Hermes - Vanille Galante

Level of Vanillaness: 5/10

Other key notes: Cognac, Cacao, Tobacco

Grade: 6/10

Thoughts: A decent perfume but oddly for a perfume with the name vanilla in it I can't smell it much compared to the other notes!

Serge Lutens - Un Bois Vanille

Level of Vanillaness: 7/10

Other key notes: Coconut, Tonka, Sandalwood, Almond, Benzoin

Grade: 8/10

Thoughts: A posh and powdery vanilla. Not too sweet despite the addition of coconut and almond!

**Imaginary Authors - Memoirs of a Tre

Alchemies of Love Perfume Collection – 2022

Apotheosis of Rose: A riotous bouquet of heirloom roses, rare white lotus, ethereal iris, vine jasmine, white amber, succulent jackfruit, glazed apricots, candied flower petals, absinthe blanche, kotata berries, and blonde woods.

Esprit de la Terre: Dark loamy earth, olive flowers, pepperbush, birchbark, green cedar, sandalwood, Early Gray tea, rosewood, leather, gingergrass, coriander, oakmoss, vetiver, and ambergris.

Kara Sevde: An insouciant romance of blood oranges, Taif roses, peach blossom, Amasya musk apple, medlar, white pomegranate, and gin palace botanicals -- juniper, coriander, elderflowers, Primofiore citrus peel, angelica, Grains of Paradise, and violet root.

Poudre d'épicine: A luxuriant floof of gender neutral powder and Japanese musk with a soft enticement of mint creme anglaise.

Rosa Alchemica: Red rose, rhubarb, dark plum, Chambord, spicebush, cassis, lemon verbena, aphrodisiac golden amber, vanilla infused patchouli, opoponax, labdanum, guaiac, and botanical pheromones.

Among the Pines (re-release): A boreal meditation of Siberian balsam pine, Moroccan cedar, oakmoss, Hinoki cypress, Balm of Gilead, and Assam black tea.

Our limited edition Special Reserve perfumes for this release include:

Elation: White sweet oud, smoke tinged caramel and soft blonde woods smouldering in an intense luxuriance of Mai de Rose, red saffron, bergamot, rose geranium, aphrodisiac ylang-ylang, piquant nutmeg, and rare white ambergris.

Love Song of Shui Shin (rerelease): From an ancient Babylonian aphrodisiac perfume recipe... a gloriously golden seduction of dark honeycomb, 5 year aged labdanum amber, oud wood, spikenard, roses petals and bay leaves fermented in honey wine, and cedarwood incense. Heavy and sweet as the body of a beloved.
In other perfume news, we have finally restocked Raven. For lovers of nature and nature inspired scents… Roll in the Hay and Moss Maiden are now available in ultime concentration.

February’s Gift Alchemy

Rose Musk Alchemy, a sensual perfume alchemy of pangender musks and fresh hothouse roses will be available with orders over $50 (excluding shipping) starting February 1st. Available while supplies last.

I'm super excited about this, it's floral in best possible way! Do any of these catch your attention, what are your thoughts?

Do your worst!

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

First off I wanna say that this was my favorite release thus far in the 2 years i have been buying indie perfumes, i felt like they totally catered to the nature lovers, pine lovers like me that love all things green and i am in love! Thank you fyrinnae. Here are my reviews, feel free to chime in on your thoughts.

Orca Splash

Salty, icy sea spray, hitting the forest at the water's edge like mist, enveloping you in the scents of a Pacific inlet, with old growth hemlocks, Sitka spruce, and cedar trees all towering above

This had a salty and cedarish smell upon first sniff,couldnt really smell the hemlock or spruce, but its very reminiscent of my cruise to alaska from seattle, that smell of ocean salt and sea spray, beautiful. 4/5

Spotted Skunk

Gooey, sweet vegan marshmallows as they are just beginning to melt under low heat.   Winter 2021

I believe they have another scent like this but it had spices in it, and i am not a fan of spice but this, wow incredible, this is really the by the fireplace marshmallow roasting smell and its lovely. 5/5

Winter Sound

Puget Sound, of course. Wet snow falling in silence as cold air takes over the shoreline forest, coating fir and hemlock needles, sticking to the cedar bark

Camphorish smell at first sniff, then that coating of fallen pine on the forest floor comes through. Not sweet definitely for all the pine lovers out there. 5/5

Elk Herd

Red cedar wood (juniper), guaiac wood, vetiver, bergamot, Douglas fir needles, an air of cold forest mulch & soil.  Winter 2021

Elk herd smells like creed himalaya, like identical, incredible more of a manly scent, absolutely gorgeous, last forever on the skin like 12 hours plus stunning, smells like a very stunning man in the winter.

Black Tailed deer

Fresh cut Douglas fir wood! Sweet evergreen wood and fir needles the moment it is sawed into or a branch broken

This is STUNNING! i wanna give it a 20/10. Its smells like cutting a fresh christmas tree from a christmas tree farm, surrounded by snow and cold air, its incredible, they outdid themselves with this one. 20/5

Bobcat Kittens

The warm aroma of cardamom swirled into cold winter air.  Winter 2021

This was beautiful but not my favorite unfortunately i Didn’t smell cold air at all on this, i thought there would be some colder note it this, if there was I definitely didnt smell it and i realized that cardamom is not my favorite, if you love cardamom you will love this. 2/5

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

A play on words.

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

When I got home, they were still there.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.

I won't be doing that today!

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭

Just sharing the email ~

"We're slipping you a sneak peek! Coming next Thursday at noon EST - 5 new scents inspired by Regency slang, just in time for Galentine's Day!

Bluestocking -- a big cup of chamomile tea, lavender shortbread, creamy tonka bean, guaiac wood heart

Demi-monde -- royal sandalwood, syrupy aged patchouli, fresh violets, rockrose resin, creamy vanilla & white chocolate bonbons, vintage skin musk

Green Girl -- pistachio, wildflower honey, oatmilk matcha latte, heliotrope blossoms, marshmallow musk

Hoyden -- fresh orange juice, sweet waffles with butter and caramelized maple syrup, mounds of whipped cream

Ladybird -- caramelized fig, smoky lapsang souchong tea leaves, pink peppercorn, cashmere vanilla musk, myrrh resin"

I want Green Girl + Ladybird very badly 😢