Growths Puns

But now they groan up.

An ex-or-cyst?

The number of subscribers are growing every day.

Urine trouble

I think he's ab cyst.

A pharma-cyst

My reply was "I'm sure Weed Growth's parents would prefer to refer to them as developmentally delayed."

I'm calling it my nail file

And then you had a growth spurt.

It took him a few minutes...

My wife flashed before my eyes.

For example

Ben is in a hurry

vs

Ben is in a comma

Because he never cooperates.

With a large, painful lump under his armpit. In a slight panic, the man asks the doctor if there's any way he can help by informing him of what the massive growth is.

The doctor looks carefully and slightly questioning his diagnosis says, "A cyst?"

"Right", says the man, "I'd love to know what the hell this thing is and if you can help me with it".

The company is really growing.

I was describing to my family a weed I'd found in the garden, which had a "strong herbal smell." My daughter (3), who loves to joke about words, grinned and said, "Turtle smell?"

My mother, to engage with her, said, "How does a turtle smell?"

My father and I answered in perfect unison: "With its nose!"

It felt like a significant moment in my growth as a dad.

It's a growth business.

(The resulting wife's eye roll made my day. )

Our newborn was crying for a while tonight and I suggested to my wife that she was having a growth spurt. My wife asked "how long is a growth spurt?" I said, "I don't know, maybe a quarter inch". She just groaned and told our kid that I'm not funny.

I was getting dropped off at school with my now wife by my now father-in-law. There was a little person on campus who happened to pass in front of our car while smoking a cigarette as we were getting ready to get out.

>Wife: "There's the LP who is in my African American studies class. She always has a cigarette in her hand."

>Father-in-law: "She should be careful; it may stunt her growth."

>Me: smirk