Ground Water Table Puns

Before you let your kids get a puppy, take the Puppy Test.

Best taken in the autumn or mid winter.

1. Buy a lead and tie it to a big stone, walk around dragging the stone behind you.
2. Get up at 5am, go out in the pouring rain and walk up and down a muddy path, repeating good girl/boy, wee wees...poo poos, quickly please
3. Stuff your pockets with plastic bags and pick up all the poo you can find, obviously not your dogs as you have not bought it yet ??
4. Start wearing your shoes indoors, especially during muddy times
5. Collect leaves off the ground and spread them on the floor
6. Carry sticks and branches indoors and chop them up on your carpet
7. Pour cold apple juice on the rug and floor....walk barefooted over it in the dark
8. Drop some chocolate pudding on your carpet in the morning and then try to clean it in the evening
9. Wear socks to which you have made holes using a blender
10. Jump out of your favorite chair just before the movie ends and run to open the back door
11. Cover all your best clothes with dog hair, dark clothes with blond hairs and light clothes with dark hairs
12. Tip all just ironed clothes on the floor
13. Make little pin holes in all your furniture, especially chair and table legs
14. When doing dishes, splash water all over the place and don't wipe it.
15. Spread toilet paper all over the house when you leave the house and tidy up when you get back home
16. Forget any impulse holidays and/or breaks
17. Always go straight home after work or school
18. Go for walks no matter what the weather, and inspect every dirty paper, chewing gum and dead fly you might find
19. Stand at your back door at five in the morning shouting, "Bring Mr Bumble and Mr Lion in, its raining.”
20. Wake up at 3am. Place a correct size bag of flour on top of yourself and try to sleep, whilst wiping your face with a dishcloth, which you have left next to your bed in a bowl last week.
    Repeat everyday over 6 months and if you still think getting a puppy sounds like a good idea, Congratulations, you might be ready for your kids to get your puppy.

Funny collection of chemistry puns

What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver? SWAG

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Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He’s 0K now.

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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution.

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How do Sulfur and Oxygen communicate? A sulfone

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What do you call Iron blowing in the wind? Febreeze.

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Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium the healing elements? Because if you can’t helium or curium, you barium!

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Why did the noble gas cry? Because all his friends argon.

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Why did the acid go to the gym? To become a buffer solution!

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Why can you never trust atoms? They make up everything!

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Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak? Because it’s in the ground state.

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How many moles are in a guacamole? Avocado’s number.

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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.

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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.

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Why are chemists great for solving problems? They have all the solutions.

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What element is a girl’s future best friend? Carbon.

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I had to make these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.

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Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na

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Why can you never trust atoms? They make up everything!

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Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He’s 0K now.

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What do you do with a dead chemists? Barium

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What animal is made up of calcium, nickel and neon? A CaNiNe

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What did the chemist snack on during lunch? A ‘gram’ cracker.

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What would you call a clown in jail? Silicon (Silly Con)

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What weapon can you make from the elements potassium, nickel and iron? A KNiFe.

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How did carbon propose to Hydrogen? With a “carbonkneel”

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What did one titration tell the other? Let’s meet at the endpoint.

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How can you spot a chemist in the restroom? They wash their hands before they go.

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Why are chemists great for solving problems? They have all the solutions.

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Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na

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Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.

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Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about helium? He just could not put it down

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Why do chemistry professor like to

... keep reading on reddit ➡

We had just finished dinner and were sitting around the table. My grandma "well..." and starts to get up. My grandpa chimes in with "That's a hole in the ground that you get water from."

Took us both a second to get.