Calling for something at work, I had the option to hear a joke. I gladly accepted.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

A stick.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/mmmdddmmm
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 27 2014
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
In spite of all our disagreements on Reddit, Iโ€™m glad about one thing.

Every one reading this is on the same page.

Edit: Thanks guys. This is way too much love.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 18k
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 21 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
For everyone glad to be done with 2020...

... just remember next year is 2022.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 13
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Daudelin1
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 01 2021
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Glad I found this sub because I love telling dad jokes

...he even laughs sometimes

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 263
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Ubitquitus
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 02 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Iโ€™m so glad 2020 is over, but I canโ€™t believe we have to go through it again after 2021...

After all, itโ€™s twenty twenty too

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Zippy_the_dog
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 31 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Glad I could deLIVER
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 36
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Un_FaZed211
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 27 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Orange you glad itโ€™s fall??

Lol

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/A-constant-beat
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 24 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
My brother had to quit his job as a weightlifter because he wasn't strong enough.

He handed in his too weak notice yesterday.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 13k
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Karma-Effect
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 13 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Seems like a Bassless claim to me
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 4k
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/cREDBARON
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 08 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Mine would just say "I'm glad you enjoyed my free Willy and we had a whale of a time, but we need to sea otter whales."
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 31
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/zenithh7
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 27 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Iโ€™m so glad my post died in new!

If it had died in hot, it would have been hell!

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/BrazilBazil
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 01 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Iโ€™m glad I know sign language...

...itโ€™s become real handy

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 9
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/RapiDMillionairE
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 30 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
I'm glad my friend enlightened me on this deal
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 2k
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Bflowwolf
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 23 2019
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Did you hear about the italian chef that died?

He pasta way. We cannoli do so much. Theres nutelling what can happen next... His legacy will become a pizza history. Here today, gone tomato. I can only espress-so much grief, but lettuce romaine calm. How sad that he ran out of thyme. Ashes to ashes, crust to crust. There's just not mushroom left for italian chefs in this world... Sending olive my prayers to his family. His wife is really upset, cheese still not over it... You never sausage a tragic thing. Its such a shame good people die fusilli reasons. It was a farfalle from grace... My condolences for Roberto, who died in the spaghetto. May he rest in yeast๐Ÿ™๐Ÿปโค๏ธ

Wow! Im so glad so many people laughed at this joke, I got so much happy feedback from everyone lol thank u sm for all the rewards and upvotes, my week couldnt get better!๐Ÿ˜

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 18k
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/iLoveRaviolis
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 27 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Glad she found it
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 24
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Loki1783
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 10 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
I'm glad my cat is well trained and not aggressive

She's just purrfect or else it would have been a catastrophe.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Slymood
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 05 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
I used to be the triangle player in a Jamaican band but I had to quit....

It was always just one ting after another.

Edit: Thanks for all the positive reactions to this joke. Iโ€™m glad I could make a few of you chuckle today.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 11k
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/ThroneDiscs
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 12 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Orange you glad I didnโ€™t say banana.
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 64
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/thenotoriouswtf
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 19 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
I can't tell you all Japanese history in one joke...

But I can Samurais

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 5k
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/S0n0fRuss
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 24 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
How did the hamburger introduce his girlfriend?

Meet Patty.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 53
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/iTzbr00tal
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 16 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
My dad was glad when I told him all the people who would be on his roasting panel...

It really made his dais!

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/thomasbrakeline
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 22 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Wellllllllllllllllllllll.....
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 5k
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/mr_chanandler_bong_1
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 30 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
I was feeling depressed. So my wife put her hand on my shoulder and said "Earth."

That meant the world to me.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 135
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/bombsaway1083
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 08 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
The wife looked concerned when my son showed an interest in electricals at the age of 5.

He asked about the neutral wire.

I said "don't worry, its just a phase."

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 6
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/d3adeyeduck
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 22 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
My kid is at the point where they want to put bandaids on everything...

I swear this is a true organic dad joke I had tonight. Felt Iโ€™d share it with reddit.

My kid came up to me and says โ€œoh no, look dad, it needs a bandaidโ€ as she gently presents her imaginarily injured bouncy ball.

I looked at my kid and said โ€œI donโ€™t think it needs a bandaid, he looks like heโ€™s going to bounce backโ€

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 150
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/ruum-502
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 20 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
What similar to working at McDonaldโ€™s and being a archeologist in Athens

You will smell like ancient Greece

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 22
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/AidenAvocado
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 05 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Are we going to talk about this oar what?
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 626
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/olivercloseoff80
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 04 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Iโ€™m glad I donโ€™t drive.

With all of this โ€œcar owner virusโ€ going around

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 7
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/biltong17
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 02 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Ladies, if he can't appreciate your fruit jokes...

You need to let that mango.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 16k
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/__teju
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 20 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
There were no mines in Soviet Russia

They were called ours

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 6k
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/hessim20
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 12 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
After I was arrested, my ex-wife decided to hang a picture of my mugshot on the wall in her living room.

But she still won't admit she framed me.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 14k
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/DestroyatronMk8
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 02 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
I'm glad I didn't go with my awkward girlfriend for her plastic surgery consultation...

She picked her nose.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 10
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/thomasbrakeline
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 02 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Some guy on a tractor keeps driving past my house shouting, โ€œTHE END IS NIGH!!! THE END IS NIGH!!!โ€

It might be farmer Geddon.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 186
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/andersonfmly
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 23 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Glad we matured
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 168
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/genesiscreation7
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 29 2019
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Yesterday I fired my cleaner.

I'm glad that's done and dusted

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 18
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/northernsou
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 28 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
My dad is an Iraqi that worked for Glad.

I call him bagdad.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 12
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/SamOfSteeI
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Mar 13 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Its times like this Im very glad I can't drive

What with all this talk of car-owner virus

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/grc208
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 02 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
"I'm a strong supporter of the LTPO community...

(Lettuce, tomato, pickle, onion.)"

God dammit, dad.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/ASProtag
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 02 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
This guy stops in a second hand petshop looking for a last minute Christmas gift for his wife.

The shop owner directs him to a 1,500$ parrot who can sing Christmas carols. The man doesnt believe the store owner and asks him for proof before dropping the 1,500. The store owner locks the doors and escorts the man to the back of the store and tells him โ€œThis is a very special parrot, before he sings you must warm him up by holding a lit match 12 inches beneath.โ€ He then takes out a match, lights it and holds it a rulers length beneath the parrot. After a few moments the parrot starts sining โ€œjingle bellsโ€ in the tone of Frank Sinatra. Thinking this might be some cheap parlor trick he asks for several more demonstrations.. โ€œRudolphโ€ โ€œFrosty the Snowmanโ€ โ€œDrummer Boyโ€ even โ€œI Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clausโ€ in the best impersonations heโ€™s ever heard! The man gladly hands over the cash and rushes home to amaze his wife. He holds the match a rulers length and nothing. The wife laughingly says he got ripped off. โ€œ No no honey this works watchโ€ he does it again only holding it half a rulers length this time and still nothing! The wife, laughing hysterically, starts going back upstairs. โ€œNO honey it really works watch!โ€ โ€œIm going to bed, Merry Christmasโ€ says the wife as she turns to head up the stairs. โ€œWAIT Honey, one more time, please!โ€ He pulls out another match, this time holding it three inches under the parrot who then squawks out โ€œCHESTNUTS ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIREโ€

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Hipphazy
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 02 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Well glad sheโ€™s ok
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 659
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/chh147
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 26 2018
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
I'm so glad our Billy inherited his mother's intelligence

...and I got to keep mine.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 8
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/K0ilar
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Feb 26 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
My wife plays soccer with her hands.

She's a keeper.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 43
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/CyberOGa3
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 18 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Waiter: Iโ€™m glad you enjoyed your dinner. How did you find the steak?

Me: Super easy. It was right next to the potatoes.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 1k
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 24 2018
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
I got promoted at my job and my new office is up in a tree house.

I am a branch manager.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 160
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/FinalCaveat
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 25 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
The Rock announced that he, his wife, and their 2 daughters have recovered from Covid.

They first suspected they had it when no one could smell what he was cooking.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 373
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Scooter_Dooder
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 04 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
A while ago I thought my wife was going to leave me because of my bad posture.

It was just a hunch.

I talked to her about it, turns out I was wrong, and I stand corrected.

Iโ€™m really not sure what I was all bent out of shape about.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 36
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/giacal3
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 29 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
I was addicted to soap once.

Now Iโ€™m clean

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 11k
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/poorly_timed_fuck
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 07 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
So what does everyone think of my new tattoo
๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 36
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/CocoPopsGod
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 09 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff...

โ€œBa-dumm-Tsssโ€

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 11k
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/streety22
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 08 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
I'm really glad , I know sign language

It's pretty handy

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 21
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/HahaNotSoFunnycom
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 26 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
In spite of all our disagreements on Reddit, Iโ€™m really glad

That everyone reading this is on the same page.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 8k
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 26 2018
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.