What does a dyslexic war general use for his bad breath?

Guerrilla TicTacs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/southwoodhunter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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Sturgeon General’s Warning

β€œPlease don’t eat caviarβ€”it’s our children!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MGreenMN
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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What did the Commanding General of the United States Army say after having his budget approved?

Tanks for that.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
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General: "Fire at will!"

Soldier: "Which one's Will?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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Where does a General keep his Armies?

In his Sleevies!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BeachPeachMcgee
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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do you know why Obi-wan Kenobi is called general kenobi and not specific kenobi?

because the sith only deal in absolutes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/McCarty_Bedell
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
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I just got promoted to general manager at the aquarium!

I'm going to have a corner offish and everything!

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πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
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General Kitchy-Kitchy just led a military coup!

It's a Kitchy-Kitchy Koo

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zenpod
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
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Today I tried to get a job at a general labor temp agency but was told I didn't qualify.

I am only cleared for leiutenant labor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
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I like parks in general...

...but zoo are a sick park!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/operian
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
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It's weird how nobody knew who the Iranian general Soleimani was a few days ago...

It's like he blew up overnight.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aakshaj
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2020
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Did you hear about the army general who retreated from an army wearing sandals?

He was scared of defeat

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Inevitablenarwhal
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2020
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I work in a manufacturing mill. It's crazy how many General contractors you see

When I've never seen a single lieutenant or corporal contractor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/peon2
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
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What did the general say to their troops?

March 4th

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kevballs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
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Went to the gym and saw some guy working out dressed as General Grievous

He was working fourarms.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Subtle_Static
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2020
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How did the Samurai defeat the enemy General?

He hit him with "Ja-Pan"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Trainsylvania
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
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Why did the military general refuse to use social media?

It was his personal creed to never surrender or retweet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stooftheoof
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
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What did the General who lost both his arms, use to fight his wars?

His Leggies.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mcflufin
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
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Have you guys tried General Tso Tso's chicken?

It's alright.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrBeardOfDeath
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2020
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What did the German General say after the biggest battle in WW 1?

Verdun here...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ddgoodman92
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
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Did you hear about the French general who used a cannon to start his kitchen remodel?

It was linoleum blownapart

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Capt-Redbeard
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
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Are most rappers general contractors?

Because they’re always trying to raise the roof.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/beerdrinkerguy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2019
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Why couldn’t the Australian general win the war on bread?

Because it was stale, mate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/praesespilsbaas
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2017
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I went to a general store.

They wouldn’t let me buy anything specifically.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
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In college i thought General Calculus was a Roman war hero
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NameViolation666
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2019
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Did you hear about the Roman general who accidentally decimated his army?

It was one in ten dead.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sennome
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
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Civil war jokes? I general Lee don’t find them funny
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πŸ‘€︎ u/F1Fan_00
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2018
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Where does the general keep his armies

In his sleevies

No? Okay I’ll just go.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thy_jam_sandwich
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2018
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My Philipino wife kicked me out for my general McAurther impersanation. I told here I shall return.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFlom
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
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I don't have a problem with disability in general...

I'm just lack-toes intolerant.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/elokwins
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
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What did the general have up his sleeves

His armies!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andrew66655321
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Where does the General keep his armies?

In his sleevies..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/savagecheefer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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Where does the general keep his armies?

In his sleevies.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Atvian
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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Where did the General put this Armies?

In his sleevies.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tinnber
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
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Where do Generals keep their armies?

Up their sleevies.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlmostOuttaOrder
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Where does a General put his armies?

In his sleevies

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Corleone_Michael
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Where does the General keep his Armies?

In his sleevies.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kerfandrosSr
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Where does a general keep his armies?

In his sleevies

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πŸ‘€︎ u/googonite
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Where does the general keep his armies?

In his sleevies.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Where does the General keep his armies?

In his sleevies

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πŸ‘€︎ u/prasaadii
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Where does the General keep his armies?

Inside his sleevies

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ColoradoStark
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Where does a general keep his armies?

In his sleevies!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MaticusSparticus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Where does a General keep his Armies?

In his sleevies.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GregoryTheBlack
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2018
🚨︎ report
Where do generals keep their armies?

In their sleevies

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tolgayfrae
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Where do generals keep their armies?

In their sleevies!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/puggoamber
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
🚨︎ report

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