Remember when air was free at the gas station, now it’s $1.50. You know why?
I keep complementing my local gas station when training my dog.
I saw a woman at the gas station pumping gas and trying to light a cigarette
I went inside to pay and saw two policemen in the store. I said "Did you guys see that woman out there?" They looked outside and suddenly darted out the door. I turn and see she caught her arm on fire.
The policemen threw a blanket around her and wrestled her to the ground and put out the fire. Then they gave her a ticket!
After they came inside I asked why they gave her a ticket. Turns out she didn't have a license for that firearm.
Compressed air at gas stations used to be FREE, but now you have to pay $2!
Remember when you could go to gas stations and put air in your tires for free? Now it’s $1.75! You know why?
I ate some really spicy food at a gas station.
How come it used to cost a quarter to pump your tires at the gas station, and now it costs a dollar?
What's James Bond's favorite gas station
The CEO of a large gas station chain was arrested yesterday.
He was running a Shell corporation.
Why is the air for your tires at gas stations more expensive than it was 20 years ago?
I saw a woman once that was smoking a cigarette at a gas station while she filled her car. She pulled out the nozzle and gas shot everywhere and her arm was immediately engulfed in flames. She started waving it around and a cop saw it and shot her dead...
She was waving an illegal fire arm.
Whenever my dad goes to get gas he says “regular please” and when the gas station attendant (we live in Oregon) asks “fill?” my dad replies
“No, Fred, nice to meet you”
The guy working at the gas station was smoking a joint when I walked in...
That place has the highest customer service.
People who work in gas stations are lucky...
They've got a fuelfilling job!
We were driving across state over the holidays and my 4 year old tells us she has to pee. We just happened to be almost to an exit with several gas stations to take her. I proudly proclaimed ‘Urine luck! There are plenty of places to go at this exit!’ Sadly, I only got an eye roll from my wife.
I was at the gas station recently...
...and I noticed that the tire pressure was low.
Me: Can you hand me some quarters so I can pump up the tire?
Wife: $.75 right?
Me: No, it’s $1.00
Wife: Really??
Me: Yeah, that’s inflation for ya
Wife: 😒
The gas station had a summer sale on cigarettes.
It was a smoking hot deal!
I noticed the other day that you now have to pay to fill your tires with air at a gas station.
If I fart in a service station do they owe me money for gas?
What do you call getting your ex girlfriend horny in a gas station?
We used to be able to go to a gas station and pump our tires for free. Now it costs $1.50, you know why?
Inflation
(Actual joke told by my dad today)
I’m opening a gas station in the middle of nowhere...
EVERY TIME he goes to the gas station
Dad: I'm going to fill the car up with gas AND put fuel in the tank!
I drove past a gas station and I saw two signs posted "help wanted" and "self service".
So I walked in and hired myself.
A 'Rick Roll' sounds like a type of gas station sushi.
Remember, as a child, when air for your bike was free? Now it's $1.50! I asked the gas station attendant why.
reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…
A woman was at a gas station filling her car with gas
A woman was at a gas station filling her car with gas. She inserted the nozzle and began filling the car with gas. As she waited for the car to fill, she lit a cigarette and began to smoke it. The car clicked to indicate it was full of gas, and she pulled the filler out of the car. Some gas leaked out of the filler onto her sweater arm, and a spark from the cigarette lit her arm on fire. The woman began to scream for help, and waved her arm about trying to put the fire out. A highway patrolman who happened to be nearby ran over and saw the woman flailing about in pain. Without hesitation, he pulled his handgun out of the holster and shot her three times. A few weeks later in court, the judge asked the patrolman why on earth he shot that woman? The patrolman answers, "well your honor, she was waving around a firearm!"
Did you hear about the guy that caught his arm on fire at the gas station and was then arrested?
They said it was unlawful use of a fire-arm.
Today a lady at the gas station said she recognized me from vegetarian club
But… I’m sure I’ve never met herbivore
Went to the gas station today.
Started filling up tank with regular 87. Didn't sound right, so I pulled the nozzle out and see that it was just a bunch of shaving cream. Tried the mid grade: rubber snakes. Premium: Jimmy Kimmel canceled Christmas.
Dammit, April Fuels.
Complained to my dad about having to pay $1 at the gas station air pump...
"Don't be upset, you're just compensating for inflation."
:|
What do you call people who believe certain gas stations are responsible for terrorist attacks....?
I was at the gas station the other day and for some reason I just became very emotional...
I don't know why but I just started filling up
My son said he bought a box of goldfish at the gas station...
I didn't know the gas station sold aquariums.
Do you know why air pumps at gas stations used to be free but are now $1.50?
Remember when they used to have air at the gas station for free? Now it’s $1.50
Before air was free at the gas station, and now you have to pay for it? You know why?
Air used to be free at gas stations, now it's $1.50. Know why?
Air used to be free at gas stations, but now it costs $1.50...
Remember, as a child, when air for your bike was free? Now it's $1.50! I asked the gas station attendant why.
Remember when air for your tires was free at the gas station but now it costs $1...wanna know why?
Did you all notice you have to pay for air now at the gas station?
It’s because of inflation
Remember, as a child, when air for your bike was free? Now it's $1.50! I asked the gas station attendant why.
Why do gas stations sell air?
Because they are "gas" stations.
So a woman was smoking at the gas station the other day and her arm caught on fire
And while she was trying to put it out the police arrested her for "waving a firearm around."
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
