Bp Puns

At the BP station

It was called the Sherwood Florist

I think it’s BP.

The BP station.

My daughter looking at disney princesses: whos thay

Me: thats Ariel

Grand-dad: i didnt know they named princesses after antennas

Apparently they have a rule where your bps must be zero over zero or infinity over infinity.

It was looking for the BP station.

Mine are sand-witches

I'll walk myself out.

I'm an EMT and I was doing paperwork. My partner walks up to me with the vitals of a patient. BP was done with an automated cuff. Me: What's the blood pressure? Him: 165/95 Me: That's odd, heart rate? Him: 77 Me: Odd, respirations? Him: 16, is that odd too? Me: No, that's even.

I found it hilarious.

Dad: We're going to stop at this BP station. Cuz I be pee-in.

..and I said "this is Strange.."

As I was leaving the Home Depot today an elderly man likely in his 70's approached me and said,

"Hey young man I want to tell you something, you how they always see bees flying around gas stations?"

I didn't but I wanted to leave so I said "yes"

He says "Well they found out the bees are using the bathroom while they're flying around the gas station... And you know what their favorite gas station is?"

I say "Ummm nope"

He says "BP! Bee pee! You get it!"

I got a good laugh at that one and for some strange reason I feel that some number of years from now I will be trolling the Home Depot parking lot making Bee Pee jokes and someone will send me back in time to save dad joking for future generations and I will tell myself that joke for the first time today...

Whenever it's time for the bill he asks the waiter if he can get the bill flambé

I have only once seen a waiter/waitress actually laugh at this, most of the time they just seem either confused, annoyed or they manage a smile.

On our way back from the store, talking about how expensive it is to go out on real 'dates' (been together for a year or so)

>Her: We can come up with plenty of free-ways to have fun

>Me: Mhmm--

>Her: I mean, I-71 and I-75 are great, but we can think of more.

She stared at me for about 10 seconds, grinning until I realized what she was talking about.

My face never palmed so hard as she giggled mercilessly.

I work as a photographer at reasonably popular tourist spot, and over the Easter weekend we're all wearing bunny ears. A family came in: The Dad: "Mate you've got something on your head!" Me: Nah, that's just my hare (MFW)

Blank looks from the rest of the family, but their dad appreciated it.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-igwDxbb0Lj4/UrpJ_Po6BrI/AAAAAAAAAfA/usdwUoDfV7s/s1600/%2398+-+Poker.png

The Bee Pee (BP) station!

BP

The BP station.

At the BP station.

The BP station.

BP stations.

The BP station.