If you havent picked yet, take the other option. XBH challenge is actually impossible with him, perfect perfects arent even reaching the track on rookie

I thought the Ozzie Smith player program was bad, but good God - Gary Carter's is horrific just like his playing career. Give us a damn Molina program instead. Yeah, I'm a little cranky this morning lol.

There have been rumors of a possible expansion, so let’s imagine it does happen, but the NBA decides to only add one new team to the league (sorry Vegas), bringing back the beloved Seattle Supersonics. The Sonics are back babbyyyyyyyy!

Now the Sonics need to build their team from ground up, starting with the expansion draft, and following it with signing players in the off-season.

Here are some simplified terms of the expansion draft:

1. All 30 NBA teams will have the right to protect 8 players on their roster. Anyone on the current roster is protectable, including restricted free agents. If a restricted free agent is left unprotected by his former team, he is available for selection by the Supersonics, who would then hold his Bird Rights for the up-coming off-season. Teams will typically have 4-7 players unprotected. Unrestricted free agents can neither be protected from nor selected in the expansion draft -- they are essentially ignored.
   Players who are likely to be left unprotected by their former teams include aging, overpaid veterans, unproven bench players, players who do not fit in financially with their team, or who disrupt team chemistry.
2. The Sonics may only select 1 player per team.
3. The Sonics must work within 2/3 of the normal rules of the NBA salary cap, so there will be salary-related restrictions which apply to the team's selections. The team’s salary cap for the 2022-2023 season will only be 2/3 of the league cap (112.414 million), meaning 74.93 million. The minimum team salary is also 2/3 of the leagues' minimum team salary (101.173 million), meaning 67.449 million.
   The expansion draft occurs after the conclusion of the 2022 NBA Finals, but prior to the 2022 NBA Draft. The Sonics do not participate in the lottery, but automatically get the 5th and the 35th pick of the draft.
4. There are no restrictions on player positions during the draft.
5. The Sonics must select at least 14 players.
6. Here is a list of the players that each NBA team are, in my opinion, likely to protect, and a list of those who may be left unprotected (not all players are listed, but most of them, and all that have any chance of being drafted by an expansion team):

Atlanta Hawks:

Protected:

1. Trae Young
2. John Collins
3. Clint Capela
4. Kevin Huerter
5. De’Andre Hunter
6. Onyeka Okongwu
7. Bogdan Bogdanovic
8. Cam Reddish

Unprotected (Salary this year, Years left on the contract)

1. Jalen Johnson (2.6 million, 3 years)

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Natraya accepted the outstretched hand, startled at the restrained strength she could feel in the heavy fingers and the musculature that pulled her easily to her feet. She looked up at the lemur, able to feel how massive, how dense, how... solid it was with more than just her eyes and the lingering phantom sensation of her hand in its hand.

"OK, sister, first thing's first, you have any combat training?" the lemur asked.

Natraya shook her head. "No. I was a lady in waiting to a Lady Most High," she said softly.

The lemur nodded. "All right. That's fine," it said. It frowned. "Do you usually go clothed or is your fur enough for you, like some Pubvian nudist or a puffie?"

Natraya shook her head. "The creatures, they ripped my clothing from me," she said softly, hugging her self.

"Huh," the lemur said. It reached down, grabbed the sleeve of one of the Dwellers, and yanked up, dumping the naked body on the floor and lifting up the robe. "Too big," it said. It eyed Natraya in such a way that she instinctively covered her privates and her mammaries. The lemur gave a chuckle before it lifted up the robe, bit part of it, then ripped it in half. Fat purple sparks jumped free from the cloth, dissolving in midair in sparkles.

"Ew, tastes like tinfoil on the back fillings," the lemur said. It held out the robe. "Here, sister, try this."

"Why do you call me your female sibling?" Natraya asked, taking the robe and putting it on. The sleeves were too long and the lemur came back with one of the bladearms of a servitor and sawed off the excess.

"We're in this together, sister," the lemur said. "I don't know your name."

"Natraya," she said. "Lady in waiting to Lady Most High A'ama'arya."

"Huh. Weird name. Your lady's name sounds like a Tee-bug's name," the lemur said. "Are we doing name and titles?"

Natraya nodded. "Please. It will help me understand you."

The lemur laughed. "All right, sister, I'm Staff Sergeant Eric Carter, Earth Defense Force, Third Republic Combined Military Forces Army, eleven bravo, 19th Infantry Battalion, 8th Infantry Division, part of the orbital insertion forces from the Defiance of Sol."

"I have heard of 8th Infantry Division during

Welcome to the week 15 Official r/NFL Power Rankings! With an easy win over the Cardinals, did Detroit luck out or does Goff see red every time he...sees red? Did the Packers earn a close win, or like the Rams/Seahawks, did the refs tarnish yet another outcome? Discuss! 31/32 reporting.

With the recent litany of price check threads we’ve seen come through, I decided to look at the general publics rankings on KeepTradeCut and compare those to the experts from FantasyPros, Pro Football Focus and ESPN. Each of the experts have a weighted value that is then used to find the ECR; FantasyPros is weighted at 0.5, PFF is weighted at 0.3 and ESPN is weighted at 0.2. This is completely subjective, but I felt ESPNs were a bit out of date (maybe a month or so ago) hence they have the lowest weight.

I did my best to focus on fantasy relevant players and ignore the dart throws. Most notable difference in perceived value (both overvalued and undervalued) is at the QB position. The model score is just a simple calculation of KTC ranking minus the ECR number. Anyway, here is what the numbers say!

Overvalued Assets (Sell Indicator)

1. Amon-Ra St. Brown, WR, DET - This one hurts, but the experts aren’t nearly as high on the Sun God as the rest of the fantasy community. Sitting at 50 overall on KTC, PFF is actually higher on ARSB than us having him sitting at 41 overall; however, he is weighed down by the disrespect from PFF and FantasyPros being ranked 104 and 164 respectively. If you believe that guys who get paid to watch football and give opinions might have more insight than you, then this is a sell high. But if your like me, you tell them to eat shit and I’ll hold until I can’t hold no more. KTC #50; FP #104, PFF #41, ESPN #164. Model score: -47.1
2. Rashaad Penny, RB, SEA (?) - Son of a….another one of “my guys”. I do see the pessimism around Rashaad Penny though with his injury history and contract questions - KTC has him at 90 overall, but the weighted ECR puts him at 135 overall. Hopefully he can keep delivering the same value as he did down the stretch, or you can get yourself a pretty penny for the flash in the pan. KTC #90; FP #124, PFF #84, ESPN #241. Model score: -45.4
3. Josh Allen, QB, BUF - And we have our first (of many) QBs in this post. Josh Allen is incredible, there is no denying that - but in a 1 QB league he is currently sitting at 15 on KTC. I’m sorry, but QBs just don’t carry that much value. We’re talking about him in the neighborhood of guys like Tyreek Hill, Deebo Samuel, Jaylen Waddle, DK Metcalf and Davante Adams - all WR1s. KTC #15; FP #44, PFF #49, ESPN #55. Model score: -32.7
4. Elijah Mitchell, RB, SF - Elijah Mitchell was a savior for many a hobbled RB room this seaso

I’m wondering if there’s any SF out there that’s based on or similar to the canon of “real” alien visitation accounts such as the setting of the “extraterrestrial almanac”. Of course it’s complete fiction but I do like the combination of SF and spiritualism that the setting presents and I was wondering if there was any fiction out there with a similar setting and premise.

We all came to know Taylor Heinicke from his valiant effort in last year’s Wildcard round against the Buccaneers. In the time between that 23-31 playoff loss to Tampa and the 2018 season, Heinicke was the eleventh starting quarterback to take the field for the Redskins Football Team. And yet, in his single start as Washington's QB, he gained a devoted following of idealistic WFT fans / NFL meme enthusiasts. Honestly, I was pretty disappointed that Alex Smith was decided as the starter over Taylor for week 17 last year after Heinicke’s impressive garbage-time debut against the Carolina Panthers.

Since Heinicke took over the starting job, not a game has gone by without the casters bringing up his path to the WFT. In short, it goes a bit like this:

• 4 year starter at Old Dominion University, dad passed away during his freshman year
• Set FCS record in Sophomore year with 730 passing yards in one game
• Had ONE NFL coach attend his pro day - Scott Turner, at the time QB coach of the Minnesota Vikings
• Signs with Vikings practice squad, gets released after severing foot tendon kicking in glass
• bounces between Patriots, Texans, Panthers between 2015-2019
• Signs as a BACKUP for the XFL St. Louis Battlehawks in 2019, which folded due to COVID19.
• Returns to school for his degree in Mathematics, signs with Washington on Dec. 8th as a practice squad “COVID quarterback”
• Between Alex Smith’s bionic leg, Kyle Allen’s dislocated ankle, and Dwayne Haskins dogshit performance and unprofessionalism (including a maskless stripper party the SAME NIGHT he and the WFT lost to the Seahawks 20-15), Heinicke finally got some playing time in the 4th quarter after Haskins stunk it up yet again vs Carolina.

From there, you all probably know the rest - he put on a hell of a show for the country against Tampa last year, but ultimately **Washington opted to sign Ryan Fitzpatrick to take the helm

Last week, me and my working fingers brought you a Wild Card Mailbag, replete with all the gimmicks and gags that drew some of you into the BS vortex to begin with. I'm grateful for the rave reviews I received from a lot of you, but more importantly, I'm grateful that we ended up on the plus side last week despite my stupid, stupid, stupid Steelers pick (more on that later). Now we're entering the Divisional Round, where Bill's most recent column covered the growing rift between Bill Belichick and Tom Brady back in early 2018 that Simmons took very seriously, giving full respect and credit to journalist Seth Wickersham for his reporting, which turned out to be accurate on almost every count.

Wait, no, just kidding, he lampooned Wickersham, and questioned most of his claims, for eight paragraphs. And then the Pats blew the Super Bowl (to Nick Foles, whom Bill refers to in this article as "Farson Wentz," because he's a farcical Carson Wentz, great joke)...and then Brady and Belichick rode a Dee Ford netural zone infraction to the Super Bowl...and then Brady threw a pick-6 (on his last pass as a Patriot) to the nobody-believes-in-us Titans...and then Brady won a much less fluky title with the Bucs last season. Oh, and, once again, Wickersham nailed the piece and Bill decided to johnny-come-lately it and pretend like he had always accepted Wickersham's version of events. Not true. The internet is forever, Billy boy.

I spend this time dragging Simmons a bit because that seems to be exactly what you heathens want. Earlier this week I opened up my DMs to you, the r/billsimmons faithful, to share your own mailbag questions. I'm going to keep your identities secret (names and towns below will be fake; questions will be real), but it's probably no secret to you that the primary topic of conversation was laughing at those same Patriots whom Wickersham reported on those four short years ago.

I heard all week about Belichick's genius defensive gameplan being the x factor in Pats/Bills. Then the Bills offense took the field.

--Patrick, Ohio

This was hilarious. I remember listening to Nora on the Ringer NFL Show suggesting that he might just have some kind of magic solutio

https://www.bigblueview.com/2021/12/27/22854443/giants-vs-eagles-kudos-wet-willies-review-lorenzo-carter-jake-fromm-mike-glennon

saints preserve us

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

There was that r/nfl post about how the Cowboys have been in the playoffs 11 times without making it to the conference championship (The longest streak in NFL history) and it got me thinking what’s been the consistent factor besides Jerry and his family throughout this time?

Since the Switzer era ended in 97, we've been to the playoffs with 5 seperate coaches: Gailey, Parcells, Phillips, Garrett, and McCarthy. I took a look back through all those games and one of the most consistent factors in most of these games was slow starts and not being ready to play.

Lets look at the playoff games:

-98 WC vs Arizona: Cards score early and often. Ultimately have a 20-0 lead before we score a garbage time TD leaves it at 20-7.

-99 WC at Minnesota: a fast start! Jump out to a 3-0 and 10-3 lead before ultimately getting blown out. Fwiw, the vikings were up 17-10 at the half so our fast start didn’t carry very long

-03 WC at Carolina: Parcells first playoff game with us. Immediately go down 13-0 before ultimately losing 29-10. Quincy Carter was at QB in this game, we really stood no shot regardless but it was a slow start nonetheless.

-06 WC at Seattle: the Romo fumble game. Trail for most of the first half before taking the lead at the end of the second quarter. I still count this as a slow start because Seattle was literally signing guys off the street to play corner (hard knocks legend Pete Hunter) for them and we didn’t take advantage of it at all in the first half.

-07 Divisional Round vs the Giants: immediately let the Giants go right down the field and score on a long pass to Toomer to take a 7-0 lead. We're able to get back into it in the second quarter but we all know how this ends.

-09 WC vs the Eagles: A fast start leads to the first playoff win in 13 years

-09 Divisional Round vs the Vikings: Vikings jump out to a big lead. Romo runs for his life the whole game.

-14 WC vs the Lions: fall quickly down 14-0. Rally to ultimately win, but a very, very ugly start.

-14 Divisional Round vs the Packers: Rodgers goes down the field immediately and takes a 7-0 lead on their first drive. We’re able to get momentum back but the season ends in misery on the Dez catch.

-16 Divisional Round vs the Packers: get an early FG but the Packers score on their first three drives to take a 21-3 lead. One of the worst starts I can remember.

-19 WC vs the Seahawks - decent start with a back and forth that ultimately Dallas pulls out

-19 Divisional Round

Most common fantasy negotiations that get nowhere:

The bully method: Insult someone for not taking/not considering someone

Ex: “You’re dumb as fuck for not taking Tim Patrick for Waddle”

The Deconvincing Method: Shit on a player you’re trying to acquire

Example: “Saquon is always injured and is on a terrible team why won’t you trade him to me for Michael Carter?”

The Market Test: Put a player up for sale then not have anything in mind

Example:

Person A: “Yo who wants ____?”

Person B: “I’m interested”

Person A: “Make me an offer”

The Hype: Try to make a player seem like they’re good when they’re obviously not

Example: “Kenyan Drake will be HEAT next year!”

The downplaying the loss of the player to the team: Telling someone that their team is fine off without a player no matter how good said player is. Usually accompanied previously by letting someone know that you feel your offer is fair and that you won’t pay any higher than the price

Example: “Reagor + a 2023 1st for Chase is a fair offer, you have nothing to lose”

The Robber Method: Throw out a more than obviously bad deal that the opposing side will (likely) not even consider accepting

Example: “I’ll send you Bryan Edwards and I’ll toss in Lutz for JT”

The “Help”: Explaining to the other person that their team is garbage and how accepting the trade will be helping them, not hurting them.

Example: “Your team sucks ass, let me make it a little better by saucing Devante Parker for picks”

The Mindless Inquiry: Inquiring about a player when the owner has shown zero interest in moving said player

Example:

Person A: “Gibson and a 2nd for Najee?”

Person B: “No I have no interest in moving Najee”

As fans, we've been extremely excited to watch the growth of our rookies especially since Sharpe and Edwards were inserted into the starting lineup. The eye test is showing great results, and I wanted to see if the numbers match it. Now that there is going to be an extended period of time without KD, I wanted to see what we have to look forward to. Here are some of the results.

All stats are being taken from Cleanin The Glass which filters out heaves and garbage time. I also took it upon myself to remove lineups with guys like Galloway, David Duke, Ennis, Bruce, Jevon Carter, and basically everyone that isn't part of our actual rotation going forward. Bruce was my cutoff because it seems Bembry took his spot. It didn't seem necessary to see those lineups as this is about a projection of our actual team going forward:

= = = = =

Lineups featuring Harden/Durant/Edwards/Sharpe:

• Lineups featuring those 4 players have a point differential of +30.
• They're currently maintaining an average of 140 pts per 100 possessions.
• They foul their opponents an average pace of 11.8 times per game, which is 99th percentile.

These stats get a little crazy:

With these lineups, we're shooting 75% at the rim, 50% from long-2 and 54.5% from 3 (60% from the corners).

Given that Kevin Durant is going to be out for a while, I wanted to look at some stats WITHOUT Kevin Durant.

= = = = =

Lineups featuring at least Harden/Sharpe/Edwards and no Durant:

• Lineups featuring those 4 players have a point differential of +16.3.
• They're currently maintaining an average of 124 pts per 100 possessions.
• They have an offensive reounding % of 37.5% which would be 100th percentile.
• The power of these lineups are in the halfcourt offense and off of putbacks/offensive boards.

We're scoring an average of 104 points per 100 possessions in the half court and 120pts per 100 putback plays. They score an average of 27.3 points a game off of offensive boards and generate 21 extra plays per 100 misses off of the offensive glass.

= = = = =

Lineups featuring Day'Ron Sharpe and no Durant

• Lineups featuring Day'Ron Sharpe have a point differential of +13.3.
• They're maintaining an average of 118.8 points per 100 possessions.
• They're holding teams to an average of 105.6 points per 100 possessions.

This is where the number shine. [Our second change points from offensive boar

Welcome back to the Rookie Report! We’ve finally arrived at the week we’ve been waiting for – Championship Week! Hopefully your squads have survived the rigors of the season, and the multitude of injury and Covid-19 absences in recent weeks to make it this far. Hopefully you didn’t get Tee Higgins’d, or Justin Jackson’d or Rex Burkhead-ed last weekend. Week 16 served as a valuable reminder that it doesn’t matter what your team did for the first 15 weeks of the season. What matters is what they do this week. Don’t completely throw caution to the wind and bench your best players, but don’t be afraid to think a little outside the box this week.

I want to emphasize, this week of all weeks, not to take the headers below as gospel. Please consider your league rules and what your roster looks like when applying any of the advice below. Don’t start Rhamondre Stevenson over a back like Ronald Jones or Chase Edmonds, or Amon Ra-St. Brown over receivers like Michael Pittman or Brandin Cooks just because I said I’d lean towards starting them. Put it in the context of your team and make the decision that makes the most sense for your roster.

A couple of quick notes for the players listed below – All players listed under the same header at the same position are listed in the order that I would play them this week, and all points per game numbers and points allowed rankings are based on half-PPR scoring unless otherwise noted. Let’s dive into week 17…

Rookies You Already Know You Should Start:

RB Najee Harris, PIT (Wk. 17: vs. Cle.): The Browns aren’t a great matchup for running backs, allowing the 10th-fewest running back points per game, but Najee has scored a dozen or more fantasy points in 12 of his 15 games this season, including 19.5 points in his first meeting with the Browns. He has to be in your lineup this week if you have him.

WR Ja’Marr Chase, CIN (Wk. 17: vs. KC): Chase got back on track in week 16 with his first 100-yard game since October, and that should give you the confidence you need to fire him up Sunday. The Chiefs aren’t a pushover on defense, allowing the 11th-fewest WR points per game and ranking 13th in Football Outsiders’ pass defense DVOA stat, but they’re hardly a matchup to run away from. The Bengals have been more pass-heavy in recent weeks (Joe Burrow has averaged 35.5 attempts in the last 4 weeks after averaging 30.8 prior to that), and they’ll likely have to throw in this one as 5-point underdogs. We’ve seen that the floor

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

 

 

 

 

Stadium Type:Op

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Mathematical puns makes me number

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

Regardless of whether or not Tyrod plays, Cooks is in for a really tough matchup this week. I’m not sure if Ramsey has been staying on one side of the field or if he’s following a specific receiver so if he is following a specific player, that’s players gonna be Cooks right? At that point, should Cooks be benched?

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.