Learn GALUMPH Meaning, Etymology, Antonyms and Synonyms
Learn GALUMPH Meaning, Etymology, Antonyms and Synonyms
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Do you know the history and correct usage of the rare English word GALUMPH? In this learn English through weird and wonderful words and vocabulary class, I am going to show you the beauty of this weird and useful word of GALUMPH.? In this learn English through weird and wonderful words and vocabulary class, I am going to show you the beauty of this weird and useful word of GALUMPH.
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So, I made a post recently about my 40 year old uncle being the Family Kevin (and tumor), and some of you wanted to know more about him. You also asked if he has a job or children: he currently has one of his first jobs right now and has no children. Some of you also said that you don't think he's a Kevin but more of a general asshole, which, yes he is an asshole but he's also a Kevin at the same time. SO, without further ado, fuckle your seatbelts for more on Uncle Kev:
- Has 0 concept of time. Kevin will ALWAYS be SUPER late to something no matter what, so if you need him to be somewhere on time, you have constantly circle him like a shark and make sure he's actually getting ready. You can't just tell him he has to be somewhere in the morning the night before (because it's in one ear and out the other), oh no, you have to bang on his bedroom door, make sure he's awake and make sure he's doing everything to get ready. THEN when it's time to go, you have to constantly yell at him to hurry up.
- "Have you tried lying about the time?" No, and that's because it wouldn't matter. You'd still have to do this just to get his ass out the door.
- Thinks cleaning is just pouring water on things and sloppily wiping it up with paper towel. We're honestly not sure why he does this, and no matter how many times we've told him "there's disinfectant spray, you're just making a mess and wasting paper towel and water" he like...can't compute. Like, you know how you can look in someone's eyes and you just KNOW that no neurons fired? YEAH. It severely pissed off my younger brother, because he's in charge of keeping the kitchen clean (which is something he really likes to do) and Uncle Kev will galumph in after it's sparkling clean, pour water on the counters/tables/stove, and then poorly wipe it up.
- He doesn't sleep at night because of all the copious amounts of coffee he drinks throughout the day and then sleeps all day. He often gets headaches because of this, but he was convinced that my grandparents (who he was living with up until they passed away suddenly) were the cause. They smoked outside the house and he thought the smoke was seeping into the house through the cracks and giving him migraines. He'd throw tantrums every time my grandparents would smoke outside and even did it when they weren't smoking at all. He still didn't put two and two together.
- When he takes a shower, the bathroom is DESTROYED. He just CAN'T step in the shower, wash, and then get
I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
---Leviathan Power---
I awake to a rainbow of iridescent feathers clouding my vision.
I pull my head out from under Qorak’s wing and hop down from our perch.
“Computer, repeat?” I ask, blearily.
The computer answers in an uncharacteristically urgent tone “I say again, 37 separate messages detailing various disperate descriptions of a, hitherto, undetermined emergency have been logged within the last [66 minutes]. All attempts to identify the source and nature of the emergency and resolve it, without crew intervention, have failed. Most appropriate course of action determined to be: raise the Captain and advise her to gather Security Officers and the Engineering Lead to seek out the source and nature of the emergency and attempt to resolve it.”
My stomach drops.
I turn to Qorak, his face a mask of dread and his beautiful plumage wilting too, momentarily seeming almost as drab as my coat of matte grey, white and black.
I run to him and throw my wings around him and in as soothing a voice as I can manage, while conveying the urgency, I say “Seal the door when I’m gone, do not open it under any circumstances for anyone but me, even if I’m taken hostage and they threaten to kill me, that door stays shut. Do you understand me?”
Stammering, he says “B-but-I-you-but-if-th-they…”
I snap “Do you UNDERSTAND ME?!”
He slumps “Yes, my okla…”
I tenderly tap the side of my beak against his and, looking down into his eyes, I say “Thank you, sweetfruit…”
As I leave he calls out, desperately “Come back to me, Tcakqaal… don’t allow our daughter to grow up never having met her mother!”
Without turning I answer “I don’t intend to!”
---some [minutes] later---
*plap* *plap* *plap* *plap**plap**plap* *plap* *plap* *plap* *plap**plap**plap*
“So, what do the reports say?” asks Engineering Lead Kwijj, against the steady pitterpatter of her twelve, gel coated manipular-perambulatory tentacles on the Bridge Deck Corridor.
Jogging beside her, I answer “The…*huff*…common theme is that…*huff*…they describe being… *gah*…woken by…*huff**huff*…a ‘terrifying noise’…could you slow down?!”
Her single eye wheels down to mine without her forward momentum breaking. “I’m sorry, Captain. It really sounds like we don’t have time! None of the Triple Ms responded to c
... keep reading on reddit ➡Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.
THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB
Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"
I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual
So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes
r/unclejokes for dirty jokes
r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC
r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes
Punchline !
Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub
Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat
The doctor says it terminal.
Do your worst!
How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?
We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.
Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.
But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.
They were cooked in Greece.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
He lost May
Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.
Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?
Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"
Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
