My wife hates when she takes off her dark socks and has fuzz between her toes.

She's black toes intolerant.

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👤︎ u/tgpo
📅︎ Sep 24 2020
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Nectarines are peaches without fuzz. Alopecia is hair loss. So...

Are Nectarines Alo-peaches?

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👤︎ u/ilikegar
📅︎ Oct 26 2016
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Help give my pet rabbit a job title

Chief of Hoperations? Director of fuzz? Give me your best, most official sounding titles.

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👤︎ u/jstew96
📅︎ Apr 30 2020
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I got a job grooming police horses

I hate working with the fuzz... But it's a stable job.

👍︎ 55
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📅︎ Jan 01 2020
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Double dad

So, my sister is having her final tests on high school (I'm in college and have a really cute son with my girlfried) and got home today with a weird look on her eyes. Me and dad were having some sandwiches and watching The Empire Strikes Back (Star Wars marathon hype!). I looked at her and asked what happened, she immediately responded "I'm tired as fuck." By that point, I looked at my dad. He was looking at me, with a sparkle on his eyes. We both stood up, walked to her and said together: "HELLO TIRED AS FUCK, WE ARE DAD" Even my mother started laughing. It was hillarious.

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📅︎ Dec 07 2015
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What do you call it when a cop gets his head shaved?

A fuzz buzz

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📅︎ Oct 28 2018
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Husband's first dad joke as a new dad.

Context: Our 3 month old son had some cotton/fuzz/lint stuck between his fingers from a newer pair of pajamas. I was trying to keep his hands out of his mouth because I didn't want him eating the cloth particles.

Husband came out with this: Leave him alone LDJD. He has to get his fiber. Get it, fiber?

groans

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👤︎ u/ldjd
📅︎ Feb 28 2014
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Dancer Names

As a father of three, by far my favorite Dad Joke has to be claiming things as my "Dancer Names". I have at least one or two a week.

It's whenever someone says something in conversation which sounds like it could be a Stripper name. Off the top of my head, here are some I've used:

"Yummy Cupcakes", "Pansy Taboo", "Stamen Fuzz", "Dark Almond", "Squeeze Bacon", "Bolt Upright"

I'll often follow it up with a hint as to what that show may just be like.

Guy on television: "The bee is now covered in stamin fuzz..."

Me: "'Stamen Fuzz' is my dancer name. Quite a show; not for the allergic."

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📅︎ Nov 15 2014
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