Is this sub still active?
Haven't seen anyone post all year!
(Happy New Year from Australia everyone!)
On the way to the therapist, I told my wife, “You are going to bring up my obsession with predicting the future, aren’t you?”
She said, “Yeah.”
I said, “I knew it!”
The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar
And things got a little tense.
Lets go back to the future!
You can use ketchup to tell the future
In Heinzsight you probably can't
A Solid Future
I told my son he should be a cement contractor. I told him that field has a solid future.
The Pasta, Present and Future [OC]
I really don't see much future for Advent Calendars
It feels like their days are numbered.
Finally got around to watching the whole “Back to the Future” trilogy!
The light of my life, a future dad:
The most important question before choosing your future wife ...
Where do fat people go when they want to see into the future?
I didn't put my watch back this weekend, so I'm living in the future.
If there's anything you want to know, about what's going to happen, just ask me.
Doctor I think I’ve gained the ability to see into the future
It all started next Tuesday
If pronouncing all my "V"s like "B"s, makes me sound Russian...
I thought I saw Michael J Fox at my local garden centre.
I'm not sure if it was him, though, as he had his back to the fuchsias
What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K?
In far future, in a robot-only disco, one of the dancers suddenly shuts down.
The doctor arrives and after a quick inspection he calms the crowd:
“Don’t worry, he just got disco-nnected.”
What do you call a scandal concerning a rich engineer where the list of accusations only gets longer and longer over time?
If you time travel to the future and get decapitated-
You really are a head of your time
To the people who haven’t gone to the toilet in 2021
Why are you still holding onto last year’s shit?
Why did The Joker have to sleep with his lights on?
Because he was afraid of the Dark Knight.
—
My 9yr old son just told me this 🤪
In the future, historians will call 2020 the Hindsight year because we have clearly seen it all
Good punmanship is an investment in your future
When the past, present, and future go camping they always argue.
It's intense tense in tents
I once had a dream about the future
There was milk in the fridge
Your mother couldn’t believe that an actual skunk could predict the future.
But it was a real fortune smeller.
Just got this one from my 90 year old grandma: when does a joke become a dad joke?
... when it is full groan!
(Glad she still has her sense of humor at her age; gives me hope for my future!)
In the future...
In 1,000 years, snails will evolve into being an advanced civilization. They will develop their own advanced technologies. In an effort to increase their mobility, they will equip their shells to be modular vehicles called Snail Cars, S-Car for short. Since snails do not have upper extremities, controlling the cars will be voice activated. The initiation command would be, "S-Car, GO!" 😂🤣
Training for dad level jokes.
My wife is pregnant with our first child so I'm stepping up my joke game to reach dad level.
Mother's day was not so long ago, and since she isn't a mother yet but only a future mother, I didn't get her flowers I only got her seeds, which are future flowers.
At least I found it hilarious and so did she. Hope you guys enjoy this!
I asked my dad if I can be a history major,
He said, “Don’t. There’s no future in it.”
My future boss asked if i could perform under pressure.
I said "No, but I can do a great Bohemian Rhapsody"
So it's 2021 now, then 2022, and then 2023.
I guess the vision for the future is getting worse.
I was watching back to the future and I am amazed at how well they hold up.
They truly were ahead of their time
My friend sold all his AMC shares...
He says he couldn't cinema future growth :(
In the future it will be possible to incubate humans in artificial uteri. If you want yours in the one by the window, it will be more expensive.
After all, it always costs more for a womb with a view.
My dad invented a belt made of herbs that takes you 5 minutes into the future.
It took 6 minutes to put on. It was a waist of thyme
The past, present, and future walked into a bar...
The future, the present and the past walked into a bar,
Things got a little tense.
The past, present and future walk into a room.
A Solid Future
I told my son he should be a cement contractor. I told him that field has a solid future.
The future, the present and the past walked into a bar
Things got a little tense
If you time travel to the future and get decapitated-
You really are a head of your times
The past,The present and The future entered a bar
Past, present and future walked into a bar.
The past, present and future walk into a bar
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