And then you will all be sorry.
Me: Can we change the subject?
My wife: Okay. More chores around the house need to be done by you.
It was a tense moment.
You'd be ahead of your time
He said I hope you take the rest of her too!!
A tarot-dactyl
Things got a little tense.
Absolutely nothing.
My wife has been teaching my son to fold his own laundry but he complains about it everytime. My wife, trying to convince my son, said to him "If you pick up this habit, your future wife will love you very much."
My son replied "I don't want my future wife to love me very much. I want my future wife to help me fold my laundry."
I busted out laughing. But the end result is that now I have to fold my own laundry going forward.
They read a horror-scope.
The doctor asks, "When did this start?"
Patient replies, "Next Tuesday"
Haven't seen anyone post all year!
(Happy New Year from Australia everyone!)
It's a Procrastinator.
She said, “Yeah.”
I said, “I knew it!”
Less minimalism is more
It's his cool n' aryan future!
Now I have lettuce after my name.
In Heinzsight you probably can't
I told my son he should be a cement contractor. I told him that field has a solid future.
It feels like their days are numbered.
It’s about time.
Which is witch ?
When I walked in the place was great, everything was perfect apart from the kitchen. There were gas mains but no cooker! Work surfaces and water pipes, but no sink; empty plugs and spaces for where the fridge and freezer should sit.
When I bought the house I was told it was fully furnished! Furious, I called up intending to give whomever answered an earful.
I was told that everything should be arriving individually, and the house is being used as an experiment for completely autonomous, self thinking kitchen appliances!
Before I could reply there was a knock on the door. I opened it and a stove strolled in, tilted forward in a bow, slid past me and set itself into its spot! Even attaching itself to the gas mains!
Later that day another knock at the door signalled the arrival of the fridge and freezer.(who had travelled together) They bowed and sat themselves perfectly in place in my new kitchen. I was beaming!
That evening I was explaining to my wife how the appliances had arrived, when came another knock at the door. “This technology is going to change the world, I swear it!” I told her. “Can you answer the door? I’ve been on my feet all day”
“Yeah,” she replied, less enthusiastic than I,“but it’ll get to a point when humans are completely inferior.” She explained “When these machines develop such sentience, what’s stopping them from overthrowing us?” “Treating us as slaves, like we to them now?” She asked, distraught at theses ideas.
Knock knock
“It’s best not to worry about these things,” I said in an attempt to alleviate her fears.
“There are people- professionals developing contingencies for any possible future robot uprising!” “That future you’re frightened about is purely science fiction right now, and the way our collective knowledge and application of technology has advanced, (Even in the past 50 years!) our own scientists and engineers will be able to crush any worries we may have when the time comes.” I explained.
She sighed, agreeing somewhat reluctantly. “Don’t think on it now, have some faith!” I told her.
Knock knock
“Now let that sink in!”
Then Soviet
A Four chin teller
If there's anything you want to know, about what's going to happen, just ask me.
It all started next Tuesday
He said "Well, you should probably avoid those places in the future."
The doctor arrives and after a quick inspection he calms the crowd:
“Don’t worry, he just got disco-nnected.”
Because he was afraid of the Dark Knight.
—
My 9yr old son just told me this 🤪
I'm not sure if it was him, though, as he had his back to the fuchsias
At least for the four-seeable future.
It was very tense.
And things got a little tense.
Things got a little tense.
It was tense
I told my son he should be a cement contractor. I told him that field has a solid future.
Things got a little tense
You really are a head of your time
You really are a head of your times
