Foresees Puns

I'm looking for the moth-meme prophecies

Nostrildamus

Couldn’t foresee the C4.

Foresees a jolly good fellow.

He suggested I use "former Chairman of the Federal Reserve, Alan Greens-pan".

the Japanese Olympic Track and field team, in typical Asian make-every-thing-harder-to-do-than-it-has-to-be fashion have announced that hey are sticking by their regimen of only using malformed, decade-and-a-half old, equipment rigged to pop out of the course unexpectedly in order to secure their hopes of Olympic glory. While this may seem counter intuitive, Kadauo Osakamizu, a analyst for the team claims there is actually a historic cultural precedent for the odd exercises. In a quote, Mr. Osakamizu insists that the idea is that "if the team can excel with such sub-par materials, executing wins when the equipment is good should be of little concern."

So it seems that at least for the foreseeable future, Japan will be pinning their hopes on Teenage, Mutant, Ninja Hurdles.

The trial has been going on for over 12 days now and we thought you guys should know what we are doing. After reading your comments and messages it looks like you guys like the sub as a self-posts only sub, so the mods have decided, after throughly discussing it, that it is a good idea to remain this way for the foreseeable future.

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So I'm due to be a dad in the next week or so, and I have been putting off learning some good dad jokes and I'd like to have some prepared for the foreseeable future since I need these til I pass on or go senile. But that's in Africa so I don't think I'll ever senile. (1st attempt?)

My sister was showing off her new iPhone to my dad and me, since she finally broke her old phone after owning it for two years. I asked what happened to the old phone.

Sis: "Oh, I dropped my 4c and it broke the screen."

Me: "So you didn't foresee it happening?"

She rolled her eyes. My dad laughed, I laughed. I asked what she upgraded to.

Sis: "I got a 6s, it's the newest model."

Me: "So your day was a success?"

My sister was not pleased, but my dad was losing it, and he shook my hand. I think I have his blessing to become a dad.