My coworker has to drink alkaline water to prevent IC flare-upsβ€”the higher the pH the better.

That’s so basic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jjazzy1990
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
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I have this disease where I can’t stop signaling to planes for help.

The doctor told me my symptoms are flaring up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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What is your favorite dad joke?

My personal favorite is: "Hey did you hear about the guy who got his whole left side cut off?" "Oh, don't worry. He's all right now."

It lets you add a lot of different flare, especially if you're looking at your phone and you make it sound like a news story or something.

So what's your favorite dad joke?

EDIT: Thank you everyone, I've gotten a good chuckle out of all of these! It's been a rough couple of days, but these all cheered me up. I'm going to be recycling them... My girlfriend eyes are gonna be rolling overtime tonight. I'd feel sorry, but my girlfriend probably doesn't want me feeling anyone but her.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cawblade
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2015
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Dad Tells Rope Joke

My dad always told this joke when I was a kid and just curious to see if anyone's heard it:

So this piece of rope walks into a bar and says "Bartender, give me a whiskey"

Bartender says "we don't serve pieces of rope here, get out!"

so the piece of rope leaves and comes back and this scenario plays out 10 more times.

Finally the piece of rope slinks up to the bar and says "Bartender give me a whiskey!"

the Bartender denies him again and throws him out.

the piece of rope ties himself up, flares out his edges and strides back in one more time and shouts "Bartender give me a whiskey!"

the Bartender says "aren't you that same piece of rope I keep throwing out of here!"

Piece of Rope says "Nope, I'm afraid not" (a frayed knot)

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ‘€︎ u/RafterRaptor
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2015
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