Flanks Puns

His Asgard.

With a cowculator

Ground beef

I said "No, it doesn't".

So, on Sunday my wife and I were making stir fry for lunch after church. I chopped up some flank steak and test fried a piece in the wok, pulled it out, cut it in two, and we each tried a piece to see how it tasted (in case it needed more ginger or garlic or oyster sauce). This conversation happened.

My wife: (enjoying the flavor) How do couples where one person is a vegetarian handle meals?

Me: I guess the man has a help meet for him like Adam.

Her: I'm being serious, how do they do it.

Me: I know, right? People get married for lots of carnal knowledge.

Her: (annoyed) All kidding aside, I'm curious how people make that work.

Me: Give me some time to flesh out my argument, and I'm sure I can find a couple that hasn't butchered their relationship.

Flank steak.

I was talking to my boys about what organs they have.

"And another interesting fact, when you're born you have four kidneys but when you become an adult you end up with only two."

My wife piped in from the kitchen, "Really? I didn't know that."

"Yeah. See, (pointing to my oldest sons flank) you start with one here and one here." Then pointing at his legs, "and one here and one here. But when you grow up, these last two become adult-knees!"

She tried to groan but her laugh got the best of her.

Platooning with a clanmate (Flank) and talking on Teamspeak.

>Me: Nice job Flank! You haven't lost any health!

>Flank: I have a good health plan.

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