The bathroom fixtures delivery man is here, honey!

Let that sink in

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotA_Drug_Dealer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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You can order bathroom fixtures online and have someone at you door in a couple days ready to install it,

Just let that sink in

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KyloWrench
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
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Bathroom fixtures can't catch the virus.

Let that sink in.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rosenking
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2020
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My mom called me saying there were a couple of guys outside her home saying they have a plumbing fixture to drop off.

β€œThey’re not trying to rob me?” she asked.

β€œNo, it’s a gift from Uncle Bill to make up for all the mean things he did to you in the past.” I replied.

β€œWait, after all these years, he’s actually trying to be nice to somebody? That’s an unexpected transformation! Our relationship might well change if I agree to take it!”

β€œYeah! Let that sink in.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Buttery_Hamwater
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
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It's so interesting watching How it's Made to see how they connect some of these fixtures together.

It's just riveting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chrisazy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
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Authorities in Louisville, Colorado report the theft of bathroom fixtures in the city's only police station.

Officers say they have nothing to go on

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ColoThor
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2017
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Home Improvement

Adding new fixtures to the doors in my house has really helped me get a handle on things

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πŸ‘€︎ u/borothy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2019
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Out dad-joked my dad.

Walked into my parents house today to find that my father had replaced three ordinary light fixtures with ceiling fans.

Me- "dad you should really look at selling the house, it is more popular than ever."

Dad- "Why do you say that?"

Me- "Because it has more fans than ever."

Dad (after laughing more than I had ever heard him laugh) - "I wish I thought of that!"

πŸ‘︎ 994
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πŸ‘€︎ u/smurugger
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2014
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Dads working together.

I work with another dad, and all day we trade off dad jokes cracking each other up. This one is from yesterday

Paul (the other dad) was asking about a new fixture we had at work. it was explained it was a highly sensitive camera used to test the polarity of magnets. I then came around the corner and Paul wanted to tell me about it.

Paul: "This is a new thing from Ancestry.com. I can stand by it and it will tell me what percentage Polish I am"

Me: Wow, although I have a similar thing right inside of me. My stomach can tell me how Hungry I am!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kendred13
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2015
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Security Guard's Repeating Joke

I’m not sure, but I think this belongs here:

I work night shift as a unit clerk at a hospital, and there is this one old security guard who goes on rounds to every unit. He always stops at my desk and cracks really cheesy, cringe-worthy jokes. He has this one awful (awesome?) knee-slapper that seems to be a permanent fixture in his "dad joke" repertoire. He’s said it 3 or 4 times already since I’ve started working here in March, so I'm pretty sure this joke is constantly on standby for him.

This is the exact conversation every time:

Security dude: How are you doing this fine evening?

Me (purposefully setting myself up for it): Pretty good. How about you?

Security dude: Really? WELL, I’ve never been pretty or good, so I don't know what that's like! Hahahahahaha (continues to laugh like this is the funniest joke that’s ever been told).

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bad-fish89
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2013
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My Dad's terrible joke in reference to Standing Rock.

My father and I were talking about Standing Rock and he says to me "It is such a shame what they are doing to those poor people, I had a Native American friend back when I worked a summer repairing light fixtures, his name was Many Hands." It took me a second to notice the shit eating grin on his face, I already knew I was going to have to hold my nose and flee the room when he says, "You know, because Many Hands makes light work."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hephtyvulcan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2016
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Girlfriend got me while hanging hooks

I was using a stud finder to make sure the fixture I was hanging had enough support

"I've never seen a stud this big"

Girlfriend responds and points at me

"I have"

Palm to face and she laughed so hard she stopped breathing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pgroepper09
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2015
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Double dad joked by my gf

(Talking about World Cup fixtures)

Me: damn, no Korea(courier) today.

Her: oh, were you expecting a parcel?

Me: very funny.

Her: thanks. It's all in the delivery.

Me: groans

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Noslek
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2014
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Need a lift?

My dad and I were working up on a scissor lift replacing a light fixture. All went well, and as we brought it down we headed outside. As we went past a group of girls on their smoke break, my dad looks over and says, "Need a lift?" The grin on his face was priceless. We all had a reluctant, but wholesome chuckle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kiefcatchers
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2014
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So we're at Home Depot and my dad drops this one...

We are looking at lighting for our house and we have a few boxes of different fixtures in our buggy. My dad comes over and says we have a lot of lights. A.....light load.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hrtofdixie
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2014
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A bathroom fixture is knocking at the door.

Let that sink in.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hawkluger
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
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