Fitbit Puns

How much more jogging my memory must I do?

I replied: "I guess you'll have to take steps to correct that."

...would they call it a Swolex?

So I yelled "then it better learn how to swim"

I could hear my Dad laughing through a sea of groans.

...It's a 10,000 step program.

Just happened:

Dad: "Doesn't that thing on your wrist tell the temperature?"

Me: "No, it just counts steps"

Dad: "I thought they broke up?!"

Me: "It was a tragedy..."

Dad: <Groan>

The circle is complete!

And I said "So when does it sync?"

Dad: "When you put it in water."

Urgh.

"My fitbit says I'm in Dakar. I don't even know where Dakar is."

"Easy. It's in daparking lot."

My parents are redoing the bathroom, so the vanity was in the living room. Talking to my mom about her broken Fitbit.

Her: I had it charging all day, and it won't connect to my phone. I tried to use the sync-

Me: but it's sitting on the couch!

Her: shamelessly shakes her head and high fives me

I'm gonna be good at this whole dad thing.

My mom was opening her presents and unwrapped a brand new fitbit. As she opened it, she exclaimed, "Yes! I am going to get fit!" And without even looking at each other, my dad and I simultaneously from opposite sides of the room interject, "Bit by bit!" My wife looked at me with an expression that was the perfect cocktail of disbelief, groaning, and eye-rolling while my father walked with his head held a little higher that night.

My mom's friend dropped her fitbit bracelet in the toilet. She said "well now you have a shitbit