I have a fear of speed bumps

I’m slowly getting over it

πŸ‘︎ 75
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
🚨︎ report
Why don't dinosaurs make good pets?

Because they're dead.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/scardeal
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
🚨︎ report
What do flat-Earthers fear?

Sphere itself!

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xIR0NPULSE
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2021
🚨︎ report
I have this pathological fear of two letter words.

I get terrified just thinking about it.

πŸ‘︎ 79
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
🚨︎ report
One of Santa’s biggest fears is getting stuck in the chimney while delivering presents

He’s Claus-trophobic

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nekronous
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a fear of giants?

Feefiphobia

Edit: wow! I never expected this to reach such great heights..... Thank you for the awards, kind redditors.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/denandbil
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I fear for the Calendar.

It’s days are numbered...

πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wilhelmfart
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Fear of spiders is called arachnophobia. What is fear of nothing at all?

A-lack-o-phobias

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/berninicaco3
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2021
🚨︎ report
I've decided to seek help for my irrational fear of speed humps...

I'm slowly getting over it.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2021
🚨︎ report
I have a horrific fear of elevators

I’ve started taking steps to avoid them

πŸ‘︎ 214
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tubergod1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the 0 say to the 8?

Nice belt.

πŸ‘︎ 299
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AJMusicSchool
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2021
🚨︎ report
Why is six afraid of seven?

7 was a well known 6 offender

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HisokaLaMagician
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
🚨︎ report
I went to the doctors because I have a fear of palindromes...

The ba***rd prescribed me Xanax.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2021
🚨︎ report
Why are French bakers so feared in battle?

They're bread for pain

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/umikomorebi
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife said she has an irrational fear of revolving doors.

I told her she’ll come around, eventually.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a fear of giants?
πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shadowman2099
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
🚨︎ report
I went to see a psychiatrist to get over my crippling fear of palindromes.

The bastard put me on Xanax!

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
My biggest fear about becoming a Zombie....

....is all that walking you have to do.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
🚨︎ report
I hate the word "xenophobia", it sounds so...

... foreign

πŸ‘︎ 173
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DobriDobrev03
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
🚨︎ report
Simple solution to my fear of the dark

I just close my eyes and pretend it's not there

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vrrrmmmm
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
🚨︎ report
the stonefish has no natural predator to fear from....

...except the paperfish, which is supposed to be even more superior.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
🚨︎ report
The therapist said I can get over my fear of buffets....

But first, I've got to want to help myself .

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
[At the therapist] Me: Doc, I have a crippling fear of big, empty spaces.

Therapist: A void?

Me: That’s good advice. Thanks.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
🚨︎ report
I have a friend with no social skills and a Ph.D in the history of palindromes.

I call him Dr. Awkward.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I've been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants.

Feefiphobia.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I’ve recently discovered I’m terrified of elevators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

I was a little afraid of speed bumps too, but I’m slowly getting over them!

UPDATE: Thank you so much for all the upvotes and amazing responses, fellow Dad Joke lovers. You make the world a happier place! 🀩

πŸ‘︎ 17k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Whoopass_voice
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Flat Earthers have only one thing to fear

It's sphere itself.

πŸ‘︎ 172
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DesertWolf45
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Irrational fear

I'm terrified of elevators and I'm taking steps to avoid them

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EnderJrack
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a fear of Germans in tight spaces?

Klaustrophobia

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I used to fear giants.

Now I look up to them.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rickno1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I have an irrational fear of being in a small room, packed with Germans.

I told my doctor and he said I have Klaustrophobia.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Finally decided to talk to my therapist about my fear of Mexican food.

Took me a long time to finally be able to taco bout it. πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bradb717
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report
If you are sad, that you didn't get to use 2020 properly, fear not

Because in two years we will have 2022

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PicretecOfficial
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I have an irrational fear of overly engineered buildings

I have a complex complex complex

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thesabermaniac
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What's a pirate's greatest fear on the first date?

A sunken chest with no booty.

πŸ‘︎ 76
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm developing a fear of German sausages

I fear the wurst.

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/massattcker
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
🚨︎ report
The only thing Flat-Earthers fear...

is Sphere itself.

πŸ‘︎ 464
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FlamingNinja925
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
I have a fear of speed bumps

But I'm slowly getting over it.

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2021
🚨︎ report
What is the fear of giants?

Feefiephobia

πŸ‘︎ 85
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CallaLilllies
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
🚨︎ report
I fear for the calendar ...

Its days are numbered.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/red_snake0329
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
🚨︎ report
I have a fear of elevators

But I’ve started taking steps to avoid it.

πŸ‘︎ 100
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ThaCrimsonChinn
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a fear of elevators,

So I've taken steps to avoid them.

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a fear of speed bumps.

I’m slowly getting over it.

πŸ‘︎ 161
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/muisicaldork
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I've been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants....

Feefiphobia.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
The only thing that flat earthers fear....

Is sphere itself.

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/murkroyal420
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
The only thing flat earthers fear

Is sphere itself

πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DaFunkJunkie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a fear of speed bumps,

But I'm slowly getting over it.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
The only thing flat earthers fear is sphere itself.
πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cjjsteen3
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I have a fear of speed bumps....

but I’m slowly getting over it.

πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JCraay
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a fear of speed bumps

But I’m slowly getting over it

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/biscuithead85
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.