A man turns up to a fancy dress party with no costume apart from a naked woman on his back.
He tells the host he has come dressed as a snail.
"But who's the woman?" The host asks, confused.
"Oh, This is Michelle"
This was my 6 year old cousins favourite joke for a while and it still cracks me up especially given the concerned looks the adults share when the joke starts
What do you call a maid who goes to a fancy dance in a meatball?
The trick to making successful puns is wearing fancy underwear.
That's my victorious secret.
As we drove past Ikea, my dad began one of his rants “Why do people want Swedish furniture? The fancy closet in my bedroom was built by a good ol’ fashioned local carpenter, none of this foreign import rubbish!” He was surprisingly vocal...
Son: What’s in that fancy beer mug on the mantel?
Me: Well, that’s your Uncle Frank. That’s where he wanted his remains. It was his favorite beer stein. He always said it would be funny. Never understood why. Son: Maybe it’s so he could be Frank in Stein Me: That son of a bitch!
And yes, just to be clear: not original, saw it on discord, checked this sub, 6 months since last time this joke was posted here.
I first met my wife at a fancy dress party, where I was dressed as a ghost.
What's a fancy term for coders being poached from a company?
Everyone loves my "moderately large business agreement" costume at this fancy dress party.
Why Did the Anthropologist Get Invited to Every Fancy Dinner?
Turns out he was a man of culture.
I turned up at the fancy dress party dressed as a football.
I was immediately kicked out.
Fancy stores are now adding bleach packets to their clothing that explodes if you try to steal them
Police say it’s a great a crime detergent
Last night I went to a fancy dress party dressed as a tea bag.
On the way home I got mugged.
I'll never forget the day I first met my wife. We were at a fancy dress party and she was stood there, looking gorgeous and slim, with her fat mate...
They'd gone together dressed as the number 10...
I knew there and then that she was the One!!
"Trousers" is a fancy words for pants
I don’t get why people like fancy-cut cheese so much.
It’s not bad or anything, I just think it’s overgrated.
The barman in the pub looked over at me said, "Your glass is empty. Fancy another one?" "
Why would I want two empty glasses?" I asked
For my wife's birthday I bought her the fancy new fridge that she wanted.
You should have seen her face light up when she opened it
Just watched a video about fancy drills
A construction worker goes to a fancy restaurant and his a dress code problem.
The man goes into the fancy restaurant and have a discussion with the host:
Host Sir, you cannot come in here with out a belt. We have standards.
The man goes out to his car and puts on a belt fashioned out of some rope. He goes back in.
Host Alright.... I guess you have a belt....You still need a jacket.
The man goes back out to his car and fishes out a jacket his wore to a wedding a year ago. He shares it off, brushes it with his hand, and puts it on.
Host Ok. You still need a tie. It is required.
The man goes out to his car. He doesn't have a tie. He puts on jumper cables and makes a perfect Windsor knot.
Host You have a belt and a jacket. I guess you have a tie.
Just don't try to start something....
I bought a fancy new toaster...
Despite all the new features, I was pretty shocked to find out it wasn’t waterproof.
What happens when you crash your fancy new car?
Yesterday someone told me that whatever job I do at my bank isn't a fancy one, so I decided to do something about it.
I shifted my seat to look out of the window to stare at the wall directly across the street.
Imma wall street banker now
A Brit, a Laotian, a Colombian, an American, an Indian, and a Egyptian wall into a fancy restaurant...
The doorman turns them back, saying “I’m sorry. We can’t let you in without a Thai.”
I've been invited to a Halloween fancy dress party in town.
To brighten things up a bit, I'll be going as The Sun.
A man ordered a glass of water at a fancy restaurant. It cost him 10 dollars. When the waiter delivered it, he asked the waiter why it was so expensive.
The waiter responds “It’s tap quality”
I don't really fancy doing yoga outside during lockdown
Anyone fancy some roasted nuts?
I got my family this new type of fancy European yogurt.
I hope it makes us more cultured.
what if I told you that cowboy clothes is just a fancy way of sayin ranch dressing?
I caught my son eating some of my fancy cheese.
I said, "Leave my provolone alone."
My Friend is going to a fancy dress party and said he's going to dress up as a small island off the coast of italy...
My friend came to a fancy dress party wearing a suit and shoes made of bread.
He looked spiffy in his loafers.
I took my wife to a fancy restaurant where they make the food in front of you, but she wasn't very happy.
I told her next time she can pick the restaurant, if she really hated Subway that much.
what do people win at fancy grammar competitions
If you are craving fancy French bread, but live in a sketchy neighbourhood.
Why did the melons have a big, fancy wedding?
I went to a railway fancy dress party
Everyone was wearing platforms
Southwest Airlines' snacks aren't fancy, you might say they're...
I was invited to a fancy dress party with the theme of characters who find a magic lamp
I wasn't told the dress code so I wasn't Aladdin
What do you say to the waiter who takes forever to bring your fancy pastry?
A woman once claimed she could hit me from across the kitchen with a fancy bottle of herbs.
I told her not to threaten me with a good thyme.
Why did the ghost invest in a fancy microphone?
because he preferred to be heard in scary-o.
My friend loves fancy cheese so much it's almost religious.
You might say she has a personal relationship with cheeses.
What does a fancy pirate eat?
Son: What’s in that fancy beer mug on the mantel?
Me: Well, that’s your Uncle Frank. That’s where he wanted his remains. It was his favorite beer stein. He always said it would be funny. Never understood why.
Son: Maybe it’s so he could be Frank in Stein
Me: That son of a bitch!
The barman looked over at me and said, "Your glass is empty. Fancy another one?"
"Why on Earth would I want two empty glasses?" I asked.
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