Expenseless Puns

Hello everyone, my name’s Gregory and I am from Russia. Once I’ve been sitting in a vodka bar and playing with my bear… Oh that Russian stuff again, sorry. Well yes, I am from Russia and I have quit my job a couple months ago. I actually got tired and bored of selling CDs in the world of wild Russian Internet where nobody wants to pay for media content and the most powerful social network — Vkontakte — is the first one to support media pirates. Thanks for reading that, just couldn’t keep it in. Sitting in a bar I was thinking about what’s wrong with Russia (just like every unemployed in former USSR does). Then my genius friend named Ruben Babaev came up. That was the day I got involved in the most exciting and interesting work in my life.

What Ruben told me first was another terrifying truth about my country: Russians hate helping each other. Today Russia rates 138 of 153 on the World Giving Index, which is between Montenegro and Bulgaria. What’s in it for me, I asked. And then Ruben helped me like so few people in Russia do. =) Ruben is genius. He created the Social Coins project I currently participate in.

The easiest way to explain what is Social Coins is to show you how it works. Meet Artem (YouTube. English subtitles available). Artem wants to buy a puppy for his sister, he filmed this video and posted it at Social Coins. Users like this kinda stories and readily help Artem scratch up the pledged amount of money (set at solid $250). And here’s the point — it costs $0 for users to help Artem. Absolutely free. It is nothing like GoFundMe and Kickstarter. Because Russians mostly don’t help each other that way. People don’t have to give their money away at Social Coins to help Artem. They only have to choose a small Ad from the list and post it on their Twitter account. Oh they don’t even have to post it or something — they only drag a coin from the list to Artem’s video, Ads get posted on Twitter, Artem gets small amount of money. Ain’t it cool?

This is probably the most impressive idea I’ve ever heard. Everyday I watch Ads on my FB wall. Do they give me any value? Do I receive something from advertisers? Nope, in 99% it’s just a useless and irritating spam from me and millions of other Internet users. Next point: “

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

They’re on standbi

Pilot on me!!

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

When I got home, they were still there.

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

You take away their little brooms

There hasn't been a post all year!

It was about a weak back.

Why

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

Nothing, it just waved

Him: I can explain everything!

(It's his best joke yet I think)

Bob

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

Edit: My most popular post on Reddit! 😀 Thank you for the awards.

Just to clarify, 12345678

Hello everyone, my name’s Gregory and I am from Russia. Once I’ve been sitting in a vodka bar and playing with my bear… Oh that Russian stuff again, sorry. Well yes, I am from Russia and I have quit my job a couple months ago. I actually got tired and bored of selling CDs in the world of wild Russian Internet where nobody wants to pay for media content and the most powerful social network — Vkontakte — is the first one to support media pirates. Thanks for reading that, just couldn’t keep it in. Sitting in a bar I was thinking about what’s wrong with Russia (just like every unemployed in former USSR does). Then my genius friend named Ruben Babaev came up. That was the day I got involved in the most exciting and interesting work in my life.

What Ruben told me first was another terrifying truth about my country: Russians hate helping each other. Today Russia rates 138 of 153 on the World Giving Index, which is between Montenegro and Bulgaria. What’s in it for me, I asked. And then Ruben helped me like so few people in Russia do. =) Ruben is genius. He created the Social Coins project I currently participate in.

The easiest way to explain what is Social Coins is to show you how it works. Meet Artem (YouTube. English subtitles available). Artem wants to buy a puppy for his sister, he filmed this video and posted it at Social Coins. Users like this kinda stories and readily help Artem scratch up the pledged amount of money (set at solid $250). And here’s the point — it costs $0 for users to help Artem. Absolutely free. It is nothing like GoFundMe and Kickstarter. Because Russians mostly don’t help each other that way. People don’t have to give their money away at Social Coins to help Artem. They only have to choose a small Ad from the list and post it on their Twitter account. Oh they don’t even have to post it or something — they only drag a coin from the list to Artem’s video, Ads get posted on Twitter, Artem gets small amount of money. Ain’t it cool?

This is probably the most impressive idea I’ve ever heard. Everyday I watch Ads on my FB wall. Do they give me any value? Do I receive something from advertisers? Nope, in 99% it’s just a useless and irritating spam from me and millions of other Internet users. Next point: “