So evidently there's a group of anarchist butter makers in WI
Evidently some people just want to watch the world churn.
My dad's favorite jokes from his opa (it runs in the family, evidently)
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All good things must come to an end, except for a hot dog, it has two.
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(While watching tv) I always wondered why they never invented smellovision... (although sadly that is now a "thing" because of that stupid Honey Boo Boo scratch'n'sniff...siiiigh)
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(When Opa had heart-attack symptoms and was getting a sonogram) So is it a boy or a girl? (apparently the humor was lost on the nurse)
A locksmith had to go to court to give evidence last week.
Apparently he was the key witness.
Stolen from dad jokes.
I have evidence that Robin Hood is aromantic and asexual.
I got arrested at NASA.
I didn't understand the gravity of the situation.
Edit: thanks for the awards, kind strangers!
Gamora: "I am going to die surrounded by the biggest idiots in the galaxy."
My GF dressed up as a police woman and told me I was under arrest under the suspicion that I was good in bed c
After 3 mins all charges were dropped due to lack of evidence
Did you hear about the guy who went on a fruit diet? In just 2 days, he became completely obnoxious
Evidently, it is enough to make a Mango crazy
I went to the museum and saw a painting of a criminal, who claimed his innocence and insisted the police planted evidence.
There's a term for people like Trump
Johnny Depp has lost his case against The Sun newspaper even with evidences
Hard to win if Amber is Heard and Johnny is not
The coffee shop kept samples of burnt coffee as evidence to fire their roaster.
It was used as grounds for dismissal.
I got arrested for stepping on a cheerio
Guess the authorities thought I was a cereal killer
My girlfriend said she'll leave me if I don't support Trump.
Where do mansplainers get their water?
Do you know why the beaver was found guilty?
Because the prosecutor had damming evidence.
I don't have diarrhea
I have solid evidence in the toilet
My wife asked me, “Did you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”
I said, “I don’t see myself doing that.”
If April showers bring may flowers what do may flowers bring?
When I tried to admit new evidence to the trial, the judge threw a Granny Smith at me...
I then remembered it's an apple-late court.
Scientists recently uncovered evidence of a dinosaur that loved to lift weights.
They've decided to call it hella sore.
[In court] Judge: After seeing all the evidence, I am sending you to jail.
Defendant: Say-you-did-what.
Judge: What did you say?
Defendant: Thanks for reversing my sentence.
Recent evidence shows that Earth’s magnetic field is weakening.
Yes. It’s true. Current events have made it less attractive.
I found some concrete evidence.
There's been talk that the ancient Egyptians invented cement.
Historians have looked into the ruins for evidence, but there's nothing concrete.
Twitter has gone too far! Now they're banning Mario for threatening the President.
Evidently he found out that Trump was in Peach twice.
we’ve got some concrete evidence
My friends don’t believe I can make cement
They’re always asking for concrete evidence
What does a lawyer wear in court to handle evidence after dark?
My boss is making me dig through a stack of hay bare-handed to look for anything that shouldn’t be there. I suspect he dropped his wedding ring while having an affair with the new girl he hired in the pile and now he is desperate to hide the evidence from his wife who might be on to him.
But I’m just grasping at straws here.
I took a picture of my son sleeping earlier today.
Then I sent the picture to the FBI as evidence of a kid napping.
Cement truck driver stole my identity and nobody would believe me
But then I found some concrete evidence
Concrete evidence that kids are indeed stupid.
Someone threw a piece of a brick through my window last night
The police aren’t helping because there isn’t enough concrete evidence.
My theory as to why USA and Cuba had their dispute was because of oil. Evidence you say. I just found Fidels Castrol
What are plants that captured evidence of crime called?
I read about one famous detective. Man was always catching criminals by simple luck. Either he would just luckily stumble across damning evidence or luckily catch the criminal in the act.
I think his name was Sheer luck Holmes
Why wasn't the rock allowed into the party?
He wasn't "granite" permission.
Once considered to be holding funerals near a dead crow, now evidence indicates that crows may be examining the body and surrounding area for potential threats to the flock.
It's a murder investigation.
I got into an argument with a cement mixer the other day.
I tried my hardest, but he had some real concrete evidence.
Did you hear about the Beever that was sent to prison.
The evidence against him was damming.
Bill Nye has a daughter who doesn't believe in science.
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