Essays Puns

He was busted for pandemic dishonesty.

The teacher asked the boy, "Why did you write this?" The boy replied, "Because you always say that history repeats itself!"

He couldn’t right align

So, I gave her 2 pictures.

would you gain or lose marks for not using capital letters...?

It’ll now just be called the T.

Just calling it the T exam now.

The hills have 'i's.

I just came to that conclusion.

Because I get to go to the space bar often

The teacher grated it.

But I ain’t no snitch.

Only 1,999 more words to go!!

In my opinion we should beat the shit out of constipated people because:

1. Laxatives are an unhealthy way of dealing with feces. On the other hand, beating the shit out of someone is a good way to practice sports activities like, running, grip strength, punching techniques etc.

2. Other methods of dealing with feces take alot of money. Laxatives aren't cheap in our flawed healthcare system! On the other hand, there are people that are willing to pay you to beat the shit out of you. By using this method you can become richer and deal with your shitty problems.

3. Constipation requires being in the bathroom for a long time. This can be very lonely for the people involved. However, beating the shit out of others can be done in any place. Your home, the local park, or even the shady street corner! Not only that it's a very social activity, requiring a minimum of at least 2 people, but usually done in groups of 2-5 people.

Although some people might say, that beating the shit out of each other is violent, most of them have never been to a public toilet and hence are unable to realize how much more painful and violent the alternative is.

In summery, beating the shit out of people is a good, legitimate, and affordable alternative to laxatives and is a better, more progressive way, to deal with constipation.

Son: "The due date."

So that i can get a lead on an idea

Because they're dead.

I'm thinking Aerial

Of course it is. It’s the essayt

The professor asked for it Chicago Style so I turned it in in a deep dish.

His words, not mine.

Because he was asked to research.

...or you'll get charged with pla-chair-ism

Where's the lamb source!?

I think I might be jumping to a conclusion.

Ruff Drafts

"Oh no, i'm going to end up waffling!"

There was another page, but I can't find it.

By writing a RUFF draft

He summit up.

It wasn’t justified.

Well on the one hand it can have a huge psychological impact

I said, "you're a groan man! Don't be sheepish--ewe can handle it."

He walked away with a spring in his step.

I'll even submit it to National Geographic, they'll give me a full-page spread.

bonus peanut butter

My teacher only wanted the cliff notes though.

...but I don't want to jump to conclusions.

I wanted to have an air-tight argument

when all of a sudden I deleted an entire sentence. I tried Ctrl+Z, document recovery, and everything, but eventually I gave it up as a lost clause.

Dad: "c-h-e-c-k m-y e-s-s-a-y"

Or maybe I’m just jumping to a conclusion.

all i got is "no Juan left behind."

"How do you know that?" "I just just came to that conclusion."

But I ain't no snitch.

But I refused because I ain’t no snitch

It’ll be called T from now on.