Escargots Puns

Do I need to use a slow cooker?

He had bad gastropod!

My dad asked whether I didn't want the escar-stay, since we were just starting our meal.

The waitress laughed; everyone else groaned.

because they don’t like fast food

One day a snail went to a car dealership, he said to the dealer. I want a custom car, a car that’s very fast and had a big s on the side. The dealer said ok and the snail paid. 3 weeks later the snail got a call that his car was ready. When the snail went back to the dealership for his car and the dealer asked him why he snail wanted a big s on the side, and the snail said “I’ve been very slow all my life, so when I’m going down the freeway at high speeds, I want people to look over and say look at that escargot”

"I put the 'escargot' in 'presh-escargot'."

('Precious cargo')

He's pulled over for having a broken tail light and before the officer lets him go he asks "what's in this truck anyway?"

Escargot.

So everyone would see him driving and say

“Look at that escargot!”

Because they can't get their escargot.

So when he drove by people would say, “Look at that escargot!”

You’re welcome.

...he called them "escargot shorts."

I almost killed my GF with this one

Escargot.

Those'll make you walk really slowly... Cause they're escargot shorts. No one laughed except for him.

And I saw a snail driving a car.

I said "wow look at that Escargot"

It made escargot.

I just painted a big S on my car and I like to drive really fast...

Now when people see me fly by they say, "Wow! Look at that S car go!" (Escargot)

They can't stand fast food.

So that everyone would say say “Look at that escargot.”

They don’t like fast food

So whenever he drove by, all the people would say “Look at that escargot!”