My wife called me at work and told me one of our envelopes is giving her an attitude

I told her I will address it when I get home

πŸ‘︎ 66
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call an envelope that is made of Iron?

Femail

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Briarden
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2021
🚨︎ report
Why don’t envelopes reproduce? /r/Jokes/comments/naotq3/…
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IndividualStrain2
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Blank envelope....

Now, thats something that needs addressing.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
🚨︎ report
When REM met The Queen, she held up a stamped envelope and then said...

"That's me in the corner."

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanooooo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
🚨︎ report
I really push the envelope in this video.... v.redd.it/c2yyvsfjuzb41
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DumpedAt22
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Lunar new year in Vietnam is celebrated with lion dances, dragon dances, fireworks, family gatherings and meals, ancestor worship, and giving red envelopes to children and the elderly.

Thank you for coming to my TαΊΏt talk.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
🚨︎ report
I'm trying to convince my friend that being a fraudster isn't for him. I went over to his house the other day and he was putting canned meat in envelopes.

Apparently he was sending a bunch of Spam Mail.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jmar4234
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
It's Christmas day. Mariah Carey is opening presents around the tree with friends and family. She opens an envelope with a gift, the deed to a piece of residential land.

With a frown, she says "I don't want a lot for Christmas".

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/johnblu5
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I have been pushing the envelope all my life

But it still remains stationery.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/letsgetrandy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
It doesn't matter how much you push the envelope

It'll still be stationery.

πŸ‘︎ 52
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NachoRaptor
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the German mail man deliver an envelope to the Polish neighbour?

Because he was in Reichweite

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Aremathick
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
My son showed me a stamped envelope and asked, "Is this a postmark?"

I burst into tears. 12 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Gary.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Envelope: β€œare we there yet? I’m worried we’re not going to make it!”

Mailman: β€œI’ll keep you posted”

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
As much as you might move around an envelope

It'll always be stationery.

πŸ‘︎ 69
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_sewer_rat_0900
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I Just opened a card and a load of rice fell out the envelope

It’s was from my uncle Ben

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JoelandLouise
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I really push the envelope in this video.... v.redd.it/c2yyvsfjuzb41
πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thel3viathan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2020
🚨︎ report
You can throw an envelope as far as you want, but it’ll still be stationery.
πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/InOPWeTrust
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2017
🚨︎ report
BREAKING NEWS The M6 has become blocked after a truck shed its load of brightly coloured writing paper and envelopes...

Police say the traffic is pretty stationery.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
🚨︎ report
The letter was inside the envelope and couldn't see outside so he told the stamp...

to keep him posted

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stayouttamyswamp-
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the stamp say to the envelope?

Stick with me and we'll go places.

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2019
🚨︎ report
A new study has found that white envelopes tend to be delivered faster than envelopes of any other colour

I guess you could say that there's...

white mail privilege

πŸ‘︎ 79
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PinguTheBrave
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2019
🚨︎ report
The envelope to our landlord with rent cheques
πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lan_chop
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call letters and envelopes that haven’t been moved in years?

Stationary.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dstew94
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2018
🚨︎ report
Dad got me with a bit of wisdom: No matter how much you try to push the envelope...

...it'll always be stationery.

πŸ‘︎ 198
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CandysaurusRex
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2016
🚨︎ report
My dad likes bad puns, so I decided to include some on his Father's Day card envelope. Thought you all might appreciate!
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jack-ums
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2018
🚨︎ report
Some puns here do a good job at pushing the envelope. Too bad they'll always be stationery.
πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pirate_of_the_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2016
🚨︎ report
No matter how much you push the envelope,

it'll still be stationery.

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

When chemists die, they barium.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I'd swear I've never met herbivore

I know a guy who's addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A. I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered. He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.

Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.

Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the ends.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PewPewWizard2000
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2018
🚨︎ report
There's an envelope on my doorstep that says "do not bend"

I still haven't worked out how to pick it up.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fingerofblame
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2017
🚨︎ report
Why did the walrus lick the envelope?

Because it was looking for a good SEAL!

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jam219
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2017
🚨︎ report
I painted my dad's envelopes black

So when he sends them they'll be blackmail

πŸ‘︎ 56
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CommanderOfPuns
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2016
🚨︎ report
No matter how hard you push the envelope ...

It'll still be stationery.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
🚨︎ report
No matter how much you push the envelope,

It'll always be stationery.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JDogg323
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
🚨︎ report
No matter how far you push the envelope...

It'll always be stationery

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Stonefly_C
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
🚨︎ report
No matter how much you push the envelope...

It'll always be stationery

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
🚨︎ report
No matter how much you push the envelope

It will still be statioery

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/djkp7211
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/redwitch-fr
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
🚨︎ report
If you push the envelope...

...is it still stationary?

πŸ‘︎ 139
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DiscoveringMore
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2018
🚨︎ report
No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/iknowthisischeesy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
🚨︎ report
The local motorway has become blocked after a lorry shed it's load of brightly coloured writing paper and envelopes.

Police say the traffic is pretty stationery...

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
🚨︎ report
No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationary
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mapguy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the stamp say to the envelope?

Stick with me and we'll go places.

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_mono_no_aware
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
🚨︎ report
No matter how far you push the envelope..

.. it always remains stationary

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/luckydragon88
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the envelope say to the stamp?

Stick with me and we'll go places.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NigGorilla666
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2019
🚨︎ report
No matter how much you push the Envelope

It'll still be stationary

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PeevesPoltergist
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2019
🚨︎ report
No matter how far you push the envelope...

it always remains stationary.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RichyCigars
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2018
🚨︎ report
A paradox - No matter how much you push the envelope, it will always be stationary.
πŸ‘︎ 85
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Wu-TangJedi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2015
🚨︎ report
It doesn't matter how much you push the envelope...

It will always be stationary

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Headsup_Eyesdown
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2018
🚨︎ report
No matter how far you push the envelope...

It's still stationery.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mewse_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2015
🚨︎ report
What did the envelope say to the stamp?

Stick with me and we'll go places!

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Antranik
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2016
🚨︎ report

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