What do you call a salad that's grown in an enclosed garden in England?

A Waldorf salad

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Own-Initial
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
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Have you seen the mall?

No, but I've seen most of 'em.

(My father used this one every time we passed an enclosed shopping center. I wanted to die.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EvilGreebo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
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So we pull into the gas station..

with an enclosed trailer on our hitch. Every other pump at this highway gas station was in use. Dad steps out of the car and before attending to the pump, walks up to the trailer and slaps the paneling several times (pound) (pound) (pound) "Hey! Be quiet in there!"

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZohnTangel
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2013
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A dirty-ish joke that my dad once told me...

So my dad told me this joke several years ago. I later found it on the internet. So I'm just pasting it here as it is written online:


A good looking man walked into an agent’s office in Hollywood and said β€˜I want to be a movie star.’ Tall, handsome and with experience on Broadway, he had the right credentials.

The agent asked, β€˜What’s your name?’

The guy said, β€˜My name is Penis van Lesbian.’

The agent said, β€˜Sir, I hate to tell you, but in order to get into Hollywood you are going to have to change your name.’

β€˜I will NOT change my name! The van Lesbian name is centuries old, I will not disrespect my grandfather by changing my name. Not ever!’

The agent said, β€˜Sir, I have worked in Hollywood for years… you will NEVER go far in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian! I’m telling you, you will HAVE TO change your name or I will not be able to represent you.’

β€˜So be it! I guess we will not do business together’ the guy said and he left the agent’s office.

FIVE YEARS LATER….. The agent opens an envelope sent to his office. Inside the envelope is a letter and a check for $50,000. The agent is awe-struck, who would possibly send him $50,000? He reads the letter enclosed:

Dear Sir,

Five years ago, I came into your office wanting to become an actor in Hollywood and you told me I needed to change my name. Determined to make it with my God-given birth name, I refused. You told me I would never make it in Hollywood with a name like Penis van Lesbian. After I left your office, I thought about what you said. I decided you were right. I had to change my name. I had too much pride to return to your office, so I signed with another agent. I would never have made it without changing my name, so the enclosed check is a token of my appreciation.

Thank you for your advice.

Sincerely,

Dick van Dyke

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HAL9000000
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2013
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