this is an eg

https://preview.redd.it/3cykfiy3u8j31.png?width=341&format=png&auto=webp&s=05a654949ee457b6675bcf1d23b2b20b1c0d6e4e

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👤︎ u/SylerEnder
📅︎ Aug 28 2019
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Rich people
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👤︎ u/Bongnazi
📅︎ Jul 23 2019
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To whomever egged my car last night:

That thing doesn't even start, so the yolks on you.

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📅︎ May 29 2017
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What did the house say after getting egged?

I'm so egg-sided!

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📅︎ Sep 15 2017
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Why did the chicken cross the road?

because he was egged on to do it..

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👤︎ u/dullbrowny
📅︎ Feb 09 2020
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What time is it?

BACKGROUND: I'm a sleep technologist and there's an intercom connecting my office to the patients' rooms. They call out when they need something (eg. blanket, bathroom visit, etc.)

Patient calls out, "Hey, what time is it out there?" so I replied "Probably the same time it is in there, why?"

The patient was too sleepy to be amused but it made me laugh.

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📅︎ Apr 03 2014
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My first organic dad joke

My wife texted me saying "we've been nuts all day", as in busy. I asked her "what kind?" And then proceeded to rattle off her co-workers names paired with nuts of the same letter, eg: Cashew Crissy, Pistachio Patty.

Then I laughed like an idiot for 5 minutes.

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👤︎ u/NiceIsis
📅︎ Mar 19 2019
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Why did the chicken commit a crime?

Because he was egged on.

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📅︎ Mar 28 2016
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Pun help?

I am known among my peers as one who makes puns for people's birthdays (eg: someones last name was Rawlinson, so I said have a BAWLINson birthday). But, this time, I am having a hard time making a pun. The name is Kolton, sometimes known as Kolt. May the puns be with you.

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👤︎ u/weiners101
📅︎ Jul 10 2014
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Did you hear about the chicken that escaped its coop?

The others egged him on.

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👤︎ u/geetar_man
📅︎ May 30 2016
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My friend keeps antagonizing Humpty Dumpty....

He keeps "egging" him on.

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📅︎ Aug 19 2017
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Dad Joked at Breakfast

I was eating breakfast with my dad (one of them), peeling a hardboiled egg. The shell was sticking and I was getting quite frustrated. Me: This thing is pissing me off! Dad: Is it egging you on? Me: <slow claps>

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👤︎ u/twodads69
📅︎ Apr 01 2014
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