Afternoon all,
I have been quite busy today speaking with many of my colleagues on how we should address the issue occurring in Queensland. Right now, our most pressing issue is about ensuring that the crew members that are still on the ship are safe and are able to be easily rescued. The Minister for Transport and Infrastructure, Drunk_King_Robert has already Australian Maritime Safety Authority out to the site of the crash to help rescue the crew and ensure that the spill is cleaned up.
Health Minister Horror-HQ is already in the midst of the situation, ensuring that Health Department works with the local communities of Gladstone to ensure that the people there remain safe despite the risk of contaminated water. Again I must stress, the most important issue for us right now is to ensure that people are safe.
However, this issue is also raising awareness on the effect that unfettered capitalism can have on our nation, Gladstone sits right next to the most well known and iconic landmark in Australia, the Great Barrier Reef. This is the direct result of weak punishments on companies that knowingly break the law. For many businesses, it's a simple risk-reward issue, this is why time and time again we hear of oil spills like this, because it's simple, the punishment for devastatingly affecting the environment is weak!
That's why we'll be working to introduce new legislation that will increase the weak punishments that allows for companies to get away with this over and over again! The Great Barrier Reef is one of our most sacred natural landmarks and it seems everyday companies are trying to remove it, which would eliminate a catastrophic number of jobs across Northern Queensland.
Furthermore, it is not the job of the government to foot the bill when companies break the law, we're doing everything within our power to ensure that Sovcomflot will foot the bill for failing Australia and the rest of the world. We live in dangerous times for the environment, and we're doing what we can to ensure that we look after it for our children and their children beyond!
Seems disingenuous at best, and should be bought up in during the daily presser.
For example Glady & KIIS and a lesser case of Dominic Perrottet on 2GB this morning
I was just reading the paper by u/bwv549 here (he has so much good stuff!) and was thinking about the Holland Sweeney exchange about a decade ago. Putting aside any applicable counsel in Isaiah 29:21 for a moment, the exchange can be reduced to this.
1.Did X happen?
2.No, no.
2.It couldn’t because Y is a fact.
1.Y wasn’t always a fact
2.True
1.Therefore X happened?
2.Well, yes, more or less
Or in more detail
Sweeney - Did Romney swear an oath with a penalty?
Holland - No, No
Holland - We don’t have penalties
Sweeney - You used to
Holland - Yes
Sweeney - Therefore Romney swore an oath with a penalty?
Holland - Well, yes, a vow about the ordinances.
Sweeney’s skill is evident throughout, but especially in the three word middle question, the only part of the conversation I have reproduced verbatim. “You used to”, half question, half assertion, conveyed acceptance of the truth of Holland’s second statement about no penalties, but noted that things had changed. The acceptance Holland received immediately broke down his resistance, and as a result, he made all the necessary admissions in the next two answers - yes we did have penalties, yes Romney did swear the oath (although Holland then instinctively protectively obfuscates with unnecessary and debatable details, calling it a vow, and noting it was about the ordinances).
These three words by Sweeney impliedly agreeing with Holland contain a valuable lesson for any lawyer or advocate, indeed everyone in conversation. To use the words of Jesus in another context, “agree with thine adversary quickly”. Agreement is disarming, unifying, breaks down barriers, allows more open conversation. When a judge asks a lawyer a question, almost always a “yes” is preferable to a “no”, even if further words are needed to avoid too much of a concession. And in conversation, the same is true.
(The power of agreement is one reason why the Church’s policy against it apologising is misconceived, but that is another topic)
Another example: consider the assertion “the church is true” in conversation. Then consider how the conversation might thereafter proceed if your response is “Yes … although it may …have a few errors” compared to “No, it’s false”
One feature of the Sweeney Holland exchange is how Holland did not rely on temple secrecy, but himself revealed new details: tha
... keep reading on reddit ➡I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.
THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB
Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"
I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual
So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes
r/unclejokes for dirty jokes
r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC
r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes
Punchline !
Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub
Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat
They were cooked in Greece.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?
Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"
Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
But that’s comparing apples to oranges
And boy are my arms legs.
And now I’m cannelloni
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
They’re on standbi
A play on words.
My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.
Pilot on me!!
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Or would that be too forward thinking?
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
When I got home, they were still there.
Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.
I won't be doing that today!
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
