It's also, done by A minor
My wife was hurrying me along and asking when things were going to be done so I asked her if she was my clone from Moscow. She looked confused and said "No, why?"
I said "Because you're Russian me."
I'm done with dating mermaids.
I'm ready for A riel woman.
For everyone glad to be done with 2020...
... just remember next year is 2022.
My wife often uses the promise of raunchy sex to get little jobs done around the house.
I read a study that sailing in Finland is mostly done by women
If a man takes the helm, they're afraid that Helsinki
At the office barbecue, I grilled some rare steak for our boss, and he said, “I like it well done.”
I said, “Thanks. That means a lot.”
A steak that isn't done properly...
Another year has came and went, and there are some things I wish I could’ve done differently
Teacher: "You know, you really should have done your homework. It was in your best interest."
Kid: "Yeah, my dog ate it. How'd you know dogs were my best interest?"
Did you think 2020’s done with you? Well you’re wrong!
Because next year is 2022
This might be my crowning achievement. If it's been done before, I apologize for nothing. Grape minds think alike- nope wrong fruit.
On reflection, there's a lot of stuff I'd like to have done differently this past year.
But hey, hindsight is 2020
There are so many things I would've done differently this last year
But hey, hindsight is 2020
As this year is coming to a close, I find myself thinking about all the things I would have done differently.
Seems like I got 20/20 hindsight.
Dud you know Astronauts said steaks are better in space?
Do degrees even matter as long as the person gets the job done?
I made a long version of are wii gonna have a problem
My steak didn’t taste very good. At first I thought I over cooked it
But it turns out I didn’t make it in thyme.
Why did Popeye write to the Italian food company Bertolli, thanking them for everything they’d done?
They made olive oil spread.
As a short guy, I was completely sure there was nothing to be done about my height. I went to the doctor, turns out I had scoliosis.
There was a remake of Die Hard done by fish
The antagonist was Hans Grouper
Probably has been done before, but here:
So my wife is getting some medical tests done (we’re expecting our second child) and had to bring home a urine sample cup to fill up and bring back to the clinic the next day.
She asks me to bring it drop it off at the lab for her and I ask, “where do I drop it off?”
She says, “Go in the front door and there’s a little desk that you -“
“Don’t you mean a LITTLE STOOL!?”
... I hope you guys enjoy that as much as I did. True story happened today!
Where does The Joker get his hair done?
My wife: You need to do more chores around the house.
Me: Can we change the subject?
Her: Ok. More chores around the house need to be done by you.
I can always tell what I should have done as long as I'm looking at ketchup.
Yeah, you could say I have perfect Heinz-site
Every morning when I am done getting my 2 year old ready for school I call her a Canadian potato chip.
Because she’s all dressed.
For all those saying they are done with 2020
Please trade me. I’m tired of wearing my glasses.
What have the romans ever done for us!
Do Roman paramedics refer to IVs as “fours”?
What does the color blue do when it's done using the computer?
Just got my Toenado done.
I’m done being a people pleaser
If everyone’s ok with that
Waiter : "How would you like your steak cooked"?
Me : "Take a guess"
Waiter : "Medium rare"?
Me : "Well done"
Waiter : "umm, huh"???
I tried driving a truck with a trailer that was attached without using the proper equipment.
It went off without a hitch.
what do you call a communist sniper
My local paper has done amazing work in exposing corruption in our local chicken farms.
They deserve a pullet-zer prize.
As I get older and remember all the people I've lost along the way....
I think to myself, maybe a career as a tour guide wasn't for me.
I dunno if this has been done before
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