Donative Puns

it's a "dead giveaway"

But try donating five kidneys and suddenly everyone is yelling and the police get involved.

I told them, "Anyone who fits into my clothes, certainly isn't starving. "

So, I handed him a glass of water.

But they don't really need the support

They didn’t even say “Thank you”

They pick the right one.

That way there's still one left

Figured the collection was getting a bit too big so why not

credit to the r/TwoSentenceHorror subreddit

I gave him a glass of water.

They’re calling it Mercedes-clenz

I was happy to give him a full glass of water to help!

Hey may not be alive, but he was delivered.

He hasn’t responded yet, but when he does I’ll find out if he supports youth in Asia.

The husband replys: "Debra whoever receives your clothes surely won't be starving."

(I apologise if this has already been posted, I just heard my dad say it to me today.)

I applaud the effort, but given how little space the trucks have in the first place, it seems like there's really not much room for waste to begin with. So, I've gotta ask...

How much food would a good truck chuck if a food truck could chuck food?

is it parishable?

Charity!

A wreath of Franklins

I went and got them a glass of water.

They just take the money and run.

I told them “Nein, out of tin.” Dentists agreed.

I guess I’m just feeling very chairtable.

Because they're shellfish

They threw me out and said "We don't want your type here!"

He’s an organ donor

Then I’d have $999,999.75.

Yew

A chairity

What should I do with the remaining $999,999.75?

He was Phil-anthropist.

But sometimes it can B-negative.

Dad: No problem. (To me) Hey, you live with this guy from now on.

Donating 5 makes you a suspect

I really want to have a daughter and name her Zelda.

I imagine, as she gets older she will spend all her time writing sick poetry and rhymes in her journal, growing her hair down to her back, not to spite me, but so she can donate it later, and expand her wit by studying improv comedy through highschool.

As she becomes famous, I hope she will invite me to one of her rap battles and put me in the front row. My heart will grow as she takes the stage, but fatherly intuition tells me something is wrong...Zelda is frozen at the microphone.

I see her up on the stage, eyes alight with fright, hair pulled tight into a bun. She and I lock eyes, a moment of silence passes and serenity slowly enters...THIS is the moment we have been waiting for all our lives.

Looking up calmly, I couldn't be more proud as I exclaim, "Rap puns, Zel. Rap puns, Zel! Let down your hair!"

Why do they want to know where I got it from? Or why it's in bucket?

He said he’s still rooting for me though.

it's a "dead giveaway"

He hasn’t responded yet, but when he does I’ll find out if he supports youth in Asia.

So I gave him a glass of water...

I gave him a glass of water

I gave him a glass of water

I gave him a glass of water

I felt generous so I gave him a couple glasses of water.