I'm not very clever, looking for some help with dog puns

So I have this app that is centered around dogs. I'm introducing a level system with 7 levels and need clever dog pun names for each level. I have a list here of the gist of what the levels should mean, but they are too boring as of now. Would love to see your pun skills at work!

  • 1: Amateur
  • 2: Junior Varsity
  • 3: Varsity
  • 4: Park Captain
  • 5: Professional Player
  • 6: Park All-star
  • 7: Olympian Dog

Thanks! :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sherlocked_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2016
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Hot Dog Puns

a friend's text to me: I have eaten three mini hot dogs

my response: Frankly, that sounds delicious

I declare you the weiner of the food contest

I hope you dance your buns off

I relish the opportunity to ketchup at a later date


I feel like I could have done more - any other good ones out there?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wowmomlol
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2015
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I may have found the one...

So this girl I’ve been seeing for a while was at my place. She made a comment about how difficult a dogs life must be... I said β€œyea, it’s a rough life!” And proceeded to make three or four mor dog puns.

She walks to the Christmas tree, grabs a candy cane and throws it at me (all with a straight face).

Thinking she was mad, I asked what that was for.

She looks up, smiles, and says β€œIt was your punish-mint.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_JEThompson
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2017
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Horse Puns

Funniest horse puns and jokes

A white horse walks into a pub and asks for a whisky. The landlord says: β€œHey, we’ve got a whisky named after you.” The horse replies: β€œWhat, George?”


A horse trudges slowly into a pub and orders a drink. β€œEvenin’” says the barman, β€œwhy the long face?”


A horse walks into a smart cocktail bar. The doorman says: β€œWait you can’t come in here without a tie.”The horse goes out to his car, looks in the boot and gets a set of jump leads, which he ties around his neck.He goes back in and says to the barman: β€œThis alright?” The barman says: β€œHmm, ok… but don’t be starting anything.”


A poorly-looking horse limps into a bar with a bandage round his head. He orders a glass of champagne, a vintage brandy and two pints of Guinness. He downs the lot and says to the barman: β€œI shouldn’t really be drinking this with what I’ve got?” β€œWhy, what have you got?” β€œAbout Β£2 and a carrot.”


Which side of a horse has more hair? The outside What’s a horse’s favourite TV show? Neighbours


A racehorse owner takes his horse to the vet. β€œWill I be able to race this horse again?,” he asks The vet replies: β€œOf course you will, and you’ll probably win!”


Did you hear about the depressed horse? He told a tale of whoa!


A dead horse walks into a bar and orders a whisky.

β€œI’m sorry, sir,” says the barman. β€œWe don’t serve spirits..


A talking horse walks into a bar and approaches the manager. β€œExcuse me, good sir,” the horse says, β€œare you hiring?” The manager looks the horse up and down and says, β€œSorry, pal. Why don’t you try the circus?” The horse nickers. β€œWhy would the circus need a bartender?”


Did you hear about the man who was hospitalized with six plastic horses inside him? The doctor described his condition as stable.


What did the horse say when it fell? β€œI’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!”


Q. What does it mean if you find a horseshoe? A. Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.


A man rode his horse to town on Friday. The next day he rode back on Friday. How is this possible? The horse’s name was Friday.


Why did the pony have to gargle? Because it was a little horse!


What did the horse say when it fell? I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!


What did the teacher say when the horse walked into the class? Why the long face?


What do you call a horse that lives next door? A neigh-bo

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2017
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The police arrested a dog for giving birth on the street.

It was littering.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FoldaHolda
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
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Wife says I won’t get 5 upvotes for this, but... Did you hear the one about the dog and the tree?

They had a long conversation about bark.

Edit: Y'all are nuts! We're somewhere north of 10k upvotes now, so I'll direct any remaining attention to Boot Camp for New Dads.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/amalgamxtc
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
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My 6 year old told me this one today. Why do dogs carry bones in their mouths?

Because they don't have pockets.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kristhebrown
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
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My wife asked me today if I had seen the dog bowl.

I said no I didn’t know he could.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Grind_n_brine
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
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I adopted my dog from a blacksmith

As soon as we got home, he made a bolt for the door.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Russell_Pinto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
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Smart dog originally from R/Memes but crossposts aren’t aloud
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rocco_Crocko
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
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Why should you never go for a jog if it is raining cats and dogs outside?

You might step in a poodle!

(from my 70 year old uncle)

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2021
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My wife asked me if I'd seen the dog bowl

...I said I didn't even know he could play cricket.

Edit: Americans; replace 'cricket' with '10 Pin Bowling 🎳 '

Thank you for the awards

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tinnber
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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It really is a weakness
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToastyZ71
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
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Not a joke for written context, but one you can use on your family.

You just say to your family member - "Did you hear someone in the family is part owl?"

They'll reply with "who?" And you look at them with a raised eyebrow.

Tell this joke over dinner if youd like to be the life of the party. You're welcome.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MCKANNON
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
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A buddy of mine named his dog β€œ5 Miles” so he could tell people he walked 5 miles

But today he ran over 5 Miles

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GigaMike123
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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I asked my dog what's two minus two.

He said nothing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/noodlesvonsoup
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?

Make me one with everything.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LayThatPipe
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
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Where do you find a dog with no legs?

Right where you left it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nogudyousirnaym
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
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I named my dog 6miles. So I can tell people I walk 6miles every day!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thunderclap222
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
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I can't take my dog to the park anymore. The ducks keep biting him.

I should have known this would happen. He's pure bread.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2021
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I’ve trained my dog to go and fetch me a bottle of wine.

He’s a Bordeaux collie

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πŸ‘€︎ u/acherion
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2021
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Why was the dog an alcoholic?

Because he had a ruff past.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dmort1996
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2021
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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella?

Fo'drizzle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mama_Bear15
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
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Was flattered by a bench at a hot dog restaurant.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaxxkiddo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2021
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I heard that fish are good for your dog's health.

They act as a dewormer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fireburner80
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
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Before I join a contest, I always make my dog urinate on a photograph of the other contenders.

It gives me a leg up on the competition.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BubzTheDeranged
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2021
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My dog chewed up a bunch of stuff yesterday. Now he’s feeling gnawseous
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Doblanon5short
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2021
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I read a book about an immortal dog the other day.

it was impossible to put down.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cyanide_Gaming2
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
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My dog lost his favorite toy this week...

It was arf-ul.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VAOkie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
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If you can't appreciate this, please furgive me
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToastyZ71
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
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What do you call the noise an Icelandic dog makes?

BjΓΆrk

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Conspiracyyyys
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
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Why are dogs so good at running in rough terrain?

They have pawsitraction!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nightwingwelds42
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2021
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A man walks into a zoo and the only animal inside is a dog.

It’s a Shih Tzu

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Texgymratdad
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
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How do you find your dog if it's lost in the woods?

Put your ear up to a tree and listen for the bark!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2021
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My dog just lazes around all day waiting for his next meal to be delivered.

He's a Door Dash Hound

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πŸ‘€︎ u/timthedriller
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
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Dogs can’t operate MRI machines.

. ....................But catscan.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
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It’s raining cats and dogs

So be careful you don’t stop in a poodle

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EmergingTuna21
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2021
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What do dogs and trees have in common?

The bark :D

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirBlubblegum
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2021
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Multiple dogs escaped their handlers

Police are chasing some leads now

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SN4AK3E
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2021
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What do you call a dog without legs?

It doesn't matter what you call it, he's not coming.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrimSk8r
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2021
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What do you call a dog, with no legs?

It doesnt matter, he is not coming

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bubledor
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
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Why did the dog bark at the tree?

Because the tree barked first

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Witchywomun
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
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Where do you find a Dog without legs?

Right Where you left it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blackboyjesse
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
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Why did the ducks eat the dog?

Because it was pure bread

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BeatsbyChrisBrown
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2021
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