The capital of India received a large shipment of refrigerators for displaying meat but they were contaminated with coronavirus...

it was a lot of new deli cases

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/xtaldad
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Starbucksยฎ has announced that they are now adding a surcharge to any customer displaying Coronavirus symptoms.

Relax. It's just a "Cough Fee."

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PotBuzz
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 12 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I think that stores in the US displaying their prices without sales tax is simply just...

gross

๐Ÿ‘︎ 16
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/tatlungt
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 01 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I think the clock on my phone is broken, it's only displaying an error message.

All it says is 4:04.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Mini_Mega
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Displaying small objects in DT class

Back when I were a young whippersnapper, we had a woodworking project to create something that would let us display a small object.

After a few minutes of the teacher asking us what we would display, and a large number of frankly stupid responses, he told us to stop shouting out. Then someone suggested they display some scissors. He asked "Why would you want to display some scissors?!"

Without skipping a beat I yelled out "To display the cutting edge of technology!"

I can still see him staring at me now!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 15
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/LynchGFX
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 27 2015
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Ever hear what happened to the dead guy who was put on display?

Remains to be seen.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 65
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/MahlonMurder
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I was having problems with the printer at work last week and I had to ring the engineer. I told him that I kept putting paper in to the printer but the display kept saying it just can't get enough...

The engineer said "ah yes.... it's stuck in Depeche Mode"....

๐Ÿ‘︎ 36
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/bobbylake71
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My HOA agreement has a statement mandating we have an inflatable Santa displayed in our yard during December

There is a Santa clause.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/omgwtfbbq7
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Son: There's a life-sized "Leg lamp" at the light display! It's like 4 feet tall!

Me: No, it's only one foot.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/thirteen_20
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A family is in an amusement park and comes across an animatronic display of Al Gore playing the drums.

The mother says, "Hey everyone, look at that. Isn't that amazing?" The father, unimpressed, replies, "It's just an algorithm".

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mgrasso75
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K?

HDMI

๐Ÿ‘︎ 15k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/TheFoxMaster00
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A Mexican man who spoke no English went into a department store to buy socks...

He found his way to the men's department where a young lady offered to help him. "Quiero calcetines," said the man.

"I don't speak Spanish, but we have some very nice suits over here," said the salesgirl. "No, no quiero trajes. Quiero calcetines," said the man.

"Well, these shirts are on sale this week," declared the salesgirl. "No, no quiero camisas. Quiero calcetines," repeated the man.

"I still don't know what you're trying to say. We have some fine pants on this rack," offered the salesgirl. "No, no quiero pantalones. Quiero calcetines," insisted the man.

"These sweaters are top quality," the salesgirl probed. "No, no quiero sueter. Quiero calcetines," said the man.

"Our undershirts are over here," fumbled the salesgirl, beginning to lose patience. "No, no quiero camisetas. Quiero calcetines," the man repeated.

As they passed the underwear counter, the man spotted a display of socks and happily grabbed a pair. Holding them up he proclaimed, "ยกEso sรญ que es!"

"Why didn't you just spell it in the first place?!" yelled the salesgirl.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 90
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/cyberentomology
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A salesman said his windows were unbreakable, so I punched one. That hurt, but not nearly as much as the window falling off the display and landing on my head. Unfortunately I can't sue...

...they were advertised as double-pain windows after all.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/VeryOriginalName98
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My wife and I were walking into the supermarket when we saw cherries prominently displayed near the entrance.

Looking at the price, I said to her, "Damn, they're cherribly expensive!".

๐Ÿ‘︎ 32
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/dudecancode
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
saw this meme on my kkkk display
๐Ÿ‘︎ 77
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/thelonepirate_
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
What does a clock do when itโ€™s hungry?

It goes back four seconds.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 11k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/remoonl
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How does a painter display his masterpiece?

Easely.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/FinalCaveat
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itโ€™s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itโ€™s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I donโ€™t think itโ€™s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

Thereโ€™s a new type of broom out, itโ€™s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels canโ€™t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, itโ€™s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldnโ€™t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didnโ€™t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit โžก

๐Ÿ‘︎ 20
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/communist_scumbag
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Attire on display
๐Ÿ‘︎ 11
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/bishkink
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 12 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
It used to bug me that all my clocks only displayed hours and minutes.

Then someone told me about second-hand stores!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 12
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/urbanek2525
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 08 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Why do British people display such an inviting behaviour?

Because they add U to everything

๐Ÿ‘︎ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/dubaidadjokes
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A stealth fighter on display
๐Ÿ‘︎ 79
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/kkwong2003
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Tip of the day: The toilets at Lowes are just for display.

(they should put signs on those, or something..)

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/MagicGuy66
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Happy New Year's!
๐Ÿ‘︎ 3k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/damiansouthpaw
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Shakespeare's Pencil

The British Museum has a display that holds a pencil that belonged to Shakespeare...

Unfortunately it's so chewed up that they can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B

๐Ÿ‘︎ 30
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/dgtrekker
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Takes a lot of balls to put up this kind of display

https://i.imgur.com/XSiYicg.jpg

๐Ÿ‘︎ 12
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/santa_fantasma
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A local fast food joint had a grand opening with a fireworks display...

There were lots of Sonic booms that night.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/thomasbrakeline
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A man rushed to dial 911 one evening when his wife displayed early signs of a stroke.

"Don't worry, sir," reassured the dispatcher. "Emergency services are on their way. Just try to remain calm and stay with her until they arrive."

"How long will the ambulance be?" the man asked.

"About eighteen feet," replied the dispatcher.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 30
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Muchacho1994
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Just got the results of my assessment to be part of the air display team

I passed with flying colours

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/GaryTheKnight
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
This story is about a man called Trevor, and his obsession with tractors.

Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevorโ€™s love for tractors.

Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.

Trevorsโ€™s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.

The hedges in Trevorโ€™s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.

Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.

Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasnโ€™t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.

One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.

Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.

โ€œWellโ€ said Jeff, โ€œAs Iโ€™m sure you know the convention comes to town laterโ€.

The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.

โ€œYes of courseโ€ replied Trevor

... keep reading on reddit โžก

๐Ÿ‘︎ 9
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ShredderSte
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My son displayed dad joke sense at an early age...

Son (6 years old): Daddy, how many senses do we have?

Me: We have 5 senses.

Son: No, daddy, 6: a sense of smell, a sense of taste, a sense of touch, a sense of see, a sense of hear, and [with a big smile] a sense of humour.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2k
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/sternvern
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 17 2014
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
My new years RESOLUTION is to run a 5k... Display
๐Ÿ‘︎ 102
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/onesmallserving
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 04 2015
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
In tents armor display i.reddituploads.com/9b38aโ€ฆ
๐Ÿ‘︎ 96
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Stretch_Aye
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 25 2016
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
An electric, rotating door that displays the news has been invented.

It's a shocking turn of events.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 111
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/hectice_raine
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 24 2017
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
The display at the Levis-Strauss museum showed the entire dungarees' history.

It was a thorough exhibition of the jean-ealogy.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/thomasbrakeline
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 08 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Poor Bart eventually caught Coronavirus..

...He was displaying the usual Simpsons.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 6
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I just finished reading an article about public displays of American patriotism. It was very impressive.

After I was done, I pointed at it and yelled, โ€œYou essay! You essay!โ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 12
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 18 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I went to get my face casted a month in advance so I could be put on display in a wax museum.

I think I was getting ahead of myself.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 7
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/theamiabledude
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 13 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I was at the mall and this dad walked past a display car

He turned to his daughter and said "I don't think they're supposed to park here"

๐Ÿ‘︎ 16
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/BurtKusch51
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 10 2017
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I let my son wear a Liverpool jersey today. So far heโ€™s been kicked, punched and spit at...

...itโ€™ll be interesting to see what happens when he leaves the house.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 44
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Cormac-Dockry
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
How did the painter display his master piece?

Easely

๐Ÿ‘︎ 39
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/univarseman
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 05 2017
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
Sandals on Display

Customer was looking through the sandals, saw one on display she liked and needed help finding it's its pair in a box.

Cust: I need help finding it's match.

Me: You need help looking for it's sole mate?

๐Ÿ‘︎ 18
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Kuebic
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 16 2016
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itโ€™s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itโ€™s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I donโ€™t think itโ€™s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

Thereโ€™s a new type of broom out, itโ€™s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels canโ€™t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, itโ€™s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldnโ€™t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didnโ€™t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit โžก

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I wanted to buy the new Apple Pro Display but I only have $4999...

I canโ€™t stand it!

๐Ÿ‘︎ 38
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/impulsive-ideas
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 06 2019
๐Ÿšจ︎ report
I went to a zoo that only had one dog on display

It was a Shih Tzu

๐Ÿ‘︎ 18
๐Ÿ’ฌ︎
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/JPugzz
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 13 2018
๐Ÿšจ︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.