I recently opened a building with an exhibition of dermatological skin cases.

It’s a real gallery of the fine warts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/C0NSTABEL
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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How is Rick & Morty like an exhibition for a popular Dutch cheese?

Eet's a gouda show!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bugbrain_04
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2017
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Danny Brown's latest album was titled Atrocity Exhibition, after a Joy Division song.

The Joy Division song was in turn named after a novel by J. G. Ballard. This makes 'The Atrocity Exhibition' the book the song the album is named after is named after.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedKoiBlueKoi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2017
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Will Smith has a new art exhibition opening

It's called the Fresh Prints of Bel Air.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StephenHunterUK
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2017
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A French painting exhibition at my local museum just closed...

...they must have received a CΓ©zanne desist

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlsoAnAngiosperm
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2016
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At the museum they're beginning to disassemble the mummies exhibit.

I guess that's a wrap then.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gherkinstein
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
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I went to the zoo the other day. One of the new exhibits was a piece of toast in a cage. I asked the zookeeper "what's that all about?" He said...

"Its bread in captivity"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DurtyStopOut
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
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Dad, what does that graveyard-exhibit showcase?

Remains to be seen

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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My bff and I want to go to a local art exhibit. Terrible art puns ensue
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GunShopMom
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
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My wife and I went to the Museum of Medicine and we were browsing the exhibits...

Wife: "Look, they used to treat pain with willow bark".

Me: "I'll give that one 3 stars".

Wife: "This one is about the invention of antibiotics".

Me: "I'll give it 8 out of 10".

Wife: "Apparently, they used give people cowpox to protect them from smallpox".

Me: "Definitely 2 thumbs up".

Wife: "Why do you keep doing that?".

Me: "I'm the curator of this museum"!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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So there was this zookeeper...

(This probably makes more sense if you're British.)

Doing his rounds one day and when he got to the bird enclosure he noticed a load of the birds had died. Unsure as to what he should do with the bodies he tossed them into the big cat exhibit.

The next day he was cleaning out the primates and noticed the lifeless figure of an ape laying on the floor... not wanting to perform a proper burial and besides- he wasn't earning much more than minimum wage anyway so he tossed it into the big cat enclosure.

On his third day the zookeeper came across his colleague who kept bees, it seems they'd got sick and a lot of the hive had perished. Not to worry, the zookeeper scooped them onto a shovel and tossed them into the big cat exhibit. It's the circle of life he thought to himself.

The next day there was a lot of excitement in the zoo. A new lioness had arrived. The lioness stalked out of the trailer...sniffed at the unfamiliar lion next to her...

"So, what's the food like in this place then?" She asked awkwardly.

"It's actually not that bad" replied the lion. "Over the past few days we've had Finch, chimps and mushy bees"

Badum tssss! Β―_(ツ)_/Β―

Yeah, for any non brits that read all that: Fish, chips and mushy peas is a classic English dish. So...yeah...that's the joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FananaBartman
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
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Why did the cheese go to jail?

He was exhibiting bad brie-havior

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πŸ‘€︎ u/witch-bitch-
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
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I went to the zoo and all I saw was a single loaf of bread in the middle of one exhibit

The zookeeper told me it was bread in captivity.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Copey85
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2019
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It was a it concerning that the zoo had such a low fence for the Bobcat exhibit. We knew we were safe when we realized it was distracted by the Deere next door.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bettaa
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
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Went to a small pop-up exhibit on hornets...

Two bee fair, it was alright.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dewmangroup
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2020
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My wife and 3yo son were at the zoo looking at the otter exhibit...

it was apparent they couldn’t find the otters, when I walked up and said β€œthere must be either one or three of them in there.” Wife says β€œwhy not two?” I reply, β€œwell, they wouldn’t put an even number of ODDERS in there!”

Wife is still shaking her head.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/5d2248650
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
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I took my cow to an art exhibit.

She really loved the moosaics.

Edit: moosaics instead of mosaics

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rqstaz
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
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The otter exhibit at my local zoo is empty. They must have otter things to do.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tale_of_tejon
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2017
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What did the British Museum Director say in the Egyptian exhibit?

I want me Mummy!

I came up with this lame joke myself, not sure if it counts as a dad joke... but most dad jokes are lame, and it's a lame joke, so... yeah!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JaninnaMaynz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2019
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The Earthquake portion of the museum had to close early today, scientists concluded that the exhibit was faulty.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/freshescobar
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2018
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Went to the zoo with my dad and he kept making fun of the hippo exhibit

I wish he wouldn’t be so hippo-critical

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfkas10
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
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I read earlier that the zoo was installing an exercise equipment addition to the marine mammal exhibit to help make the animals stronger.

They're going to have a bunch of flex seals on their hands.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SchitzPopinov719
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
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This story is about a man called Trevor, and his obsession with tractors.

Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.

Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.

Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.

The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.

Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.

Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.

One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.

Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.

β€œWell” said Jeff, β€œAs I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.

The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.

β€œYes of course” replied Trevor

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShredderSte
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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I ducked under the rope
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notnickyc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
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Did you hear that the pandas escaped their exhibit at the zoo?

It was panda-monium.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2018
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Did you hear about the guy that was opening his chamomile and got into an accident on the way to the dinosaur exhibit?

I guess you could say that tea wrecks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mingonius
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2018
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There was a clothing art exhibit in my town's shopping centre. Someone made a pyramid of jeans. Pure artistic jean-ious if you ask me.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Paskill
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2013
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A man went to a zoo. All they had to exhibit was a dog.

It was a shih tzu.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Martys_
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2018
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At the zoo viewing the lion exhibit, the urge to suddenly sing β€œthe lion sleeps tonight” is just a whim away...

A whim away, a whim away, a whim away!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SerbianTarHeel
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2018
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At the art museums today, looking at a Monet exhibit, my dad said "these paintings are priceless..."

"They must cost a lot of Monet!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hornwalker
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2017
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I went to the seatbelt exhibit of the car museum the other day.

It’s fastenating really.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Domthehuman1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2018
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It finally got to the point that the zoo had to get rid of the beaver exhibit

They just weren't worth a dam.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tylerjfrancke
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2018
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I went to a zoo the other day. They didn't have any animals in their exhibits except for one dog...

It was a shih tzu.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YoungMuppet
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2018
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You have to go to the Aquatic mammals exhibit when you're stoned

It's a hippopotamust

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaxPaw
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2018
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Dadjoked my son at the planet exhibit of the National Air and Space Museum.

12 year old son: "Did you know Venus is the hottest planet in the solar system?"

Me: "Did you know Venus is the only planet whose name rhymes with 'penis'?"

The best part was my wife and kids trying to stifle their embarrassed laughter around the museum visitors. :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/goconrad
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2016
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The San Diego Zoo has a pretty cool bobcat exhibit. (Xpost from r/funny)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigmrt
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2013
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[Pun request] Bubbles

Next week the museum I work at begins a three-week run of what we call Bubblefest. There will be bubbles everywhere, a bubble laser show, all kinds of exhibits and interactive shows explaining some of the science involved with bubbles. So I need some jokes and puns to replace the old standby of "my pop is bigger than your pop!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chilehead
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
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My son got me a good one

We were at an exhibition, and there was an Army Ambulance with a practice dummy on a trolley hanging out the back. He turned to me and said

.

.

.

Look, Plastic Surgery!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheUmpteenth
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2017
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I went to a zoo recently

It wasn’t very impressive. They had a bunch of exhibits but they were all basically empty and the only animal I found in the place was a dog. I think it was a shitzu

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
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I don’t understand stupidity.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jhabibs
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2018
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Some sentences are better left unsaid.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scipio_aurelius
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2018
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Grandfather’s ties

My grandfather was a farmer and he loved getting dressed up every year for the local fair and exhibiting his prize chickens.

For this occasion, my grandmother would spend the entire year searching through thrift shops looking for silly neckties for him to wear, and she loved finding ones with chickens on them.

When he died a couple of years ago, he bequeathed them to me in his will. When my grandmother handed me the bag full of them, my eyes welled with tears and I smiled thinking about my grandfather looking in the mirror and straightening his tie.

Why am I telling you all of this back story? Because the last time I tried to tell this to someone and I didn't give context, they thought it was weird that I was so excited about inheriting my dead grandfather's hen tie collection.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kingy7777
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2019
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Have you heard about the zoo with only one exhibit and it's a dog?

It's a shih tzu

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KzooRichie
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2016
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