Here’s a Spanish joke: Did you hear that Mexicans created a machine that dispenses fish?

They call it a pez dispenser

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GDGameplayer
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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I put the last roll of toilet paper on the dispenser today.

Shits just got real.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RobMV03
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2020
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For the life of me, I could not get the sweet tea dispenser to work during my lunch.

I was having some difficultea.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Gnome
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
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What do you call a blockage in an ice dispenser?

An obstruction of justice.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NairodI
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
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I found a cutlery dispenser that doesn’t work properly

No forks were given

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TannedCroissant
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2018
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Did you hear about the machine powered using marbles that dispenses cinnamon while playing a short song?

They call it the "Marble Cinna-matic Uni-verse"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BunzarTheFuzzy
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2019
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What do you call a water dispenser that only fills the glass half full?

An optimist prime

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πŸ‘€︎ u/3HeadedBitch
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
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They just reloaded the coin change machine, but it won’t dispense coins..

It doesn’t make any cents.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drumad_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2018
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I couldn't figure out how to use the soap dispenser

Then it dawned on me.

Got my girlfriend with this one at her family gathering.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/postfontaine67
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2016
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Me every time I walk up to someone's fridge to get ice from the dispenser, I purposely set it to water and yell....

...."I think your refrigerator is broken. This ice is coming out melted!"

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2016
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Someone drew this and stuck it on a napkin dispenser in the campus pub
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElderCunningham
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2014
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More U.S. Presidents were born in Virginia than any other state.

I guess you could say it's a Prez dispenser.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
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Drink machine at a gas station imgur.com/a/aeCjgcu
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MachoManShark
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2018
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The first time I genuinely laughed at a customer’s joke

The new Aquaman Pez dispenser looks like Jesus. A man was checking out, picked it up and said. Man: is this a Jesus Pez dispenser Me: no that’s Aquaman Man: Oh wow I guess all fish no loaves huh

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
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Little brother dadjoked me in Target

LB: Why are the soda dispensers out of order?

Me: Something is broken and it hasn't been fixed yet.

LB: But they can just reorganize it!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pompous512
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2014
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I was out for lunch with my girlfriend today…

And we found ourselves more interested in the napkin dispenser than we probably should have. It occurred to us that there was an industry in these dispensers, and we should join it and crush the competition.

I quipped, "Yes. We need to make our own napkin empire, and beat the Ottoman Empire."

She said that joke could and should become famous.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jelvinjs7
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2015
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Dad joking dad's at the local gas station.

Dad's: "I'll have Marlboro reds in a box."

I begin to scan the cigarette dispensers with a concerned face. Moving my hands across the different packs I say,

"Sure you don't want them in a jar? Or how about Tupperware?"

If it makes dad's groan, I'll probably make a great grandfather.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crispyjay
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2014
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My GF's grandfather is the master of Dad Jokes

The other day I am hanging at my GF's Grandparent's home when all of a sudden her grandpa takes a bunch of tape from their tape dispenser and just puts it on to his ear. Obviously very confused my GF goes "Grandpa what are you doing?" to which he responds "Oh, just listening to my tape"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ssccoottaa
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2013
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Got a few of my fellow employees

Well I wait tables in a local restaurant, while opening one morning the the un-sweet tea dispenser was not working. The dishwasher was able to fix it and brought it back out to the drink station. I then thanked him by saying "Unsweet, thanks!" The entire back of house face palmed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DamnProudpsk
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2014
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