...Colby
Me: "What's wrong, didn't it go well?"
Son:"No it didn't, she flat out rejected me. I did so much to plan this so all of it goes well, I called her to the fancy restaurant near that giant wall that holds the water and brought the best bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates too but she still said that she likes me only as a friend."
Me: "Dam son"
The plot was predictable. The special f(x) was terrible.
...that the band 'Toto' was not made up of former members of the band 'Kansas'.
it will only let me watch episodes 1, 2, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13
I thought I'd just put the Fila's out there
I thought that was their Maine attraction.
The finale wasn’t a cliffhanger.
And they aren't willing to sell me any of their yard.
because it was just warm bread.
First Window staffer, who takes the payment: "Hi, it's $7.30 (said like 'seven-thirty')
My Father: "No it's not, it's only 1 o' clock"
My performance was really subpar.
He offered me coffee.
They had raised her butter.
I just visited their wireless section and didn't see a single LG BT device
Just Dew It
It was a shih tzu
But it’s the fort that counts.
One says "Quick show him your cross"
The other priest crosses his arms and says "I'm so disappointed in you"
He was a bison.
A weedwacker.
A woman walked into the kitchen one day and saw, much to her horror, her husband sitting at the table with blood all over most of his face, his chest, hands, arm, and on the table. She watched for a moment, shocked, as he began pouring barbeque sauce on his arm where most of the blood was coming from.
"Stop that! What are you doing!? What happened to your arm?!" She finally managed to scream as she unjammed all the words trying to flow out at once.
Her husband looked at her with a disgusted frown and a shake of his head and replied "I've made a terrible me-steak"
She didn’t want to hear stories about my rooster.
And inside she finds a deed to an undeveloped plot of land that is zoned residential. Disappointed, she sets the deed down and says, "I don't want a lot for Christmas!"
I was disappointed by how he looked down on everyone else.
It was a Shih Tzu
Hopefully I'll C Major improvement!
Not a single bird grew after I planted it.
A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night? The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a very strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, We can't tell you. You're not a monk.
The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, The same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks again accept him, feed him, and again fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, We can't tell you. You're not a monk.
The man says, All right, all right. I'm dying to know.
If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?
The monks reply, You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles, when you find these numbers, you will become a monk. The man sets about his task. Some 54 years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery.
He says, I have traveled the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.
The monks reply, Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.
The monks lead the man to a wooden door where the head monk says, The sound is right behind that door. The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked.
He says, Real funny. May I have the key? The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone.
The man demands the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it.
Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire, And so it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst.
Finally, the monks say, This is the last key to the last door.
The man is relieved to know that he has finally reached to the end.
He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound.
But he can't tell you what it is because you're not a monk.
"I Reddit."
Me: clenches fist
Wife: don’t you dare
Me: face turns red
Wife: ........
Me: hi Gay, I’m dad.
All they were throwing were high jabs.
He was looking into meteor showers.
And immediately leaves, disappointed.
The plot was predictable. The special f(x) was terrible.
The plot was predictable, and the special f(x) was terrible.
