Two cats are having a swimming race. One is called β€œOne Two Three”, the other β€œUn Deux Trois”. Which cat won?

β€œOne Two Three” because β€œUn Deux Trois” cat sank.

πŸ‘︎ 210
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LindsayLoserface
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
An American cat named β€˜One-Two-Three’ and a French cat named β€˜Une-Deux-Troi’ are in a swimming race. Why did the American cat win?

Because Une-Deux-Troi quatre cinq.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Duzervee
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
🚨︎ report
French guy, showing off his yacht collection: This is Un. Here is Deux, Trois, Quatre and, finally, Six.

Her: Where is the 5th?

French guy: Cinq.

πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Un deux trois 🐱
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/riiisa
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do dogs float in water?

Because they are good buoys.

πŸ‘︎ 255
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cumsock17
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is the Supreme Leader of North Korea number 1.

Because he is Kim Jong-Un, not Kim Jong-Deux.

Plus his father passed away since he was Kim Jong-ill.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/d0k37
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
🚨︎ report
I heard Kim Jong Un's father died.

I didn't even know he was il

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StewPaddasso
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2017
🚨︎ report
I see your one egg is an oeuf joke... (https://old.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/holwt9/why_do_the_french_never_have_two_eggs_for/)

But remember the real reason is because they don't deux-oeuf it.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ARobertNotABob
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
If Kim Jong Un were to die, what would be his succeeder's name?

Kim Jong Deux

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jub18
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the Frenchman only eat one egg for breakfast?

Because one egg is un oeuf.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/djeclipz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Kim Jong Un isn’t alive...

They’re using Kim Jong Deux

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stolensupra
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a French guy attacked by a cat?

CLAUDE!! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/macksmiff95
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2017
🚨︎ report
What is an English to French dictionary called?

A Two-Deux list.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2018
🚨︎ report
If you thought Kim Jong Un was exciting...

just wait until you meet Kim Jong Deux!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/draxa
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2014
🚨︎ report
What is the name of Kim Jong-un's son?

Kim Jong-deux

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jesuisgroot11
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2018
🚨︎ report
Rumours are that Kim Jong-un is losing power.

Replacing him will be his brother and most senior official, Kim Jong-deux.

πŸ‘︎ 79
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cfard
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2014
🚨︎ report
French dadjoke that stumped Will Shortz on NPR

Heard this one on the radio during the Sunday Puzzle segment on NPR's Weekend America yesterday. A grandfatherly contestant on the program (named GΓ©rard) asked this riddle of NYTimes puzzlemaster and Yale enigmatologist Will Shortz:

"Two cats are competing to see who would win in a race swimming across the English Channel. The cats' names are One-Two-Three Cat and Un-Deux-Trois Cat. Who won?"

Shortz was stumped. The contestant answered the riddle saying:

"The English cat, One-Two-Three Cat won because Un-Deux-Trois-Quatre-Cinq."

πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bachrock37
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2014
🚨︎ report
Kim Jong-Un's pretty cool but I'd like to meet his siblings

Kim Jong-Deux and Kim Jong-Trois

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clbull
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2017
🚨︎ report
Obviously, I made love to the french girl twice.

deux!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/darksedan
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2016
🚨︎ report
My 7yo son was watching me play Overwatch the other day. My team lost so the game said "Defeat". I said "why would they say that, everyone in the game has two feet."

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

My son speaks french.

"Defeat" sounds almost exactly like "Deux feet".

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NerdMachine
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2016
🚨︎ report
My daughter posted a story to Facebook about Kim Jong-un missing in North Korea...

I replied, "He isn't missing, he's just undergoing maintenance and will be back soon as the upgraded version, Kim Jong-deux!"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EngineerBill
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2014
🚨︎ report
Two cats had a race across a river. Their names were "One Two Three" and "Un Deux Trois". Which one came first?

"One Two Three" did cos "Un Deux Trois" cat sank.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ABisset
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
🚨︎ report
There were once two cats. They were called One Two Three and Un Deux Trois. They had a race across a stream. One Two Three won. Why?

Because Un Deux Trois cat sank!

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EmotionallyPained
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Two cats swam across the English channel. One cat was named "One Two Three", the other "Un Deux Trois".

The "One Two Three" cat made it, but the "Un Deux Trois" cat sank.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Se7enineteen
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2017
🚨︎ report
Two cats, One Two Three and Un Deux Trois have a race across the English Channel. Who won?

Two cats, One Two Three and Un Deux Trois have a race across the English Channel. Who won? One Two Three, because Un Deux Trois Quatre Cinq!

Told by my physics teacher, who is a dad himself.

PS: If you don't know French numbers

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jaredjeya
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2014
🚨︎ report
An English cat and a French cat tried to swim across a creek.

The English cat braced herself, and said β€œOne, two, three!”. The cat swam across. The French cat braced herself, and said β€œUn, deux, troisβ€―!” Cat sank.

πŸ‘︎ 162
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thefizzynator
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2016
🚨︎ report
Two cats are having a swimming race.

One is called β€˜one two three’ and the other is β€˜in deux trois’. Which Cat won the race?

β€˜One two three’ because the β€˜un deux trois’ cat sank.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BigManEB
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2018
🚨︎ report
Two cats decide to have a boat race

One is called "one two three", the other is called "un deux trois". Who won?

"One two three" won because "un deux trois" cat sank

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pablopharm
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Two cats are racing in the water

One cat was named "One Two Three", the other cat was named "Un Deux Trois". Which cat won?

One Two Three, because Un Deux Trois cat sank.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ComputerChaosKid
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2018
🚨︎ report
Two Cats swimming the English Channel

Two Cats swimming the English Channel to France, one was called One Two Three and the other Un Deux Trois

which cat made it?

One Two Three because Un deux trois Cat Sank

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aontroim
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2015
🚨︎ report
England and France raced two cats across the Channel

They were named One Two Three, and Un Deux Trois.

England won; The Un Deux Trois Quatre Cinq.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pupmup
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2014
🚨︎ report
What will Kim Jong Un name his kids?

Kim Jong deux and Kim Jong trois

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/engoac
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2014
🚨︎ report

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