A recent study of rocking chairs indicated that certain parts of the world do far less rocking than the United States while specific countries do...
Mo-roccan.
This joke provided by dads giving babies a bottle in a rocking chair early in the morning.
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︎ May 21 2021
Was your waist the 16th president of the United States?
...cause those hips donβt lie
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︎ Apr 06 2021
What do you say to The President Of The United States when he leaves abruptly?
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︎ Mar 29 2021
How much does the entire United States cost?
Nothing, because it's a free country
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︎ May 25 2021
Why did the Koala immigrate to the United States?
Because he wanted the right to bear arms.
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︎ May 22 2021
What do you call a bee that is from the United States
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︎ Apr 26 2021
United States of BEE
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︎ Mar 15 2021
What did the Commanding General of the United States Army say after having his budget approved?
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︎ Dec 08 2020
BREAKING: The United States, after mistaking it for an Iranian submarine, has struck a utility submarine with an underwater torpedo that was en route to displace the shipping carrier blocking the Suez Canal, killing all 169 aboard
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︎ Mar 28 2021
Now that Donald Trump is no longer President, the United States is experiencing post-nut clarity.
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︎ Jan 26 2021
Donald Trump is currently organizing pigeons against the united states government.
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︎ Feb 10 2021
News broke today that due to salmonella concerns, there is a national recall on just about every type of onion in the united states...
To be honest, I'm not shedding any tears over it.
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︎ Aug 03 2020
Missouri has the most bordering states (8, tied with tennessee) out of any of the 50 United States of America. You know what they say, Missouri loves company.
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︎ Dec 07 2017
What was the 16th president of the United States told before the dinner party?
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︎ Feb 18 2020
TIL The 1st United States Volunteer Cavalry, one of three such regiments raised in 1898 for the SpanishβAmerican War, had dogs to go with them...
The were The Ruff Riders.
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︎ Jul 01 2020
Watt is the unit of power?
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︎ Apr 27 2021
My friend tried to ride his horse from Maine to the Southwestern United States for a type of bean but was hit by an older Ford...
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︎ Jun 09 2020
Just watched an episode of 24 where Jack Bauer had to decide to either help the cartel transfer cannabis crystals into the U.S within 24 hours or they would blow up the Gulf Coast states.
...It was Kief or Southernland
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︎ Jun 29 2021
I hear the United States is well stocked for a bird-of-prey flu epidemic...
There are plenty of ill eagle drugs for just such emergency.
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︎ Jan 19 2020
We need to add three more states to the United States of America
53 states would make it a prime number; One nation, indivisible.
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︎ May 18 2017
The United States Postal Service got jokes
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︎ Aug 10 2020
What state in the US drinks the smallest cans of soda?
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︎ Apr 21 2021
My office space is a cubicle, president of the United States has an oval.
Someone has been cutting corners.
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︎ Jul 31 2018
If the United States annexed all of Canada and multiplied itβs area by two, what would you get?
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︎ Dec 06 2019
Last week, a freshman secret service officer stopped an assassination attempt on the president of the United States by screaming βMickey Mouseβ!
When his superior congratulated him for the arrest, he asked βWhy did you scream Mickey Mouse?β And the secret serviceman said βI was trying to say Donald Duck!β
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︎ Mar 11 2019
The police just showed up at my house and arrested my bottle of water. They said he was wanted in 3 states...
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︎ Feb 09 2021
What unit of measure do pirates use?
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︎ Apr 04 2021
Which branch of military is the most patriotic in the United States?
The Air Force, because they're US AF.
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︎ Dec 29 2018
What's the opposite of Manchester United?
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︎ Mar 29 2021
Reflecting on Prince Philip death, I was chatting with the Mrs and I said, I know Iβm getting a little older, but I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.
She got up, unplugged my laptop and threw out my beerβ¦.
EDIT: Thanks for the kind awards... My first ever! β€οΈ
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︎ Apr 09 2021
My 8 year old sons joke today. Whatβs a girls favorite unit of measurement?
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︎ Apr 15 2021
What's the difference between the United States and United Kingdom
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︎ Jul 13 2020
What is the smartest state in America?
Alabama. It has four Aβs and one B.
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︎ Jul 02 2021
what do you call an air conditioning unit in the capital of the united states?
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︎ Mar 15 2019
How do you call an army unit of babies?
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︎ May 26 2021
Here is present the vampire state building.
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︎ Jun 09 2021
Two drunk guys were about to get into a brawl. One of the guys grabs a stick and draws a line in the dirt and says "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face"
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︎ Jun 29 2021
If someone ever throws something at the President of the United States during an important press conference with other world leaders, what should you scream?
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︎ Nov 24 2018
Grandma is always saying to me ' Hey what's the name of that German guy again who keeps taking my stuff '
Alzheimer, Grandma, it's Alzheimer.
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︎ Jun 23 2021
What do you call a detective dog's party held in the United Arab Emirates?
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︎ May 04 2021
I was throwing darts at a map of the continental united states when I...
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︎ Jun 17 2018
My 8 year old has created a new unit of measument...
She just picked up the squeeze ketchup and said, "I only need one fart of ketchup." She gives the bottle a single squeeze and gets her "one fart."
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︎ Mar 23 2021
What was the 16th president of the United States told before a dinner party?
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︎ Feb 20 2020
Which branch of the United States military is the most patriotic?
The Air Force; they're US AF
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︎ Dec 29 2018
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