At the bottom
Student: “False. It was written in ink.”
My daughter said, "that makes them the founding feathers, dad."
I've never been so proud.
They renamed it the decoration of independence.
It runs in your jeans
“Trump’s Not Down For the Count”
My wife just tells me which ones to wear.
W.H.O. Lets the dogs out!
He found his way to the men's department where a young lady offered to help him. "Quiero calcetines," said the man.
"I don't speak Spanish, but we have some very nice suits over here," said the salesgirl. "No, no quiero trajes. Quiero calcetines," said the man.
"Well, these shirts are on sale this week," declared the salesgirl. "No, no quiero camisas. Quiero calcetines," repeated the man.
"I still don't know what you're trying to say. We have some fine pants on this rack," offered the salesgirl. "No, no quiero pantalones. Quiero calcetines," insisted the man.
"These sweaters are top quality," the salesgirl probed. "No, no quiero sueter. Quiero calcetines," said the man.
"Our undershirts are over here," fumbled the salesgirl, beginning to lose patience. "No, no quiero camisetas. Quiero calcetines," the man repeated.
As they passed the underwear counter, the man spotted a display of socks and happily grabbed a pair. Holding them up he proclaimed, "¡Eso sí que es!"
"Why didn't you just spell it in the first place?!" yelled the salesgirl.
...which was "Thirsty".
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/96/SmirnovVS_KnMihailChern.jpg
Because he de-neigh-ed everything.
They are "not c".
Because the government declared a rock down.
...and ends up on the Island of Trid. The people there are starving and explain to the pastor that it’s because whenever they try to harvest the fruit at the top of the mountain, the nasty giant comes out of his cave and boots them all back down the hill. This infuriates the pastor who then declares that tomorrow he will join them on their next attempt. The next day they all march up the mountain together, and sure enough, out comes the giant who proceeds to kick all of the locals back down the hill leaving only the new guy to gather fruit at his leisure. Finally, he stops and asks the giant, “Well, aren’t you going to knock me off the mountain?”. Shaking his head, the giant says, “Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids”.
As soon as my foot falls asleep, my wife's going to declare me brain dead.
It was his un-due-ing.
Gorilla wharf heir.
Do you have any baggage to declare?
No thanks, just carrion.
I immediately interjected, "Wait: Are you saying dad is a cereal offender‽"
Apparently transparency is very important to them.
(I'll let myself out...)
Ending a sentence with a proposition.
Guess it should have been called Temporary 21...
Yihad!
They're calling themselves the Republic of Catalo-nya.
They have a Bark Mitzvah.
His wife asked, "How do you know?"
"Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."
Don’t miss “Bourne is the King of Israel”
The vote was 10 - 4
A paragraph, because hes too short to be an esse
"Just the wife"
Q.Who declared corona a pandemic? -WHO declared corona a pandemic.
"Man, i love you from my head tomatoes."
"These are grounds for dismissal."
It's an abomination.
"So you're a Protestant."
At the bottom
At the bottom.
W.H.O let the dogs out.
