Why is it pronounced "Bri'ish" if you're from Britain?

Because they drank the 't'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JenovasChild666
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2021
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Why is it pronounced Bri ish in Britain?

Because they drank the t.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/neona07
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
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The doctor told me my dad was pronounced dead today.

I told him I didn’t realize I’ve been saying it wrong all these years.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nameuseruniquea
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
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Who do British people pronounce the word as Bri ish?

Because they drank all the tea

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlastBroFrenzyMan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
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If pronouncing all my "V"s like "B"s, makes me sound Russian...

Then Soviet

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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
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What do you call a man with no vacuum cleaner and itchy underwear ?

Novak Djokovic

(This is my fiancé’s favourite joke he wanted me to share with all of you because he thinks it will make me β€˜Reddit famous’) πŸ˜‚πŸ˜…

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Em1ly121
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2021
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I got some devastating news from the hospital today. My dad was pronounced dead.

I can’t believe I’ve been pronouncing it wrong all this time.

Edit: this joke was straight up stolen from professional comedian Nick Nemeroff. I heard it on the radio so I didn’t have his name handy and thought it was awesome for this sub and had to post it before I forgot it. Thanks to Nick for commenting here below so that I could give him credit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VeryLastBison
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
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True story, just happened, proud of myself: Dog starts barking furiously out of nowhere. Come to the door to see she's startled a pair of guys from a roofing company who've come to fix a hole where squirrels are getting in.

"Sorry about her. Her specialty is also roofing."

Blank stares. My talents are so wasted without kids.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jewyouevenlift
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
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Chemist n Plumber
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2021
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Pandora’s box wasn’t actually a box.

In fact, all the trouble started because it was ajar.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/christiescrubbs
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2021
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Whenever my artistic girlfriend is sad, I let her draw things on my body....

I gave her a shoulder to crayon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iNeedHealing24_7
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2021
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If "womb" is pronounced "woom" and "tomb" is pronounced "toom", then shouldn't "bomb" be pronounced…

"BOOM?!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
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What's the highest rank in the popcorn army?

Kernel

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Breachx4002
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
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Why cant bri'ish people pronounce t?

Because they drank it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eboy_Elmo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is pronounced dead after colliding with a flock of seagulls and a 747 over Madrid.

Eyewitnesses say the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nsh921
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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I found this humerus
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πŸ‘€︎ u/garymattts
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
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Why do British people not pronounce their t's?

They've drunken all of it already.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YourCreepyGramps
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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Damn!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shampoo_and_dick
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
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I tried teaching my cat alphabetical Greek.

All it ever says though is Β΅.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAzrael2013
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2021
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how does an non binary samurai kill pepole..

they/them

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πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
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Pawesome puns
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πŸ‘€︎ u/meow__meg
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
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I can’t stand people who say data we all know it’s pronounced...

Data

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UndeadNineKills
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
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A man goes to the hospital where his dad is hospitalized.

The nurse says, "I am sorry sir your Dad is pronounced dead.

The man says, " I can't believe I have been pronouncing it wrong the whole time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/QualityProof
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2021
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Should've becareful of your speech
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DefNotInTheOven
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
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What kind of chairs do they use in Ireland?

Paddy O’furniture

πŸ‘︎ 639
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
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Why don’t British people pronounce the β€œT” in British?

After the incident in Boston, they don’t want to lose their T’s again.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kennycrab12
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2020
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I now pronounce you husband and wifi

You may kiss the bride goodbye.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rricenator
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
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Ima start spelling weed oui’d cos I can’t say no to it
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shpam-
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
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How do you pronounce β‚©2000 in English?

A Wonton.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tsaot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
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What did Tennessee?

Same thing that Arkansas

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WordenYarmouth
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
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9yo shared this one with me: What do you call a cow who just had a baby?

De-calf-inated!

Edit: it's been pointed out some people pronounce calf as cālf, so its taking a second. Pronounce it like decaffeinated coffee.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Oliumzen
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
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Puns for the name β€œLierin”? (Lee-air-in)

At my high school there’s a tradition for the seniors to get sweatshirts with punny names on the back. I’ve already thought of mine but my friend is at a loss. Her name is Lierin, accent on the second syllable, pronounced β€œLee-air-in”. any ideas?

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πŸ“…︎ May 18 2021
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A Router and a Modem got married.

They were pronounced husbandwidth and wifi.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/psycholepzy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2021
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Two cats are on a metal roof. Which one slides off first?

The one with the lowest ΞΌ

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
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Why is it pronounced Bri ish?

Because they drank the t.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/grippin
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2021
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Why it is pronounced bri ish?

Cuz they drank the T

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingOfHellCrowley
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
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If pronouncing my b's as v's makes me sound Russian,

Then soviet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dankcompany69
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
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If pronouncing my Bs as Vs makes me Russian

Then soviet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strange_An0maly
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
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Why don't British people pronounce the T in British?

Because they already drank all the T!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StupidBear69
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
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If pronouncing my 'b's' as 'v's' makes me sound Russian....

....then Soviet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
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Why do we pronounce it β€œBri’ish”?

Because we drank the tea!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GOR016
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
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I was told that my dad was pronounced dead

I can’t believe I’ve been saying it wrong my whole life

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlabamaMayan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
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If pronouncing my B’s as V’s makes me sound russian...Then soviet.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Roody_killer
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
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Wanna know why british people don’t pronounce the t in british?

Because they drank it all

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chiefm2
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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If pronouncing my b's as v's makes me sound Russian, then soviet.
πŸ‘︎ 30k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2018
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