Why is it pronounced "Bri'ish" if you're from Britain?
Because they drank the 't'
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︎ May 03 2021
Why is it pronounced Bri ish in Britain?
Because they drank the t.
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︎ Apr 09 2021
The doctor told me my dad was pronounced dead today.
I told him I didnβt realize Iβve been saying it wrong all these years.
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︎ Apr 30 2021
Who do British people pronounce the word as Bri ish?
Because they drank all the tea
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︎ Feb 15 2021
If pronouncing all my "V"s like "B"s, makes me sound Russian...
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︎ Sep 13 2020
What do you call a man with no vacuum cleaner and itchy underwear ?
Novak Djokovic
(This is my fiancΓ©βs favourite joke he wanted me to share with all of you because he thinks it will make me βReddit famousβ)
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︎ May 21 2021
I got some devastating news from the hospital today. My dad was pronounced dead.
I canβt believe Iβve been pronouncing it wrong all this time.
Edit: this joke was straight up stolen from professional comedian Nick Nemeroff. I heard it on the radio so I didnβt have his name handy and thought it was awesome for this sub and had to post it before I forgot it. Thanks to Nick for commenting here below so that I could give him credit.
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︎ Apr 22 2020
True story, just happened, proud of myself: Dog starts barking furiously out of nowhere. Come to the door to see she's startled a pair of guys from a roofing company who've come to fix a hole where squirrels are getting in.
"Sorry about her. Her specialty is also roofing."
Blank stares. My talents are so wasted without kids.
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︎ Apr 14 2021
Chemist n Plumber
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︎ Mar 28 2021
Pandoraβs box wasnβt actually a box.
In fact, all the trouble started because it was ajar.
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︎ May 09 2021
Whenever my artistic girlfriend is sad, I let her draw things on my body....
I gave her a shoulder to crayon.
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︎ Apr 12 2021
If "womb" is pronounced "woom" and "tomb" is pronounced "toom", then shouldn't "bomb" be pronouncedβ¦
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︎ May 29 2020
What's the highest rank in the popcorn army?
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︎ Mar 17 2021
Why cant bri'ish people pronounce t?
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︎ Dec 01 2020
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is pronounced dead after colliding with a flock of seagulls and a 747 over Madrid.
Eyewitnesses say the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.
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︎ Dec 25 2020
I found this humerus
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︎ Feb 16 2021
Why do British people not pronounce their t's?
They've drunken all of it already.
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︎ Sep 06 2020
Damn!
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︎ Jan 08 2021
I tried teaching my cat alphabetical Greek.
All it ever says though is Β΅.
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︎ Jun 01 2021
how does an non binary samurai kill pepole..
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︎ May 05 2021
Pawesome puns
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︎ Jan 22 2021
I canβt stand people who say data we all know itβs pronounced...
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︎ Jul 02 2020
A man goes to the hospital where his dad is hospitalized.
The nurse says, "I am sorry sir your Dad is pronounced dead.
The man says, " I can't believe I have been pronouncing it wrong the whole time.
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︎ May 28 2021
Should've becareful of your speech
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︎ Feb 04 2021
What kind of chairs do they use in Ireland?
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︎ Mar 17 2021
Why donβt British people pronounce the βTβ in British?
After the incident in Boston, they donβt want to lose their Tβs again.
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︎ Oct 31 2020
I now pronounce you husband and wifi
You may kiss the bride goodbye.
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︎ Oct 04 2020
Ima start spelling weed ouiβd cos I canβt say no to it
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︎ Feb 21 2021
How do you pronounce β©2000 in English?
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︎ Oct 09 2020
What did Tennessee?
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︎ Jan 31 2021
9yo shared this one with me: What do you call a cow who just had a baby?
De-calf-inated!
Edit: it's been pointed out some people pronounce calf as cΔlf, so its taking a second. Pronounce it like decaffeinated coffee.
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︎ Feb 24 2021
Puns for the name βLierinβ? (Lee-air-in)
At my high school thereβs a tradition for the seniors to get sweatshirts with punny names on the back. Iβve already thought of mine but my friend is at a loss. Her name is Lierin, accent on the second syllable, pronounced βLee-air-inβ. any ideas?
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︎ May 18 2021
A Router and a Modem got married.
They were pronounced husbandwidth and wifi.
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︎ Jun 01 2021
Two cats are on a metal roof. Which one slides off first?
The one with the lowest ΞΌ
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︎ Apr 28 2021
Why is it pronounced Bri ish?
Because they drank the t.
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︎ Apr 10 2021
Why it is pronounced bri ish?
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︎ Apr 09 2021
If pronouncing my b's as v's makes me sound Russian,
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︎ Jan 22 2021
If pronouncing my Bs as Vs makes me Russian
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︎ Mar 12 2021
Why don't British people pronounce the T in British?
Because they already drank all the T!
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︎ Feb 22 2021
If pronouncing my 'b's' as 'v's' makes me sound Russian....
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︎ Jan 31 2021
Why do we pronounce it βBriβishβ?
Because we drank the tea!
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︎ Feb 06 2021
I was told that my dad was pronounced dead
I canβt believe Iβve been saying it wrong my whole life
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︎ Sep 18 2020
If pronouncing my Bβs as Vβs makes me sound russian...Then soviet.
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︎ Aug 25 2019
Wanna know why british people donβt pronounce the t in british?
Because they drank it all
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︎ Nov 18 2020
If pronouncing my b's as v's makes me sound Russian, then soviet.
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︎ Aug 27 2018
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