Decently Puns

It's in tents!

(technically tents would not make a legitimate Sukkah, but they do make decent puns)

They're always dropping the ball.

I like Sony and Yamaha.

Just an average joe.

The food was decent, but there was no atmosphere whatsoever

I prefer the term “four-chin teller“.

Ok boomerang.

I counted 13 inaccuracies on my right hand alone

Now I’m their landlord and I collect rent from my tenants.

He's kind of a big dill

Now if you had one you'd be making pennies.

Their egg is a bit of a yjoke, to be honest

They have no cents

He replied "Car no do that, car no fly"

Civil Engineers.

Keanu is breathtaking, the other one is breadtaking.

I just need a very short pun involving space and dinosaurs to go on the cover of an adventure book im writing for kids.

"A roarsome adventure" is too cliche and I'd like space to be featured somewhere. But there isn't a lot of room.

Thanks for any help, don't worry about them being dumb as a dumb pun could inspire a decent one :)

The ceremony was decent, but the reception was amazing!

I told him it was a satisfactory.

Girlfriend "oh and my credit card is now disabled" Me "is it in a wheelchair or on crutches?"

http://dilbert.com/strip/1991-03-16

Update: Thanks for all your applications! Give /u/parin89 and I a few days to take a look and confer!
(if you haven't put your application in yet, you've still got time)

-

Greetings /r/dadjokes subscribers,

Years have passed since this sub started up, and there are now literally millions of you. Whoa.

Two million people is just two many two handle for two moderators. Especially these days, when both /u/parin89 and I have two many other responsibilities and a whole lot less time. I'm 200% sure most of you would agree that more mods are needed.

So we're looking for 5 more moderators to get involved. If you're keen to apply, read the rest of this post and answer the three questions in your comment response.

Answer these 3 questions in your reply:

1. How would you describe a dad joke?
2. Do you currently moderate any other subreddits? If yes, which ones.
3. You see a post that is not breaking the rules or reddit's posting guidelines, but is generally disliked by the community. What do you do?

Only apply if:

• You're a reasonable, fair-minded and patient human
• You're in it to keep this community a happy, friendly and safe place for other humans
• You've got previous mod experience from a decent sized community (let's say... 5k+)
• You're cool with the first few months being a trial run
• You understand that while we could use more active moderation, and would benefit from a few more rules, one of the things that makes this community great is that it's pretty open (after all, dad jokes repeat a lot and not every "repost" is necessarily an opportunistic attempt to game karma)

We'd benefit from a few practical things as well, it would be great if:

• You live in a timezone that covers off either the USA, the UK, Australia (we'd like a spread)
• You've got some automod experience
• You've got some sub-customisation experience

Don't apply if:

• You're ready to come out swinging with a power tripping ban hammer
• You're more concerned about Internet points than real people

We'll leave this stickied for a week and then come back to message a few people and make some selections.

They are in mint condition after all.

Her: "I remember hearing last year that the Corn Festival in Sun Prairie is pretty fun, want to go?"

Me: "I'm in but it'd better be aMAIZEing"

Excerpt from a book my class is reading:

"...'Say please and thank you nicely and I might let you have some.'

'Please and thank you nicely,' Haroun said quickly."

Haroun must just be saying this to impress his father. I plan to bring it up next class and hopefully get approval for an essay topic regarding dadjokes and their place in literature.

I was drinking in an Irish pub on St. Patrick's Day a few years ago when the building suffered a malfunction. The register cover of the air conditioning vent was not secured to the wall and worked its way loose, hitting me and a friend. I ended up with a cut on my forehead, a spiffy blue bandaid from the kitchen first aid kit, and a comped bar tab.

My dad told me I should have duct.

I was at band practice, and my friend was getting agitated by a bee that was flying around him.

Me:"What're you doing?" Him:"There's a bee that's flying around me and it won't go away." Me: "Well then just let it...be"

It blew my mind—I've been his customer for years and I had no idea he was a barber.

But catscan

Everyone was being very polite, patient and not barging in.

Even between the laughing and joking, the women in front of me insisted that we swap places, so I could get mine first.

I thought to myself at last a decent punchline

....because freedom rings.

Edit: wow this is getting decent attention, Happy Brexit 1776 everyone!

Edit 2: top 50 all time on r/dadjokes and I'm not even a dad yet!

Satisfactory

...the host said where's your costume? The guy said I'm wearing a costume - I'm a snail. The host said you're a snail? The guy said yes, a snail, and pointed to his girlfriend and said this is Michelle.

I came scross a guy selling a plane for cheap. The catch is that it had a bad engine. Well I'm no pilot, yet I am a decent cook. So I gutted the inside and converted into a diner. Im really excited, yet I fear it will never take off.

He replied: "Give me one good reason you'd make a good husband or even a decent father or I'm leaving!"

I said: "Hi leaving I'm John!"

The wedding is next month

Relative humidity.

The meowfia.

You guys didnt know the collective noun for cats is "clowder", right?

His wife asked, "How do you know?"

"Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."

Sony and Yamaha are my favorite.