Dead Man Puns

A list of puns related to "Dead Man"

My local ice cream man was found dead in his garage covered in strawberry sauce and hundreds and thousands.

Police believe he topped himself.

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👤︎ u/BigMF88
📅︎ Feb 16 2021
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A man is found dead in the desert. Cause of death appeared to be dehydration. The police go to his mother's house.

"Ma'am you son dried "

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👤︎ u/fighting_astronaut
📅︎ Dec 16 2020
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Did you hear about the man selling dead birds for $4000

Not going cheep

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👤︎ u/jdollard333
📅︎ Jun 21 2020
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So after becoming a father, my dad and I were talking about how we couldn’t believe any man would walk away from his kids. My dad says dead beat isn’t a good enough name so he asks me what they should be called. I said:

A joke, dad.

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👤︎ u/tjmaxal
📅︎ Jun 29 2020
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News: 1 man dead after being held hostage at gun point today

"You think these people would learn to stop hanging out at gun point already"

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👤︎ u/Toilet_Time_Material
📅︎ Apr 10 2020
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A Nigerian man was found dead last night and authorities found $ 50 000 000 in his apartment...

...apparently he had been trying to give it away for almost 20 years, but nobody would return his emails.

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👤︎ u/tgglas
📅︎ Feb 20 2020
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A scottish man was found dead after a serious bar fight...

The police are still searching for the person who kilt him.

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👤︎ u/DragonFireKitty
📅︎ Jun 29 2019
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Man found dead with no legs FIRST 48: Never stood a chance...
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👤︎ u/joshisgod90
📅︎ Nov 24 2019
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In an Italian funeral a man comes in and say to the dead man...

He pasta away... ripepparoni on this dude

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👤︎ u/beachdoggolovesbepis
📅︎ Apr 25 2019
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What do you call a Japanese man who brings cats back from the dead?

A Nekomancer

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👤︎ u/Hi_im_Nadeem
📅︎ Oct 10 2018
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What do you call a dead Finnish man ?

I don't know, but I can tell that he's Finnished

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👤︎ u/mrsuckdickman
📅︎ Feb 18 2019
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What do you call a dead man floating on a lake?

Bob

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👤︎ u/Headless_05
📅︎ Jul 11 2019
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A man walks into an auto parts store and asks how much for a dead battery.

The cashier says "No charge."

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👤︎ u/brammage8
📅︎ Feb 04 2019
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Wife and I are at my son’s yellow belt ceremony and we see that the grand master’s name is Soon Man Lee, I chuckle she doesnt get why. I look her dead in the eyes, he’s not manly yet, but he will be soon. Now she thinks I’m damaged in some way.
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👤︎ u/Kuchi_Kopi_number2
📅︎ Jun 17 2018
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A controversial British-Indian author was found dead today by a Swiss man today when he opened a can of fish to make a potato cake.

It is believed to be a salmon rosti.

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👤︎ u/epicsnail14
📅︎ Feb 18 2019
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What did the gravestone say to the dead man?

"Your death is written in stone"

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👤︎ u/ThunderAlex2
📅︎ Apr 16 2018
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A man once revived a dead bird with the flu...

And it just flu away...

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👤︎ u/xcitu
📅︎ Dec 31 2013
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Why did the dead man see his primary health care provider?

He was coffin.

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👤︎ u/PM_ME_UR_BoobsOrButt
📅︎ Nov 06 2016
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My old man mailed me to let me know that Bitcoin was dead.

With only this attached.

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👤︎ u/morganj
📅︎ Feb 05 2015
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