My local ice cream man was found dead in his garage covered in strawberry sauce and hundreds and thousands.

Police believe he topped himself.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigMF88
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
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A man is found dead in the desert. Cause of death appeared to be dehydration. The police go to his mother's house.

"Ma'am you son dried "

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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Did you hear about the man selling dead birds for $4000

Not going cheep

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jdollard333
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
🚨︎ report
So after becoming a father, my dad and I were talking about how we couldn’t believe any man would walk away from his kids. My dad says dead beat isn’t a good enough name so he asks me what they should be called. I said:

A joke, dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tjmaxal
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
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News: 1 man dead after being held hostage at gun point today

"You think these people would learn to stop hanging out at gun point already"

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
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A Nigerian man was found dead last night and authorities found $ 50 000 000 in his apartment...

...apparently he had been trying to give it away for almost 20 years, but nobody would return his emails.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tgglas
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2020
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Man found dead with no legs FIRST 48: Never stood a chance...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joshisgod90
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
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A scottish man was found dead after a serious bar fight...

The police are still searching for the person who kilt him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DragonFireKitty
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
🚨︎ report
In an Italian funeral a man comes in and say to the dead man...

He pasta away... ripepparoni on this dude

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
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What do you call a Japanese man who brings cats back from the dead?

A Nekomancer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hi_im_Nadeem
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2018
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What do you call a dead Finnish man ?

I don't know, but I can tell that he's Finnished

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrsuckdickman
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
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What do you call a dead man floating on a lake?

Bob

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Headless_05
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
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A man walks into an auto parts store and asks how much for a dead battery.

The cashier says "No charge."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brammage8
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2019
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Wife and I are at my son’s yellow belt ceremony and we see that the grand master’s name is Soon Man Lee, I chuckle she doesnt get why. I look her dead in the eyes, he’s not manly yet, but he will be soon. Now she thinks I’m damaged in some way.
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2018
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A controversial British-Indian author was found dead today by a Swiss man today when he opened a can of fish to make a potato cake.

It is believed to be a salmon rosti.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/epicsnail14
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
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What did the gravestone say to the dead man?

"Your death is written in stone"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThunderAlex2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2018
🚨︎ report
A man once revived a dead bird with the flu...

And it just flu away...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xcitu
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2013
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Why did the dead man see his primary health care provider?

He was coffin.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2016
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My old man mailed me to let me know that Bitcoin was dead.

With only this attached.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/morganj
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2015
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