Hello Diamondbacks fans,

I participated in /r/baseballoffseason2022's off-season simulation as the Arizona Diamondbacks GM. The sim is an annual tradition where participants act as GMs of the 30 MLB teams and make roster moves in preparation for the upcoming season. Think fantasy baseball, but more realistic and more pointless. This was my 6th year participating, and 4th consecutive year as a different NL West team.

A recap of my off-season moves is below, and the spreadsheet with my roster and moves can be found here.

GOALS

The following were submitted before the sim began and reflect my approach going into the off-season.

>1. We would like to start being a viable contender by 2023. We were the worst team in baseball and play in a division with the best two - 2022 isn't realistic. However, we have several talented players and don't see much benefit from a huge teardown, especially when the other teams in our division will be largely locked into aging cores by 2023-4. To effectuate that,

>2. we will attempt to flip everyone with precisely one year of control remaining. David Peralta and Merrill Kelly should absolutely be gone by the end of this sim at whatever price I can get - both in mid-30s and coming off years that you can't expect to get better in 2022 for a deadline flip. Working towards 1), we will use these players to

>3. acquire prospects at AAA or freshly into MLB debuts (but still rookie eligible, usually). The Diamondbacks have fine starters at quite a few positions, but those are offset by the totally dogshit players they have at other positions and filling the bench. This is a roster that can make room for lots of Seth Beers besides the Seth Beer we have at home. In order to make this space,

>4. we will try to unload the old guys who don't do much for a 2023 contender. We could have Nick Ahmed on the 2023 squad at $10 mil, but who the hell wants that? Dude had a 64 wRC+. We'll use the obvious atmosphere to trim some fat set to be free soon, including but not limited to Ahmed, Bumgarner (sure), maybe a Noe Ramirez, etc. However, don't get confused, because

>5. we will not sell core pieces for anything less than a premium. We're sure that when these piranhas smell blood in the water (bad at marine biology), everybody is going to swarm with offers for Ketel Marte and Zac "The Milkman" Gallen. They better be

Mariners (73-62) @ D-backs (45-91)

First Pitch: 5:10 PM at Chase Field

Line Score - Game Over

Box Score

its week twoooooo

Reds receive: Nick Quintana

Tigers receive: Tucker Barnhart

Orioles receive: Ronaiker Palma

Rockies receive: Pedro Severino

Yankees receive: Mitch Garver and Taylor Rogers

Twins receive: Ken Waldichuck, Ryder Green, Fidel Montero, Austin Wells, Hayden Wesneski

Mariners receive: 3B Nic Ready

Marlins receive: OF Trent Tingelstad

Tigers receive: Eric Filia

Mariners receive: Cleiverth Perez

Marlins receive: C Sam Huff, OF Evan Carter, and a PTBNL (Trevor Hauver or Owen White)

Rangers receive: SP Elieser Hernandez and OF Kameron Misner

Cardinals receive: Luis Gil, Joelys Rodriguez, Joey Gallo

Yankees receive: Paul DeJong, Ian Bedell

Yankees receive: Taylor Ward and Davis Daniel

Angels receive: Andrew Velazquez and Albert Abreu

Dodgers receive: Matt Chapman/Chris Bassitt/A.J. Puk (OAK) Austin Love/Edwin Nunez (STL)

Athletics receive: Andy Pages/Michael Busch/Jose Ramos (LAD) Masyn Winn/Tink Hence (STL)

Cardinals receive: Ryan Pepiot/Mitch White/Garrett Cleavinger (LAD) Vimael Machin/Jordan Diaz/Jonah Bride (OAK)

Jays receive: LHRP Tanner Scott

Orioles receive: OF Randall Grichuk, SS Kevin Smith, RP Adrian Hernandez

Yankees receive: Rafael Ortega

Cubs receive: Miguel Andujar, Estevan Florial, Cooper Bowman

Cubs receive: Eric Hosmer, Robert Hassell III, Jagger Haynes

Padres receive: Kyle Hendricks + $6M in 2022 and 2023, Codi Heuer

Blue Jays receive: Caleb Ferguson

Dodgers receive: Trent Palmer

Rays receive: RHP Damon Casetta-Stubbs, OF George Feliz

Mariners receive: INF Joey Wendle

Mariners receive: P Jojo Romero

Phillies receive: CF Jake Fraley

Brewers receive: Matt Olson, Jhoan Paulino

Athletics receive: Aaron Ashby, Sal Frelick, Jackson Chourio, David Hamilton, Joey Wiemer, Hendry Mendez

Cardinals receive: Jose Marte and Luis Rengifo

Angels receive: Justin Toerner

Mets receive: Mike Clevinger, Wil Myers, $2M in 2022

Padres receive: Mark Vientos, Thomas Szapucki

Rangers receive: Stuart Fairchild

Diamondbacks receive: DJ Peters

Athletics receive: Dylan Moore

Mariners receive: Parker Dunshee and Kyle Virbitsky

Red Sox receive: Adam Frazier

Padres receive: Wilkelman Gonzalez, Chris Murphy

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

The Jeffrey Epstein Mystery Roundtable | Link to article

Six experts on the most intriguing and dangerous unanswered questions.

Shoutout to stupidsuburbs3 for posting a link to this and for pointing out that there seems to be a lot of disinformation. I agree. I wouldn't call all these people experts; much of this article is speculation and opinion rather than based on credible facts.

By Andrew Rice

Last Friday, the prosecution rested its case against Ghislaine Maxwell, the British heiress and former companion of Jeffrey Epstein.

Her trial, in which she stands accused of federal sex-trafficking offenses, was supposed to provide some measure of resolution to the many mysteries surrounding the life and death of Epstein, the superwealthy globetrotting sexual predator who hanged himself (maybe) in a Manhattan jail cell in 2019. Instead, federal prosecutors called just a handful of witnesses and rested their case far earlier than they had predicted before the trial.

“It’s surprising,” says Julie Brown, the Miami Herald reporter whose 2018 investigative series is widely credited with reviving the criminal case against Epstein. The case against Maxwell will rest almost entirely on the testimony of four women who described being sexually abused by Epstein when they were teenagers. That evidence may still weigh heavily enough to convict Maxwell, who is accused of identifying and grooming Epstein’s victims, as well as sometimes joining in his sexual activities. But it will do little to dispel the stench of speculation and conspiracy surrounding Epstein and his highly connected friends. The prosecution made no attempt to explain the origin of Epstein’s wealth, although it did present tantalizing evidence of the lascivious existence he was able to purchase with it.

There were candid snapshots — part of the “vast trove” of photos seized at the time of Epstein’s arrest — of him cavorting with Maxwell on his private jet. There were interior and aerial shots of his personal properties: the 21,000-square-foot mansion on East 71st Street; the 8,000-acre Zorro Ranch in New Mexico; the private Caribbean island of Little Saint James, which features steep cliffs fit for a Bond villain and a “piano pavilion” that resembles an occult temple. Epstein’s personal pilot testified of flying the financier around the w

#Reds @ Cubs - Mon, Sep 06

###Game Status: Final - Score: 4-3 Cubs

###Links & Info

• Current conditions at Wrigley Field: 76°F - Sunny - Wind 7 mph, In From CF

• TV: Reds: Bally Sports Ohio, Cubs: Marquee Sports Network

• Radio: Reds: WLW 700, Cubs: WRTO 1200 (es), 670 The Score

• MLB Gameday

• Game Graphs

I tried to fit all the EU content together as best as I possibly could. Corollaries for each list are outlined below them. Presidents were much harder to attempt to reconcile than PMs due to fixed term limits. Some stories, like the UNIT and Torchwood Audios, had to have dates guessed.

UNIT stories are taken as being set in the years they aired, as per Mawdryn Undead/New Who's dates and assumptions. (I'm not addressing the UNIT dating controversy, I've just taken an interpretation and went with it)

Full (Incomplete) UK PM List in the DWU from 1950 - 2021

- Historical Before This Point

- Winston Churchill (1951-1955)

- Anthony Eden (1955-1957)

- Harold Macmillan (1957-1963)

- Sir Alec Douglas-Home (1963-1964)

- Harold Wilson (1964-1970)

- Edward Heath (1970-1972)

- Jeremy Thorpe (1972-1974)

- Harold Wilson (1974-1975)

- Brenda Jones (1975)

- Shirley Williams (1975-1976)

- James Callaghan (1976-1979)

- Margaret Thatcher (1979-1990)

- Margery Phipps (1990-1992)

- John Major (1992-1997)

- Unnamed Male Prime Minister (1997) (assassinated)

- Lord Greyhaven (1997) (De Facto PM for several weeks)

- Tony Blair (1997-1999)

- Terry Brooks (1999-2000)

- Kenneth Clarke (2000-2002)

- Tony Blair (2002-2006) (Second term)

- Joseph Green/Jocrassa Fel-Fotch Passameer-Day Slitheen (2006) (Only served as acting PM for a day)

- Harriet Jones (2006-2008)

- Harold Saxon (2008)

- Aubrey Fairchild (2008-2009)

- Brian Green (2009-2010)

- Unnamed Female Prime Minister (2010-2013)

- Kenneth LeBlanc (2013)

- Unnamed Female Prime Minister (2013-2014) (Resumed for a second term after Kenneth Le Blanc died)

- Unnamed Male Prime Minister (2014-2015) (presumably David Cameron)

- Daniel Claremont (2015)

- Theresa May (2015-2018)

- Felicity (2018-2019)

- Fiona (2019-2020)

- Boris Johnson (2020-2021)

- Jo Patterson (2021)

Corollaries (UK Prime Minister List)

Jeremy Thorpe and Shirley Williams are said to be Prime Minister contemporaneously with the UNIT stories (Which are assumed here to take place on their airdates as per Mawdryn Undead and most Modern Who references)

In a tweet Jonathan Morris claimed the Prime Minister in Terror of the Zygons or Mawdryn Undead was Brenda Jones, Harriet Jones' auntie. I put this in 1975 (for less than a year) because why not.

Actual dates of Kenneth Le Blanc and Unnamed Female PM are unknown, but are set in the UNIT audios between DotD and S8 (2013 and 2014).

Feli

Do your worst!

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They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Marlene Janet Krause July 8, 1932 - Dec. 9, 2021 Marlene Janet (Kaiser) Krause, 89, passed away peacefully at her home in Portland, Ore., Dec. 9, 2021, surrounded by loving family. Marlene Krause is survived by her three children, Cathy (Tim) Ames of Seattle, John (Sue) Krause of St. Helens, and Dave (Katie) Krause of Spokane; five grandchildren, Derek (Brynn), Ben (Lorin), Tyler, Nick, Emily (Frederik), David and Lauren; three great-grandchildren, Grayson, Theodore, and Landon.Marlene was born July 8, 1932, in Portland, Ore., to Fred and Lillian Kaiser. Marlene and her two brothers were raised in Southeast Portland where they attended and graduated from Franklin High School. There she met her future husband of 62 years, Frank Krause, who preceded her in death in 2015. Just before they were married, Frank enlisted in the U.S. Air Force where they spent two separate tours in Alaska at Elmendorf Air Force base outside of Anchorage. Their last tour of duty ended at Fairchild AFB near Spokane where they retired and lived for the next 40 years. They were the perfect retirement couple who enjoyed summer family and neighborhood barbeques, camping and boating on Priest Lake, and tending to their small vegetable and flower gardens. The winter months would find them skiing at 49 Degrees North, and eventually traveling south with close friends. A constant, regardless of the season, was their decades-old monthly dinners with close friends, known as "the pizza group."Our mother was content and grateful for all aspects of her life, but especially her marriage which exemplified what true love and affection should be between two people. Her devotion to her children helped make her decision to be a stay-at-home mom an easy one. Mom loved all holidays, but her love of Christmas could be seen in every surface covered in Santas, lit garland, and red and green baubles of every shape and kind. But it was her unconditional love for her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren that will be her most lasting legacy. She was all our cheerleaders…asking and expecting nothing in return. Most importantly, our mother taught us how important it was to be curious and interested in the lives of others. Even at the end of her cancer journey, it was not unusual for her to know the sleep patterns of an ER doctor's baby or the goings-on of her loyal and compassionate caregivers' children and grandchildren at Laurel Parc Retirement Community. The thread is apparent. She was the sweet

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Mariners (72-62) @ D-backs (45-90)

First Pitch: 6:40 PM at Chase Field

Line Score - Game Over

Box Score

#Reds @ Brewers - Thu, Aug 26

###Game Status: Final - Score: 5-1 Reds

###Links & Info

• Current conditions at American Family Field: 82°F - Partly Cloudy - Wind 1 mph, Calm

• TV: National: MLBN (out-of-market only), Reds: Bally Sports Ohio, Brewers: Bally Sports Wisconsin

• Radio: Reds: WLW 700, Brewers: Brewers Radio Network, WTMJ 620

• MLB Gameday

• Game Graphs

Please use this thread to discuss anything related to today's game. You may post anything as long as it falls within stated posting guidelines. You may also post gifs and memes, as long as it is related to the game. Please keep the discussion civil.

Discord: https://discord.gg/58eCmUN

Line Score - Final

Box Score

D-backs (25-64) @ Dodgers (54-34)

First Pitch: 7:10 PM at Dodger Stadium

Pitcher Notes

Line Score - Game Over

Box Score

Marlene Janet Krause July 8, 1932 - Dec. 9, 2021 Marlene Janet (Kaiser) Krause, 89, passed away peacefully at her home in Portland, Ore., Dec. 9, 2021, surrounded by loving family. Marlene Krause is survived by her three children, Cathy (Tim) Ames of Seattle, John (Sue) Krause of St. Helens, and Dave (Katie) Krause of Spokane; five grandchildren, Derek (Brynn), Ben (Lorin), Tyler, Nick, Emily (Frederik), David and Lauren; three great-grandchildren, Grayson, Theodore, and Landon.Marlene was born July 8, 1932, in Portland, Ore., to Fred and Lillian Kaiser. Marlene and her two brothers were raised in Southeast Portland where they attended and graduated from Franklin High School. There she met her future husband of 62 years, Frank Krause, who preceded her in death in 2015. Just before they were married, Frank enlisted in the U.S. Air Force where they spent two separate tours in Alaska at Elmendorf Air Force base outside of Anchorage. Their last tour of duty ended at Fairchild AFB near Spokane where they retired and lived for the next 40 years. They were the perfect retirement couple who enjoyed summer family and neighborhood barbeques, camping and boating on Priest Lake, and tending to their small vegetable and flower gardens. The winter months would find them skiing at 49 Degrees North, and eventually traveling south with close friends. A constant, regardless of the season, was their decades-old monthly dinners with close friends, known as "the pizza group."Our mother was content and grateful for all aspects of her life, but especially her marriage which exemplified what true love and affection should be between two people. Her devotion to her children helped make her decision to be a stay-at-home mom an easy one. Mom loved all holidays, but her love of Christmas could be seen in every surface covered in Santas, lit garland, and red and green baubles of every shape and kind. But it was her unconditional love for her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren that will be her most lasting legacy. She was all our cheerleaders…asking and expecting nothing in return. Most importantly, our mother taught us how important it was to be curious and interested in the lives of others. Even at the end of her cancer journey, it was not unusual for her to know the sleep patterns of an ER doctor's baby or the goings-on of her loyal and compassionate caregivers' children and grandchildren at Laurel Parc Retirement Community. The thread is apparent. She was the sweet

Please use this thread to discuss anything related to today's game. You may post anything as long as it falls within stated posting guidelines. You may also post gifs and memes, as long as it is related to the game. Please keep the discussion civil.

Discord: https://discord.gg/58eCmUN

Line Score - Final

Box Score