I used to date a girl who was lactose intolerant.
We broke up because she couldn’t stomach my cheesy jokes.
A friend set me up on a blind date. He said "She's a lovely girl, but there's something you should know. She's expecting a baby"
I felt like a right idiot sitting in a bar wearing nothing but a diaper.
I once went on a date with this lovely girl. I told her that I loved how bubbly she was. For some reason, she broke up with me the next day.
I saw her again 10 years later, and almost couldn't recognise her because she had become so beautiful. Turns out she thought I'd said that I loved how blubbery she was.
Don’t think the girl from take on me should date him.
I made the decision to not date the girl with skin lesions on her face too hastily...
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye
Turns out she was seeing someone else.
Girl: I only date 6 feet guys.
My son wanted some girl advice, so I told him, “If you are intimidated by a date, remember one thing.”
They are just big raisins.
I had a date with a weather girl
I went on a date with a girl called simile. I don’t know what I metaphor.
MY buddy used to date a cross eyed girl until
he found out she was seeing someone on the side
I asked a girl out on a date to a buffet tonight...
She said "no thanks, I have a lot on my plate right now."
How does a new Yorker say their gonna ask a girl out on a date?
I went on a date with a girl who worked at BT. The connection was terrible
What did a depressed person do when a girl agreed to go on a rooftop date?
If I think my son is gay but he dates a girl named Amanda, I’ll know for sure.
Because she’s a man, duh.
I went out on a first date with this girl. We went ice skating but we got kicked out.
We were starting to break the ice.
Scored a date with a hot vegan girl by telling her I worked with animals
I don’t think she’ll be too pleased when she finds out I’m a butcher
I used to date a girl who had 12 breasts
I tried arranging a date with a girl at the gym
I met a girl for a blind date at a Star Wars convention....
I was looking for love in Alderaan places!
Why did the puppet girl said no to going on a date?
She didn’t want to be felt up
I went out with on a date with a girl I haven't seen in a few weeks and since then I have started growing a beard. When I saw her she said the beard was new—
I said yeah I wasn't crazy about it at first either, but it grew on me.
I used to date a girl who had cataracts.
Things were going great until one day she stopped seeing me.
I always take a first date out to a French restaurant. Girls love eating somewhere francy.
What type of girls do firefighters date?
Took a girl named Amy on a date to Dave & Buster's...
(Dave and Buster's is an arcade)
She absolutely beat me at any shooting game we played, as well as basketball. Afterwards I told her, "I figured out why you beat me at basketball and those shooting games. I have terrible aim, but you're a little more Amy."
So my friend accidentally set a date with a guy and a girl on the same night tonight.
I guess you could say he's having a real bi-lemma.
I was on a date with a girl from Africa, we spent the whole night talking in her native language...
We just clicked.. -- Jimmy Carr
Why is it easier to date a Chinese girl?
I once tried to date a girl who was deaf and dyslexic
But she was always sending mixed signals
Anyone have any good rhymes about girls who kiss on the first date?
I went on a date with a girl Nunavut once
She wanted to take it to the next level, but I wasn't really Inuit.
What did the girl mushroom say to the boy mushroom at the end of their first date?
Picking up a girl for a first date
My dad was picking up my mom for their first date. While she was still getting ready, my dad and grandfather were sitting in the living room in awkward silence. My grandmother, cleaning out the refrigerator, said, "Oh! I forgot we had dates in here!" My mother went running to the kitchen exclaiming, "Ohh! Dates!!"
My grandfather looked at my dad and said (deadpan), "Hear that? She's hungry for dates."
My friend wanted advice on what to talk about during his first date with this new girl. I told him to ask her about WiFi.
I hear it's a great way to connect.
I use to date a girl with a lazy eye
But I thought she was seeing someone on the side
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye
Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.
I once went on a date with a cross eyed girl
It turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time
My buddy used to date a cross-eyed girl
Then he found out she was seeing someone on the side.
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye.
Turns out she was seeing someone else.
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