How does the moon cut his hair?
A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree. "You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."
Somebody keeps sending me flowers with the heads cut off
I think I'm being stalked
I ordered a pizza and asked them to cut it into 6 slices
There’s no way I could eat 8
Sometimes, I go down to the hardware store and cut the end off of a wooden plank.
I saw a man that used different cuts of steak to create portraits of people.
It was a rare medium, but well done.
Just heard terrible news, my barber will not be cutting hair any longer.
He is only cutting it shorter these days.
The softball coach had to cut Cinderella from the team
She kept running from the ball
What do you call an Italian car cut in 2?
Ever try to cut a tree?
And your method STIHL doesn't work?
A lumberjack tries to cut down a talking tree...
The tree says, "Wait, but I'm a talking tree!"
Lumberjack says, "Yes, and you will dialogue."
When you don't pay bills and your electricity supply gets cut off, what do you learn?
With great power comes great responsibility
My doctor friend accidently cut himself. I offered to help, but he refused.
I responded, " Fine, suture self".
How does an arborist know what branches to cut?
Why did King Arthur cut off the Black Knight's legs?
That was the only way to de-feet him.
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
A pianist cuts his hand on the notes B, D, and F#. He goes to the doctor and tells him this.
The doctor says The damage looks to B minor.
I learned how to cut down trees with the past tense.
First you see it, then you saw it.
Hey don’t cut your tongue eating that sandwich.
What do you mean?
That cheese is extra sharp
Why should you cut the grass between 12 and 1 in the morning?
Because in the midnight hour, she cried mow, mow, mow...
So quit being Idol.
Dad: "See Junior, George Washington told the truth about cutting down the cherry tree and became Father of our nation. Now did you roll the outhouse into the River?" Junior: "I can not tell a lie, I did it father." Dad said:
"George Washington's father wasn't sitting in the cheery tree when he cut it down, you are grounded for three months!"
A pun that cuts
Bad wooden knives, spoons and forks are called sliverware.
How do you cut a sea in half?
Did you hear about the guy who got his whole left side cut off?
There's not much left of him... but he's all right now
How does Harry Potter cut his sandwiches?
What type of medicine does a clownfish put on a cut?
Nemosporin
My 8 year old daughter came up with this!
What did one butt cheek say to the other?
Together, we can stop this crap.
A Blonde went for a pizza. The chef said would you like it cut into 4 slices or 8? Blonde said 4 please.
There is no way I could possibly eat 8 slices.
I almost cut myself trimming hedges today.
It was shear luck I didn’t.
I had a friend who wanted to be famous. So she cut her body in half and put it in on top of a horse...
Just so she could be the centaur of attention.
I cut my entire lawn except for a single strip down the middle.
What happened to the lumberjack who didn't know what to do with the tree he cut down
My wife made me cut my hair long hair. At first I didn’t like it, but it have to admit
My wife likes to tear off pieces of flatbread, but I had already cut it into quarters with a knife.
guys i just found out what can cut your electrical bill in half
I really don’t mind bad hair cuts.
They always seem to grow on me.
I can cut a log in two just by looking at it.
I know it's hard to believe, but I saw it with my own two eyes.
How does the moon cut his hair?
How does the man in the moon cut his hair?
How does the moon cut his hair?
How does the moon cut his hair?
A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
"You can't cut me down." said the tree. The man responds "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."
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