A chicken crossing the road...

is poultry in motion.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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I absolutely hate crossing t's

Dotting i's is okay since it's just a dot, but t's are where I draw the line.

πŸ‘︎ 358
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joshjodalton
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
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What did Bones say to Captain Kirk at the river crossing?

Dam it, Jim (Be gentle it’s my cake day)

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Guru_in_flannel
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
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I couldn't decide on which side of the road I wanted to use my loom. On the northbound side the southbound side looked better. And upon crossing to the southbound side, the northbound side looked better. The cops soon arrested me for operating under the influence.

They said I was weaving all over the road.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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While crossing the road I saw a truck, then it hit me:

Now I'm dead

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bart00szeq
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
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Every time i drive over a railroad crossing I say there's been a train through here recently do you know how I can tell?

It left it's tracks!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Texgymratdad
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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Animal Crossing [OC]
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wagespages
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
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Railroad crossing without any cars. Spell that without any R’s

T H A T

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KnifeLegend19
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
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My wife volunteers as a school crossing guard.

I tell everyone she’s into human trafficking.

πŸ‘︎ 803
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
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Did you hear about the bag of sugar that was caught illegally crossing the road for the second time that day?

It was refined.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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I heard someone played Animal Crossing: New Horizons for so long on end they conked out with the console still in their hands.

Looks like someone fell asleep at the Switch.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlastLeatherwing
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
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So I saw a group of people crossing the street tonight carrying ski stuff the one guy in the front of the group was tasked with carrying the ski poles...

So I guess you can say that they put him in pole position

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Loam_Lion
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
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I got hit by a rickshaw while crossing the road today

I was rickrolled

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KVN_47
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
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What do you call three Mexicans crossing the border?

Tres passers

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/garlicriiiice
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2020
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I’ve decided to get Animal Crossing

It crossed my mind that I need to broaden my horizons

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ayyyyysdf165
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
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My buddy was concerned about his chicken crossing the road.

I said his concerns are poultry.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JuteScrap
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2020
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Moses had a really big part in crossing the Red Sea
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Bandit_TFR
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
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I saw a guy trying to cross a really busy street. Trying to be helpful, I said, β€œYou know, there is a zebra crossing 50ft ahead.”

He said, β€œI hope he’s having a better luck than I am.”

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
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Every time we go over a railroad crossing, I tell my kids...

β€œHey, a train just went by!"

β€œHow do you know daddy?”

β€œBecause its tracks are still here!”

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2017
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Which jedi was famous for crossing streets?

Luke sidewalker

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigboi2924
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
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Drives by railroad crossing: a train came through here not to long ago. It’s tracks are still here
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/420rubberducky
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2019
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A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails.

When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, β€œI don’t know. It all happened so fast.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EmmaTR2002
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
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What do you get when crossing an agnostic, dyslexic, and insomniac?

A person who stays awake all night pondering if there really is a dog.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BNYRBT
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2018
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When crossing the road to the music store

b sharp, or b flat

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
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It’s important to look both ways before crossing the street, but don’t be like your late uncle Carl...

... make sure you are looking left and right, NOT up and down.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/plmcalli
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
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How do you call a spanish guy crossing your property?

Trespassito

^((i am so sorry, alexa play despacito))

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mategi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2018
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Why did the lion cross the road? Because he saw a zebra-crossing...
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thereelaman
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2018
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What do you get when crossing an Elephant and a Rhino?

.... eleph-ino

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/unicycleguy06
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2019
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Family of tomatoes is crossing the street

Dad tomato, mom tomato and son tomato. Son tomato is going too slow so his dad slaps him and says ketchup.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Robden25
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2018
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Just called the police on the schools crossing guard

for human trafficking

πŸ‘︎ 79
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SailorMoon_J
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2018
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As we were passing over a railroad crossing my dad gave me this one.

Him: A train just came through there, you know how I could tell?

Me: How?

Him: I could see its tracks.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2018
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What did the lollipop lady say to the zebra crossing?

'You're stripping me of a job.'

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2016
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Every time we pass a railroad crossing...

"OH WOW THIS IS SPECTACULAR. A train must have been here recently, you can still see its tracks!!"

πŸ‘︎ 336
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BaconMaster64
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2013
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Dad and son crossing street together

Me and my kid crossing the street.

Kid: "There was a gummy bear in the crosswalk, wonder how that happened."

Me: "I don't know, but that bear is sure stuck there."

Bow

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MastroRVM
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2017
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Crossing the street with my padre

We get to the crosswalk and the signal says "Wait."

My dad says 215 pounds and walks across.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BaltimoreBirdGuy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2014
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What do you call a chicken crossing the road?

Poultry in motion

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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My wife volunteers as a crossing guard, but gets really mad at me when I tell everyone about it.

I say, β€œShe’s into human trafficking.”

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
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Railroad Crossing

Railroad crossing, look out for cars. Can you spell that without any "R"s?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bonuscivis_Eques
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
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Every time we go past a railroad crossing, I always tell my kids, "Hey, a train just went by!" They grudgingly ask, β€œHow do you know daddy?”

β€œBecause its tracks are still here!”

πŸ‘︎ 296
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2018
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Railroad crossing without any cars, can you spell that without any "r"s?

T H A T

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Show_me_yo_tits
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2015
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